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Dan the Man's Movie Reviews

All my aimless thoughts, ideas, and ramblings, all packed into one site!

Crystal Fairy & the Magical Cactus (2013)


Cactus’ are pretty much useless, except for when you want to trip mad balls.

Snobbish, college-grad Jamie (Michael Cera) travels all the way to Chile for one reason, and for one reason only: To find a famed cactus that contains hallucinogenic material. It’s definitely something that Jamie feels excited for, and can’t wait to tell everybody about it. However, at a party one night, he may have told the wrong person when he meets a fellow-American named Crystal Fairy (Gaby Hoffmann). Crystal Fairy is a bit of a free-spirit who goes her own way and doesn’t care too much about the little things; which also just so happens to be the exact opposite of who Jamie is and he lets her know about it, and somewhere amid the conversation, accidentally informs and somewhat invites her to come along on this trip with him and a few Chilean friends of his. But Jamie doesn’t think much about it, all up until he actually gets a call from her saying that she’s ready-to-go. Many times on this trip, Jamie considers dropping her off somewhere along the way and practically abandoning her, but his friends think that’s not the cool thing to do. So, Crystal Fairy stays with these guys as they look for this cactus where she preaches, meditates, puts rocks in their drinks and gets them to open-up just a tad bit; all of which Jamie doesn’t like and thus why he butts heads with her the most.

He loves that cactus, man. No, I mean, he reaaaaaaally loves that cactus.

He loves that cactus, man. No, I mean, he reaaaaaaally loves that cactus.

You can just tell when a movie was clearly made all because the cast and crew had some time, money and ideas on their hands. Nothing wrong with that really, because I feel like any and all directors would love to be at that point in their career where they can just “do” a movie, all for craps and giggles. However, the only problem may be is that it almost feels a bit too much like they just don’t care and are doing it just to do it (looking at you, Sandler).

But, like I said before, making a movie just because, isn’t always a bad thing, as you can tell that there’s clearly a lot of talent and effort involved, so why not? And there’s the great aspect behind Crystal Fairy: It may be a minor movie, but it somehow works wonders without even seeming like it’s trying to. Writer/director/co-star Sebastián Silva clearly just came-up with this movie on the top of his head and it actually makes this movie feel like a realistic-look at a bunch of people that just want to go out onto the beach, drink some cactus fluid and trip insanely. Of course that premise alone could make for a pretty boring movie, but there’s something naturalistic to this whole movie to where it feels like you are actually watching these guys go out on a road-trip, only to be screwed over by the utter-presence of a female.

And while it’s clear that Silva definitely didn’t think this whole film through to where it’s perfectly-written down to the last character-arch, the situations and discussions he gives his character’s to deal with, all feel fully-realized and are ripe with a lot of interesting ideas. Though most of that ideas don’t come together as perfectly in the abrupt ending, for the most part, the movie’s funny without being over-bearing; dramatic without being ham-handed; and slightly compelling, without trying to throw too many turns and twists at us.

In other words, it’s just like real life. Except this time, real life that takes place in Chile, where all young people want to do is get a wild trip.

Speaking of these young people, they are all pretty fine, even though the two highlights in this cast are clearly both Michael Cera and Gaby Hoffmann who both show that those cute, adorable child roles they had all of those years back, are all but long ways back in the distance. We’re always so used to seeing Cera playing the awkward, twitchy and nervous guy who never finishes his sentences and doesn’t quite know how to talk to girls, let alone anyone for that matter, but here, he’s definitely a bit changed-up in terms of what who his character is. Jamie, for lack of a better word, is a dick – he’s the type of guy you probably met in high-school that offended you one day and you never talked to him again, and your life was never changed because of it because he’s so unpleasant to be around. He always picks people apart, says dumb things to make himself seem “cool” and just does not know how to be a nice guy, which could have been terribly annoying to watch, but Cera’s good with it. He shows us that there may be some attractive-features to this guy and his personality, but so far, from what we see, there isn’t many. But Cera’s good with this role and shows that he is a bit more versatile than what his previous, ten or twelve roles may have you think.

That's all I'm going to show you.....pervs.

That’s all I’m going to show you…..pervs.

But the real stand-out here is Gaby Hoffmann who has been making quite a splash as of late showing up in these adult roles, where you’ll have to rub your eyes maybe once or twice and think, “Is that really the little girl from Field of Dreams? And even Uncle Buck? Whaaaaaat?” Especially here, considering she gets full-on naked quite a few times in this movie, but isn’t done in a gratuitous or manipulative way for her to show us that she’s an adult now, with “things”; it’s done to give us the impression that Crystal Fairy truly is everything she claims to be, if not more. Now, to be honest, I know plenty of people out there in my life that are exactly like this gal, and while I always find myself somehow drawn to them, they always seem to get on my nerves when push comes to love, man. That’s why, when I first met Crystal Fairy here, I couldn’t help but side with everything Jamie was saying: She looked, dressed and acted weird, as if she was all doing it for the attention of others. However, as time went on, I began to see that Jamie was in fact “the weird one”, and really liked how open Crystal Fairy was as a person, and how she didn’t really hide herself from these people she just met. Hoffmann is fun to watch on-screen, not because she gets nakey quite an awful lot of times, but because she brings a lot of energy to the film, which is why when she’s not around, you can feel the movie sort of deflate. But when she does show up, she more than makes it a time to remember, and that’s all I’d like to say about that.

While some of you may think I’m being slight and a bit vague, there isn’t much more to this movie than that. It’s basically just a bunch of people, on the road, who do have a destination and run into some fun, wacky situations along that way. Most of them are entertaining, and others are quite inspired, but that’s pretty much it. It won’t change your life, it won’t have you remembering much after watching it, nor will it ever crack anybody’s “Top 10 Lists” (I actually don’t think it did), but it’s a nice piece of film that goes to show you that you don’t need a lot of big bucks to make a simple, but entertaining movie. All you need is a little time, talent and energy to want to make something.

Consensus: May be a slight feature altogether, but Crystal Fairy & The Magical Cactus is an alright watch, if solely to see what else it is that Gaby Hoffmann and Michael Cera can do, now that they’re all grown-up, primed and ready for whatever Hollywood throws at them.

7 / 10 = Rental!!

"Yo guys, you feel that yet? Like, a burning sensation in my pan...I mean, brain!"

“Yo guys, you feel that yet? Like, a burning sensation in my pan…I mean, brain!”

Photo’s Credit to: IMDBColliderJobloComingSoon.net

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27 responses to “Crystal Fairy & the Magical Cactus (2013)

  1. Tanner Jones January 22, 2014 at 5:29 am

    I started watching this film on Netflix, but I couldn’t finish… It wasn’t unbearable, but it wasn’t good enough to leave on when there are a billion other great choices on Netflix… Glad you enjoyed it, though!

  2. Whit's Movie Reviews January 22, 2014 at 5:35 am

    I agree with you almost completely on this, even the rating. I think it wasn’t all that great to begin with, although it did have some interesting ideals at times. I really liked the ending, but everything else was just alright to me. Good review Dan.

  3. Whit's Movie Reviews January 22, 2014 at 5:36 am

    I agree with you almost completely on this, even the rating. I think it wasn’t all that great to begin with, although it did have some interesting ideals at times. I really liked the ending, but everything else was just alright to me. Good review Dan!

  4. Whit's Movie Reviews January 22, 2014 at 5:36 am

    Whoops I just posted that comment twice. Sorry!

  5. Tom January 22, 2014 at 6:14 am

    Man its good to see you send this film some love, because I absolutely hated it! :D :D

    But you make some good points here; Cera is a d**k but he is good in the role, which is probably why I hated him so much, and Gaby Hoffman is equally kooky as Crystal Fairy. I didn’t like her much either, but I did like her much more than Jamie. To me it all came down to how much I didn’t like these people. The experience itself was. . .alright, but yeah. I just didn’t really like these peeps

    • CMrok93 January 22, 2014 at 9:50 pm

      I guess that’s what it truly does come down to. Not the type of people you’d want to hang out with, eh? Then I think you and I would be perfect friends. Fuck these losers, man!

  6. Zoë January 22, 2014 at 6:36 am

    I really don’t know if this is something I will watch… great review though Dan!

  7. Nostra January 22, 2014 at 6:57 am

    Heard about this a while ago and checked out the trailer. It seemed like a movie probably not for me. This movie screams “Indie”, which in general I don’t mind, but here the trailer just did not appeal.

  8. The Vern January 22, 2014 at 7:10 am

    Damn it Dan. you peaked my interest with this one. I wanted to forget it, but your thoughts on Michael Cera and Gaby Hoffman makes me want to seek this one(and no not just the promise of nudity). I like seeing that Cera can try different roles then the ones he usually does , and this may be one that gets him different roles

    • CMrok93 January 22, 2014 at 9:52 pm

      I hope he continues to do so because I always knew there was more to him, we just didn’t always get a chance to see that. However, that seems to be changing and I can’t wait.

  9. thomasjford January 22, 2014 at 8:54 am

    Hmmm, undecided on this. It’s on ‘the list’, but not very high up it!

  10. thycriticman January 22, 2014 at 10:02 am

    This film has a really cool poster going for it, and that is about it when it comes to catching my interest. I have read a negative review, and now a positive review of it, so now I kind of feel like seeing it for myself.

    Cera suits the obnoxious prick role. He just looks like someone who could be irritating!

  11. jjames36 January 22, 2014 at 12:23 pm

    Sounds promising. I’ll make a point of seeking out this one.

  12. pittsburghmoviegirl January 22, 2014 at 12:57 pm

    Thanks for the review – I was debating whether or not to watch this. I will make sure I catch it before the Independent Spirit Awards now! And did you see Gaby Hoffman naked on Girls?

  13. guysfilmquest January 22, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    It always surprises me when there’s a movie I haven’t heard of, but I was even more surprised to find that two people had reviewed it on Half Popped before I even saw your review. Weird, right? One of the other guys agreed with you, also giving it a 7/10. Given the name of the movie and the fact that Michael Cera often has weird taste in roles (like Year One and Youth In Revolt), I was expecting you’d give it a MUCH lower rating (like a 2 or 3). Now that I’m seeing you give it a decent rating, and the fact that someone mentioned it’s on Netflix, I’ll give it a look.

    As always, very well-written review!

  14. table9mutant January 26, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    I’d like to check this one out. Thanks for the review! Not seen any others review it…

  15. Victor De Leon January 27, 2014 at 1:16 am

    I have this one on my Netflix list. Looks wacky, man. Nice review. I think I’ll move it up to watch soon. Thanks for another solid write up, Dan!

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