If I see anything that’s small and yellow, doesn’t matter what object it is, I’m going to smash it. I’m not kidding.
When we last left ex-villain Gru (Steve Carell) and the his three, adopted-kids were getting along just fine and it’s still nice to see that they are a couple years later. However, Gru does get lonely at times and when he isn’t being the best daddy that he can be, he’s either trying to see what ladies want him or his bald head. The propositions do come, but they aren’t perfect enough for him to fully go for the gold. Anyway, in walks Lucy (Kristen Wiig), the Anti-Villain League agent who actually recruits Gru to be apart of secret mission where they must find out who’s the secret leader/owner of a deadly virus that could spread and harm many.
Despite the first one being an ultra smash, from critics and audiences alike, for some odd reason, I just never really latched on Despicable Me like everybody else and their parents seemed to. It was sweet; it had a nice message to it; and I’m all for supporting kids and families, but the movie just didn’t do much for me, especially with what else I saw in the genre of animation, during the year 2010. Still, that didn’t matter because the only ones who mattered, actually liked it and I was practically left in the dust, knowing that there was going to be another sequel, in hopes to only prolong the franchise any longer than it needs to be.
All of my worst nightmares have actually come true and it doesn’t show any signs of stopping. Why me? Why!?!?!?
“Yo, Frank. I can’t wait to get that paycheck so I can hit my bitches up muthafuckaaaaaaa.”
With a movie like this, as sweet-natured as it may be, and as cynical and emotionless as I may be; I still have to get put my critic-cap on and get down to business with these types of flicks because in all honesty, animation movies aren’t all bad, it’s just that when they don’t do much to change the game or bring you something new you haven’t seen done before, it almost feels like a waste of time. Maybe I say that because I’ve been spoiled on Pixar my whole life and it hasn’t quite hit me yet that even they’re beginning to hit a slip as of late, but I’ve always stood by that idea and I probably always will. Give me a fine piece of animation, along with something original to work with, then I’m all ears and eyes. However, if you don’t, then you might have just lost me, which is exactly what happened with this flick here.
Granted, I know it’s not a movie that’s supposed to appeal to me in any type of way, but after about the 4th or 5th time I saw one of these annoying, little pieces of crap they call “Minions” beat the hell out of each other with whatever type of inanimate object they could find, I was already checking myself at the door, as well as looking at the watch that I imagined myself having. And don’t let me forget to remind you, this was during the first 15 minutes already. Don’t worry, I had plenty more time left to go and it seemed like it was only going to get worse and it sort of did, and it sort of didn’t.
It wasn’t as bad as I may make it out to be with all of my words that I type down, through the slugs and the groans, but overall, the movie is a pleasant-experience, and not just for kids, but for parents as well. I’m not a parent (or at least not a practicing-one), but I can tell that if they got dragged into seeing this with their kids, not only would they be smiling because they’re kiddie-bops are having fun, but also because they’re having an enjoyable time as well. At the screening, plenty of kids were laughing their rumps off, but the parents weren’t so quit either. Obviously I was, but that’s me. I’m a dick-head and I know it, so don’t pay any attention to me when it comes to movies like these. I like what I like, and it seems like these Despicable Me movies aren’t located anywhere in my taste-buds. Shame too, because I usually enjoy the hell out of the cast they have on-display here; with their voices that is.
Steve Carell still nails the role of Gru with his somewhat, Russian-accent and proves that he doesn’t need to be intentionally goofy to make us laugh. Okay, that’s a lie; the guy totally does and with good reason, because when I heard anything come out of Gru’s mouth, I just imagined Carell on the other side of the microphone, having the time of his life with this character. Carell is always a funny guy in stuff that he does, even the serious, melodramatic stuff, but it seems like Gru was the type of role he was born to play, if not just for over-the-top, vocal-theatrics, but because the character himself meshes so well with his voice. They go together so well that it’s almost too hard to imagine anybody else’s voice filling in for him.
Which is weird, considering that the main villain’s voice of this movie, El Macho, just so happened to filled-in. Awhile back, once the flick got announced and was in the final stages of negotiation, it was made clear to us all that Al Pacino would be voicing the role of the villain in this movie and surprisingly, it added a bunch of much-needed excitement for this movie, from my end at least. Best of all though, Pacino would be voicing a Hispanic character, which meant that he would once again be donning the Tony Montana voice just for shits, gigs, and for the kiddies as well. It had me so excited and a bit curious to see how it all played-out, that was, until Pacino dropped out for some odd reason, and Benjamin Bratt took over, filling in for the dude. Bratt is not a bad actor and usually gives good work in everything that he does, so this is nowhere near a hit on him, but going from Pacino to Bratt, is like going from Brando to Affleck. Both are known for pulling off their trademark style, but one is so much better than the other at doing it, that it’s almost a shock that one would ever contemplate replacing the other.
See, kids? This is what happens when you have to become a father. No, not that you become an animated character voiced by Steve Carell, but you go bald. End. Of. Story.
All of that dumb crap said, Bratt is still good voicing the role, it just makes you wonder what could have been, had Pacino not blown a fuse and left the set. Or the recording-booth. Whichever one it was.
As for everybody else, they’re all fine too and make the most of what they’re given, as stale and boring as it may be at times. Kristen Wiig’s general likability and charm comes right out of her voice, and directly into this character of Lucy, the one who takes a liking to Gru and his set of skills, and they both provide a nice companionship that isn’t just based on feelings, but a wee-bit of fun as well. Honestly, where the hell was this character in the first one? And last, but definitely not least are the Minions, who are as annoying as ever this go-around and provide nothing fun or cool to see, except for a bunch of slapstick that gets old after about the first smack to the head or a tumble to the ground.
Still can’t believe those fucks are getting their own movie.
Consensus: Maybe these aren’t the types of movies for me and maybe something in my head just isn’t as gentle and sweet as this material calls on me to be, but Despicable Me 2 still feels like an obvious retread of the original, with few or less surprises along the way.
5 / 10 = Rental!!
Aka, my the exact mug on my face the whole movie.