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Dan the Man's Movie Reviews

All my aimless thoughts, ideas, and ramblings, all packed into one site!

The Other Woman (2014)


Some dudes just have all the luck. Except for the part about getting caught. Yeah, that sort of blows.

Carly (Cameron Diaz) is a wealthy, middle-aged lawyer who thinks she has met the man of her dreams in the form of Mark (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau). What she thinks, though, is different from the reality. See, Mark is hiding a bit of a secret that he’s actually married to his spunky housewife Kate (Leslie Mann) who accidentally finds out what is going on between the two when Carly unexpectedly shows up, knocking on their front-door. Though Kate is upset with this shocking piece of information, she decides to not let her husband know that she knows, and instead, devolves a game in which she and Carly will spy on him and try to take him down with everything he’s got, just in case the two get a divorce. However, while spying on his every move in Miami, they stumble upon another girlfriend of Mark’s – this time, a lot younger and in the form of Amber (Kate Upton). Amber, like the other two, is clearly upset and distraught with what to make of this new info, but also like the other two, decides that it’s time to teach dear old Mark a lesson about screwing around way too much.

In other words: Girl power!

So yep, anytime you get a movie that boasts a female-dominated cast, more than likely, it has to do with the fact that a dude screwed up something. Better yet, the dude screwed most of them over. Which, I can’t complain too much about because spouses do cheat on other spouses, but it just sucks that the only types of mainstream, female-centered movies we’ll get to see have to feature a member of the male gender, doing something reprehensible that allows the ladies to have something to talk and yell about; without just getting a movie in which women want to be women, and live it up like no tomorrow, guys are optional!

Some nights, this is me. Usually Fridays.

Some nights, this is me. Usually Fridays.

However, what’s even worse is the fact that this is the type of movie we get when Hollywood decides to give a project all the big bucks it needs to be completed.

Which is very strange considering that this is coming from none other than Mr. Nick Cassavetes, the son of John, a man who was always known to do movies on his time and dime, regardless of what others think they wanted to see or throw some shillings out to see. That man just made movies because he wanted to and he loved the art, whereas his son, as much as I hate to say it, doesn’t really have that going for him. That’s not to say the dude’s never made a bad movie (the Notebook is probably the only Nicholas Sparks-adaptation I can actually fathom), but it is to say that when your dad is that much of a legend for something like making small, independent-movies, to go on and make big, mainstream rom-coms drab-fests like this, sort of seems a bit like wasting good-genes, eh?

Then again, my dad’s a correctional officer, so it goes to show you what I know!

Anyway, like I was saying about this movie and it’s director, it’s a shame that Cassavetes got stuck with doing this (I hope), but it’s an even bigger shame how much of this movie just does not add-up. First off, it’s just not funny. It’s that clear and simple. The movie tries to be all about the wacky situations these gals get into and how they all play it off so awkwardly, and it rarely ever got a giggle from me. Especially not from when Leslie Mann was doing it because, bless her soul, she tries so damn hard to make this material funny and her character likable. But I just could not get past all of her non-stop rambling and yelling, as if she was in one of her own hubby’s movies, where he would just let her run wild with whatever script he sort of laid-out, and tell her to “stop” when he felt was necessary.

But Nick Cassavetes, clearly isn’t Judd Apatow. Not because he can’t seem to tame the lion that is Leslie Mann, but because he doesn’t seem to have a single piece of comedy in his directing-repertoire whatsoever. Sure, maybe I giggled a few here and there, but they were nothing where I felt like this movie needed to be seen. And heck, if you want anymore clarification as to why I laughed a bit and it didn’t matter, it was because most of the laughs came from Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, aka, the same guy whose playing the dick that cheats on everyone except for his right-hand in this movie.

So yeah, when the person you have made-out to be the bad guy ends up getting more laughs than two female stars who are known to be funny whenever they see fit, then you know your movie has problems.

Even worse is when you realize that your movie wasted Kate Upton. And NO, I’m not saying that because we don’t get one-million shots of her half-naked body, running down a beach in a bikini like all us guys so obviously wanted, but because she seems to actually have some charm and spunk to her. But, like I said before, she’s wasted on a bunch of gags that involve her looking at either Diaz or Mann, nodding her head, smiling and laughing. There’s even a part in which she dances risque, but I won’t bother you with any of that right now….

"All I'm saying is that if we're going to split the bill, we have to decide who got the most food. And to be even more honest, I barely even had a sip of that wine."

“All I’m saying is that if we’re going to split the bill, we have to decide who got the most food. And to be even more honest, I barely even had a sip of that wine.”

Okay, moving on.

As for Cameron Diaz, a gal I’ve never been a fan of, I have to say, is given the worst character in this whole movie. Diaz tries and tries a billion times to make this Carly woman likable in the least bit, but she just is not. I get that she’s supposed to a snobby, know-it-all, super-serious Sally, but after awhile, I felt like she was so stern and tense that I didn’t know if she could ever fall in love with anybody, let alone have sex as many times as she does with one guy. Diaz has some of her comedic-timing still with her, but it seems like she’s starting to really fall-off-the-radar by picking bad roles, or, when she does pick interesting roles, gets saddled with having to hump a car.

Yup, that’s a sight one will never, ever forget.

Consensus: The three leading-ladies are charming and beautiful as always, but the Other Woman doesn’t give them much to do except giggle, perform terrible, grade-school-like pranks and get drunk a lot, without really giving us a chance to identify with any of them, except that they want revenge on the same guy, for sort of the same reasons.

3.5 / 10 = Crapola!!

I'm sorry. What we're you saying again?

I’m sorry. You were saying?

Photo’s Credit to: IMDBColliderJobloComingSoon.net

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29 responses to “The Other Woman (2014)

  1. keith7198 April 25, 2014 at 4:11 am

    This was one of my Spring movie flushers! It looks absolutely terrible. Don’t think I’ll be visiting it any time soon!

    Good stuff man!

  2. ninvoid99 April 25, 2014 at 4:46 am

    I like staring at Kate Upton’s tits as much as the next guy but you couldn’t convince me to see this. Oh, and it’s John Cassavetes.

  3. Tom April 25, 2014 at 5:44 am

    YEah I have to say that I won’t be shelling out any buckaroos for this piece of garbaj. Thanks for doing that and putting out the report. It sounds like it could well be worse than I was anticipating. Poor Cameron Diaz.

    To think she was that one chick in The Mask at one point

    • CMrok93 April 25, 2014 at 10:13 pm

      She was to me as well. And then There’s Something About Mary, and then Gangs of New York, and now she’s just that chick who does two shitty movies a year.

  4. Zoë April 25, 2014 at 6:39 am

    Yeah can’t say I will be watching this. Good review as always though Dan!

  5. thomasjford April 25, 2014 at 9:17 am

    I’m steering clear of this one, thanks for the tip off Dan!

  6. Pingback: The Other Woman (2014) | Tinseltown Times

  7. Gene April 25, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    Yeah, this is one I’ll cruise right on past even on television. Thanks for the heads up, Dan.

  8. Brittani April 25, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    Nikolaj Coster-Waldau deserves so much better than this.

  9. falcon760 April 25, 2014 at 1:50 pm

    I’m not seeing a movie with toilet humor. Even I have standards! Most of the time. This review is funny.

  10. myreelpov April 25, 2014 at 3:00 pm

    Hmm I don’t think I agree with what you are saying at the start of your review, female orientated comedies are becoming much more independent of the usual stereotypes in my opinion. I don’t remember Bridemaids or The Heat being centered around women hating men? Anyway, not a fan of the genre but might give this film a go anyway – maybe it’ll appeal to a woman’s sensibilities a bit more, who knows!

    • CMrok93 April 25, 2014 at 10:20 pm

      I see what you’re saying. I’m not trying to say that ALL comedies are centered around females trying to get over dudes, or pawn on more other ones, but I do think that there are quite a large amount that gets seen moreso than the ones that matter. Aka, the ones that don’t include those sorts of plots. Then again, that’s just me though.

  11. Matthew A April 25, 2014 at 6:21 pm

    I would like to applaud you on sitting through the entire film. I know first hand it isn’t easy.

  12. jagarrett April 25, 2014 at 6:54 pm

    A friend and co-worker of mine was hyped about this movie, and seemed to enjoy it. However, she was a 20-something year old woman who’s had some bad experiences with guys.

    I guess what I’m saying here is… I guess they know their audience.

  13. JustMeMike April 26, 2014 at 2:34 am

    Hi Danno –

    Sorry you had to take one for the team, and waste your time on this one. Based on your fine tell-it-like-it-review, I’ll pass on this one until Netflix offers it.

    You know, in 2011 – I saw a film from India called Ladies vs Ricky Bahl. Same story as this. With the added attraction of the guy not only took their hearts, and bodies, but their money too. And the funny thing is, that film was based on an American film, John Tucker Must Die – a 2005 film with the same story. Only in high school.

    What goes around, comes around.

  14. Mark Hobin April 26, 2014 at 5:01 am

    I’m shocked Katherine Heigl isn’t in this.

  15. Joan Fuchsman April 27, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    Enjoyed your review, even though I don’t agree. I do wish and think it could have been funnier and a dfferent director with a flair for comedy might have done the trick. That said, I do think it appeals more to a woman.and not for the obvious reasons. The dialogue felt like something women would say or think. But Dan, to hear you describe Cameron Diaz described as middle-aged is just too sad. :-)
    Joan

  16. Nostra April 27, 2014 at 6:43 pm

    One of the kids wanted me to take her to this tomorrow and I refused…now she is going with her mother and I will go and see the new Spiderman movie.

  17. shazza91321 April 30, 2014 at 6:12 am

    Dan, I liked it and I think this movies is a straight chick flick, guys can stay home on this one. Most of my girlfriends liked this and most of my guy friends did not. Interesting…but I always love your reviews to get another perspective. :)

  18. Pingback: » Movie Review – Bad Teacher (Mini Review) Fernby Films

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