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Dan the Man's Movie Reviews

All my aimless thoughts, ideas, and ramblings, all packed into one site!

Immortals (2011)


Oooooooooh sooo shinnnyyy.

In Ancient Greece, King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) searches for a powerful weapon that will free the bloodthirsty Titans and enable them to overpower the gods and enslave mankind. Unable to interfere directly, the gods choose a champion to defend them: Theseus (Henry Cavill). Theseus gathers a ragtag band of warriors, including priestess Phaedra (Freida Pinto) and slave Stavros (Stephen Dorff), to meet the challenge.

Director Tarsem Singh is not a dude I know very well when it comes to his films but from what I know they are beautiful. This is one of those cases here.

The great aspect Singh brings to this film is that everything here is filmed with these bright and vibrant colors that are mixed in with these sets. Some are CG and some are actually real, but either way, everything here just looks beautiful and filmed with this style that almost reminds me of a painting of some sorts that I would see on the ceiling of a church. Probably one of the best looking films of the year and another reason for me to actually go out there and look at this dudes movies.

However, as my 4th grade teacher would always tell me, “beauty is only skin-deep”, which is sadly the case for this film. The problem with this film is that the writing is so generic and lame that nothing seems to really stand-out other than the beautiful colors and ass-kicking action. These characters talk as if they were straight out of a ‘300‘ sequel and there’s no real emotional drive to this film that makes you root for these “people” as they go on and fight the big war.

Also, I never understood just what the hell was up Hyperion. Hyperion wants to wage this huge war on the Gods but he never has a big enough reason and when he does finally say it, I couldn’t take it as that seriously. It could have been fleshed out a bit more, through maybe a flashback here and there but instead was just left in the air. Oh yeah, the reason why he starts the war with the Gods is because his wife and kids die from a disease/sickness. Makes perfect sense, right?

There are also parts to this film where everything seems to drag on and on to the point of where you just want somebody to do something effin’ crazy. All of those epic and intense battle sequences you see from the trailers and everything, is here, but at the end of the film when the rest of it is just about these 3-5 people going after Hyperion. It’s not like the whole film is boring it’s just that the slow parts, seemed to drag on so much more because of the action being as great as it is.

Speaking of the action, it’s freakin’ awesome. Everything is shot so colorfully that the mix of blood and gore fully makes this film a fun treat, especially when the action starts to get bigger, louder, and a lot more epic. You don’t have the normal slow-mo sequences that almost every action director tries to do nowadays, which gives you time to enjoy all of the men spearing, beheading, pulverizing, impaling a whole lot more at a quick and fast pace. When the action happens, it’s fun, bloody, and stylish the problem is that it just happens after some very long periods of dragging.

The real spectacle this film is also trying to high-light is the big-screen U.S. debut of Henry Cavill who plays Theseus, and is also going to be playing Superman. He does what he can with this script and I think he really does have what it takes to be a great Superman because he just has that physically strong and heroish man look to him that will win anybody over.

Mickey Rourke is also having a lot of fun as the baddy, King Hyperion aka the guy who is eating something in almost every scene. It’s awesome to see Rourke having a fun time with a role that he could play for more and more decades to come. Stephen Dorff is good as the comic relief and kick-ass warrior, Stavros, and Freida Pinto is kind of mute and just not doing anything as the “virgin priestess”, Phaedra.

Consensus: Visionary director Tarsem Singh brings so many colorful, vibrant, beautiful, and larger-than-life sets to this film that it almost makes Immortals feel like some sort of dream filled with bloody and fun action, but also a lame script and long moments of boredom in between all of the slashing and killing.

6.5/10=Rental!!

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44 responses to “Immortals (2011)

  1. Fogs November 14, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    Comically bad.

    Glad you enjoyed it well enough, but…

  2. Bobby Myers November 14, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    Nice work with the review, thanks for checkin’ out mine on As Seen By. I will agree that the screenwriting left some to be desired, but I chalked that up to bad dialogue. As for the pacing and the emotional drive, I’ll disagree with you a bit. I think the motives were clear and everything happened in well-paced intervals, I liked the soft-then-hard dynamic.

  3. Dynamica Music November 14, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    I agree with this review and I did notice the ‘Eating in every scene’ and I relate that also in Boyz in the Hood where the football draftee character is always eating. I believe it’s a directors ploy to establish a character that is hungry for life. Which fits since Hyperion’s goal was to have EVERYONE be from his genetic stock.

  4. Dynamica Music November 14, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    I never felt bored with the pacing, i just wanted, not only more character development, but also more bonding between characters. Phaedra dripping the water into his mouth was stirring, but other than that what bonded the heroes together? They needed one major fight where they watched each others back. The oracle could have killed the final (one more surprise) bad guy and Theseus repeats the line about being stronger than she looks…cliche, but still an effective movie device. It was like they just hooked up out of nowhere. I actually wish they had stopped right before, came to their senses and saved the dessert till after dinner!

  5. Jaskee November 14, 2011 at 3:43 pm

    Thanks for reading my review. I always want more character development and that was one of the problems that I had with this movie. I also wanted the action to last longer than it did. It would have been cool to have the battles feel more epic and emotional.

  6. Dynamica Music November 14, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    I don’t see if you wrote a review for Clash of the Titans and Troy. You should. Those have some deep flaws too that me review for Immortals touched on.

  7. John Marsden (@MarsdenTherapy) November 14, 2011 at 4:20 pm

    Hi Dan, Good review – fair and accurate. Felt a bit cheated after seeing this film. Could have been so much more if they had considered the psychology of each character and their relationships.

  8. robertfelix November 14, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    Looks like we found a consensus, Dan.

  9. Debbie November 14, 2011 at 5:33 pm

    I was pumped by the beautiful previews in theaters but since the story turned out to be so lacking I wasn’t sure that the even the fabulous VFX would be enough for me to bother with paying to see it. Your review agrees with all the others that I’ve read, so I’m glad I skipped it. Thanks. :)

  10. Daniel (@danfromaus) November 14, 2011 at 8:29 pm

    Good review. I think we are pretty much thinking along the same lines.

  11. Mike "the movie guy" Pierce November 14, 2011 at 9:23 pm

    I enjoyed the movie. But…I thought I would’ve liked it more than I did. Kind of disappointed in a way. The last 20 minutes rocked…and Mizzzzz Sexy Freida…wowwwww!

    • CMrok93 November 15, 2011 at 4:13 am

      Freida is sexy but she doesn’t do anything here. However, the film is pretty fun but I can see a lot of people being disappointed. It wasn’t anything spectacular but still cool. Thanks Mike!

  12. LM Preston November 15, 2011 at 12:48 am

    Oooh great review. Nice that we rated it about the same. Like the poster shot you picked over the one I had. They seemed to have about 5 different ones.

  13. theglobaldigital November 15, 2011 at 1:40 am

    Great Review ! Anytime you want to do a guest review for our website let us know…
    Thanks,
    Bill Palmer
    http://www.theglobaldigital.com

  14. Satish Naidu November 15, 2011 at 3:43 am

    “Like the ceiling of a church”. So true!
    The Olympians battling the Titans in the skies shot from below is one the great shots I have ever seen, as they’re saying, like the ceiling of Sistine Chapel. It is beyond exhilarating. Trust me Dan, I didn’t even mind the plot. Here was a film that was wall-to-wall orgasmic

    • CMrok93 November 15, 2011 at 4:15 am

      It was beautiful to look at but when it came to the plot, I needed just a tad more. Thanks Satish! Glad to know you know you were popping a B the whole film. Haha

  15. David H. Schleicher November 15, 2011 at 4:43 am

    You should check out Tarsem’s The Fall – much stronger story, more original, and equally great visuals.

  16. rohan November 15, 2011 at 6:49 am

    nice humorous style to your writing.. loved the review.. i think we agree on almost all accords.. and i agree with David, must check out The Fall.. cheers!

  17. Scott Lawlor November 15, 2011 at 7:50 am

    HEHEH I knew it was going to be average at best. I had a preview screening of it early last week, but decided not to waste the fuel getting there. I think I may have been right!

    I saw an extended segment of it at a press event in the Summer and it looked awful. TOO MUCH SLOW MO FIGHTING!!!

  18. Castor November 15, 2011 at 6:19 pm

    Nice review Dan. It’s so visually stunning that you don’t really care how flimsy the story is. A lot more fun than the 36% Rotten Tomatoes would suggest!

  19. Shaun Collins (@vortexshaun) November 17, 2011 at 3:07 am

    Sorry Dan, gotta disagree. The bright vibrant colors were not bright and vibrant, but rather dull and the same. Everything was gold, brown, dark brown or black. Very earth toned. But unlike 300 where those same colors were given something to do, here it just felt like a paint by numbers. The battle scenes were epic and awesome, but not enough of them (and I’m sorry, did we see the same film? Totally slow mo! Or at least it looked like it from God Speed!)

    Thanks for the review!

  20. Liz November 17, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    All in all, perhaps the film could have used a bit more character development, as you suggested, for Hyperion, which would require a bit of improvement on the writing. However, visually, the film was very well done. As Shaun pointed out, there were a lot of earth tones, but we have to remember that during ancient Greek times, there weren’t a lot of dyes to make other colors in fabrics, so it was more accurate that way. Those earth tones are what made the gods and high priestesses stand out–they were the most vibrant colors, which also highlights their roles as the “good guys.” By using darker images for the Titans and Hyperion’s troops, it gave a more foreboding feeling to their presence. Good review from you, too! Thanks for reading mine as well :)

  21. Stueeey November 17, 2011 at 11:09 pm

    Hi thanks for dropping by my blog and commenting on my review as I said in my review I felt that it was a good movie. However the twist was will he swap sides and there just wasn’t anything to ever doubt he will. That being said you have got to give this movie its due it was a good action movie. Just lacking when it came to depth of script

  22. jessicabookworm November 19, 2011 at 10:38 am

    Spot on review :-)

    I didn’t know that Cavill was going to be the next Superman?! But I agree I think he has great promise for that role. And I really liked seeing Stephen Dorf seems ages since I saw him in a big movie i.e. Blade.

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