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Dan the Man's Movie Reviews

All my aimless thoughts, ideas, and ramblings, all packed into one site!

Whiteout (2009)


The best thing I love about movies, is when I can see the characters breathing, during the whole freakin’ thing!

The lone U.S. marshal at a research station in Antarctica, Carrie Stetko (Kate Beckinsale) stumbles upon the continent’s first murder victim. With only three days left until the sun sets for six months, Carrie races to solve the complex mystery before darkness falls.

Basically, this film sucks. I just thought I’d throw that out there to give you an idea, of the kind of review you should expect.

This film tries to act like it’s different, and inventive, which really pissed me off, cause it’s neither. It’s your ordinary who-done-it thriller, mixed with a bit of slasher elements, that don’t work either. The film tries to keep you on the edge of your seat guessing who the killer is, but in the first 20 minutes I already knew, as well as my mom, who is always clueless to movies.

I also think that filming action sequences in a blizzard aren’t the best idea. I’m pretty sure when one person is wearing a jacket and goggles, everybody else is too, so you can’t really tell who’s who, especially when the film’s cutting from one angle, to another. You literally cannot see anything in this movie, especially in their most crucial moments, and I was just appalled that they actually thought this was going to be a good idea.

I don’t think Kate Beckinsale got the memo that this was a thriller, so be thrilled. She shares just about no emotions, to anything that’s going on, and she is basically piss-poor at everything in this movie, especially with the real shitty dialogue. Gabriel Macht comes out of nowhere as a U.N. detective, and sucks as well. Columbus Short, and Alex O’Loughlin actually made their parts more bearable, but still they can’t help but be taken down by this terrible script.

Consensus: It acts like it’s a new, original thriller, that keeps you guessing forever, considering its awfully predictable, unbearable to even look at, and just terrible performances.

1/10=SomeOleBullShitt!!

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8 responses to “Whiteout (2009)

  1. Japan Cinema October 22, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    Some ol Bullshit is right…this movie fell off the radar HARD, i usually get around to renting things I pass in theaters but I didn’t even know about this movie until you just reminded me. A true sign of crap!

  2. MichaelAndTerrance October 25, 2010 at 8:15 pm

    I really wanted to see this one after seeing a clip at Comic-Con, but then it got delayed and rewritten and reshot and barely released and I missed. Sounds like I didn’t miss much. A shame.

  3. boogiestu October 26, 2010 at 12:14 am

    The studios think Beckinsale is hot right now lets cash in. Every else throw some money at it and they have a movie. Even a dollar rental not worth it. But it’s fun to talk trash about.

  4. Pingback: Happy Halloween! « Dan The Man's Movie Reviews

  5. Addicted to Films November 10, 2010 at 3:12 pm

    This was soo bad. They should have kept more from the novel other than the Whiteout bit.

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