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Dan the Man's Movie Reviews

All my aimless thoughts, ideas, and ramblings, all packed into one site!

Maleficent (2014)


How could one not be petrified to death of those cheek-bones?

When Maleficent (Angelina Jolie) was just a blissful young fairy, she was full of all sorts of life and cared for all of those around her. She loved and protected the forest she lived in; had fairy-friends that she would often fly around with; and even made herself a human-friend in the form of Stefan (Sharlto Copley). They had a great friendship that lasted until he became King – an honor he received by cutting-off Maleficent’s wings, and therefore, robbing her of her innocence. So obviously Maleficent wasn’t too happy about this and decided that she would do whatever she could to extract revenge on him in any way possible, even if that meant cursing his newborn daughter Aurora (Elle Fanning). With the fear that his whole family is in danger, Stefan decides to send his daughter away with three fairies (Lesley Manville, Imelda Staunton, Juno Temple), where they will watch over her and take care of her. However, the problem is that these fairies do a pretty lackluster job at doing so, and instead, leaves Maleficent herself to care for Aurora and watch over her through her formative years; making the bond between the two of them stronger than either could ever imagine. Especially for Maleficent who, if she’s not careful, may actually start caring for this little kid she calls “a beast”.

Though most of you may think that these constant, live-action re-workings of classic fairy-tales may not work for someone such as myself – it’s surprisingly the other way around. In fact, more or less, I actually commend more of them to be made. Not only do I feel like it gives our future generations a better understanding of what these stories actually are and look like, but it also shows us what these types of stories could be with actual, real-life human beings in the role, regardless of how much CGI may be floating around them.

And in the case of Maleficent, there’s a whole lot of CGI floating around here, and then some.

I think in this case, he may be the one with the horns, if you catch my drift.

I think in this case, he may be the one with the horns, if you catch my drift.

While what I just said may have given off a negative connotation, I’ll have you know, that is totally not the case with this movie. See, first-time director Robert Stromberg has truly created something beautiful here; colors, locations and fantasy-like worlds all blend together to give us an idea that were in some place totally original, despite looking like every other fantasy world ever created. It’s a hard task that Stromberg is able to pass, and pass well, which may not seem like much of a surprise to anyone who knows that he’s worked on movies like Avatar and Alice in Wonderland in the past.

However, is there such a thing as a movie looking “too beautiful”? Personally, I don’t believe so, but there does come a point where you have to wonder just when do the visuals end, and the story begin. And here, there isn’t ever a really story that begins, or even ends for that case; it sort of just accompanies the beautiful, awe-inspiring visuals that keep our eyes busy and preoccupied, so that we don’t realize what little story there actually is here.

But considering that this movie is a little over an-hour-and-a-half (a huge surprise to get in the first month of the summer movie season), the lack of a story/drive, is really noticeable and actually makes a lot of the problems with this movie shine even brighter and harsher than before, when all it was that we had to pay attention to was how purrty everything looked.

Like, for instance, with the exception of our titled-character, there is not a single interesting character to be found throughout this whole movie; instead, everybody is just a bunch of walking, talking, and behaving cliches. Sharlto Copley plays King Stefan who is basically just a selfish, deuchy man that continues to get more and more insane, just as his facial-hair begins to get more and more ridiculous and over-bearing; the three fairies are ditsy klutzes used to be something of “comedic-reliefs”, yet they are neither; Sam Riley seems like he wants to break out and show off some charm as Maleficent’s side-kick that she can turn into any creature she can think of, but anytime it seems like he’s just about to, our evil queen (aka, the movie) turns him into a crow, or a wolf, or a dragon, therefore killing any possibility that he may have some fun in this thinly-written role; and Elle Fanning, for once in her short, but storied-career, gave me a performance of hers that’s not the least bit intriguing, because, for the most part, all she has to do is look up to Maleficent and gaze into those mesmerizing eyes of hers.

That’s pretty much it. Could have called up Dakota for that job, if you ask me.

But that’s not even the bulk of the problems with this movie; like I alluded to before, there’s really no story here. In case you didn’t know, this is an origin-tale that throws us right into this story, this world, and this character that we’re clearly supposed to care for, but once Maleficent turns the other cheek and becomes an evil beotch, then the movie sort of just moves along at its own pace, while at the same time, not really doing anything. Sure, we get to see some shading to the character of Maleficent and how she’s not all that much of a despicable witch after all, but it’s not enough to warrant a whole movie made about her, her adventures, and the problems she must overcome as an evil witch scorned with hatred and revenge for another man.

Come to think of it, it’s always about a man, isn’t it? These Disney movies always love to brag and show off how much they’re about “girl power” and how much having a man in their life doesn’t matter, but when it really comes right down to it, it’s always a man that they’re fighting for, or because. It’s never that a woman lives her life because she wants to by her own free-will; it’s always because a man had some inspiration in the matter, somehow, someway. Always seems a bit weird to me, but maybe I just think too much.

And this is what sort of brings me to my next point about the most important aspect of this whole movie: Angelina Jolie as Maleficent. It’s cool to see Jolie in a role like this that nobody could ever see her actually accepting to do, but I guess motherhood has had a bit of an affect on her life as of late and it’s about time that she finally decided to take some roles for herself and bring some of that extra-dough. Whether or not that’s actually the case, it doesn’t matter because at least we still get to see how good she is when she’s given enough material for her to chew on and work with to the bone. She’s always been known to do that, as well as show everybody how damn beautiful and dazzling she looks; so with an iconic villain like Maleficent, you think that she’d be working wonders with this role. Right?

Ripped right out of Shrek.

When did everything become Shrek all of a sudden?

Well, that’s the problem, once again, with the movie: It doesn’t give her enough to really run wild or have a good time with. There’s a certain charisma that Jolie brings to this role that allows us to see her more human than ever before, but there’s just not enough camp to this performance where we really get the sense that she’s having fun. She’s never going through the motions, however, she’s never really showing all that much of an effort that would really put this movie over the edge into being something you need to see, if only for her.

Most of that’s the movie’s fault, and less of her own, but it’s still a fault that this movie should be held accountable for. And not just because it doesn’t give one of our best-working actresses today enough material to really go nuts with, but because it makes Maleficent, the character, seem like sort of a jumble of ideas. I’m all for getting behind a villainous character and showing them in a slightly sympathetic-light, but with somebody as memorably and recognizably scary as Maleficent, it doesn’t really do her any justice for us to see her as a character we not only stand behind, but actually come to like. Not saying that it can’t be done, but when it comes to this character, one who is quite frightening even in animated-form, then you really have to know just what you’re going to do with her and why. If you don’t, then don’t bother.

And you sure as hell don’t waste any of Angelina’s good old time. Especially when she’s got to go back to that hunk of man-meat every night.

Consensus: Easy on the eyes with its beautiful production-designs, Maleficent proves to be a movie that’s a lot about what it seems to be on its lush-surface, but when one really gets down to it and digs a bit deeper under that said surface, there’s not much to be found. Just a waste of a great cast, most importantly, a more-than-willing Angelina Jolie.

5 / 10 = Rental!!

"Ugh. I can't believe she wore that to this party. Like what a betch."

“Ugh. I can’t believe she wore that to this. Like, what a betch.”

Photo’s Credit to: IMDBAceShowbiz

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19 responses to “Maleficent (2014)

  1. Mr. Movie May 30, 2014 at 5:06 am

    Great review, I think you essentially gave the picture the same criticisms as me!

  2. Mark Hobin May 30, 2014 at 5:34 am

    It’s basically a Disney cartoon brought to life with real people. Angelina Jolie really made this movie work. She’ incredible,.

  3. lukebbtt May 30, 2014 at 7:50 am

    “I think he is the one with the horns. Know what I mean?”

    Wait, Dan. Plural horns? What the hell is wrong with your anatomy haha?!

  4. paddylastinc May 30, 2014 at 9:36 am

    great read :)
    I loved the fact that it’s still kid-friendly haha. There’s a bit Frozen-ish about it but more importantly, I thought the visual’s really good.

  5. InfoJunkie May 30, 2014 at 11:11 am

    Love the review. We’re planning on watching it this weekend. Great point on the whole “about a man” thing, lol. It does seem that way.

  6. Wendell May 30, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    Only skimmed this review because I hope to see it soon. A little disappointed in the score, but I did like Snow White and the Huntsman when not many people did.

  7. Consumed by Film May 30, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    Great review Dan. Not sure what to make of this one having only seen the trailers, but I guess middle of the road ought to sound about right.

    Adam.

  8. cas (@caspinks) May 30, 2014 at 5:13 pm

    why is Hermione Corfield tagged in this? she wasn’t in the movie?

  9. angie chui May 31, 2014 at 12:23 am

    I loved the movie. There was no better actress than Jolie to bring Maleficent to life!

  10. angie chui May 31, 2014 at 12:30 am

    Sorry, I hit the post button prematurely, but you made great points in your review :D Great job! :D

  11. Jordan Richardson May 31, 2014 at 2:16 am

    Nice review, man. I can’t think of anything that upsets me more than a waste of Jolie, yet it seems to happen so often.

  12. Java Girl May 31, 2014 at 1:05 pm

    Saw it yesterday with my son and we both loved it! :-) It was fun to just sit back and enjoy it.

  13. Chris May 31, 2014 at 5:59 pm

    Nice review, Dan. This was a decent flick.

  14. Tom June 1, 2014 at 6:09 am

    Good review Dan, I’m really not sure if I’m going to end up seeing this one.

  15. feelingfuzzier June 1, 2014 at 1:56 pm

    I think 5/10 is pretty fair :) It’s a step-up from Oz, but still pretty forgettable in the long run.

  16. matthewjenner June 24, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    Great review! You hit all the right points, and very little can be nitpicked from your thoughts.

  17. Evan Crean July 20, 2014 at 4:00 pm

    I think I liked MALEFICENT a smidge more than you Dan. I was impressed by the film’s visuals too and thought the effects were extremely well-done. I concur though that they overshadow the story and that most of the other characters aside from Maleficent herself were pretty boring. Sam Riley came close to being great, but his character didn’t get much to work with. At least as an actor he made up for that with some great energy. Personally I enjoyed Jolie’s performance and think there was just the right amount of camp. There was a nice balance of seriousness for me. One thing I couldn’t stand was the obnoxious narration that was riddled with cliches and stilted language. I could have done without that.

  18. Pingback: » Movie Review – Maleficent Fernby Films

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