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Dan the Man's Movie Reviews

All my aimless thoughts, ideas, and ramblings, all packed into one site!

Bad Boys II (2003)


Are FBI agents really THIS gangsta with their speech?

8 years after they last joked around and solved crime together, Mike Lowrey (Will Smith) and Marcus Burnett (Martin Lawrence) are still cops in Miami. While Marcus has become something of a dedicated family man, Mike still sticks to his bachelor ways and doesn’t get too caught up in much, other than work, and keeping Marcus’ mind in check. But once Marcus’ sister (Gabrielle Union) shows up, Mike can’t contain himself and just has to go for it. However, he’s got to contain himself because he and Marcus have a job to do and isn’t going to be an easy one: Take down a powerful drug kingpin (Jordi Mollà), and find a way to do it without crossing too many boundaries to where it could practically be considered “illegal”. A little easier said then done, but these two dudes know what to do when it comes to getting rid of drug dealers off the streets, so nothing can stop them.

I know I’m going to get plenty of heat for the rest of this review, so I’m just going to come out right now and say it: I enjoyed Bad Boys II. No, I did not love it, and no, I do not disagree with anything, and I do mean ANYTHING, that the critics say about this movie. It’s a bad movie, but worst of all, it’s a Michael Bay movie so obviously you can’t expect anything smart, profound, or remotely intriguing to be happening on screen. All you have to do is expect that everything he filmed, was done so while he was under the influence of some insane-o drugs, and then you’ll be good. Anything else, well, then I’m ashamed to say it, but you have the wrong movie.

Who says "Black Men Can't Jump"? Answer is: Nobody, because they know they can.

Who says “Black Men Can’t Jump”? Answer is: Nobody, because they know they can.

That said, this movie is pretty damn bad and deserves most of the hate that its been getting for the past decade or so. Basically, there is no plot here, and there is no reason for this movie to exist. You get the feeling that Michael Bay not only made this movie so he would expand his wallet a bit more, but just so that he could go back to his roots and throw up a big middle-finger to the critics after he made the out-of-his-element Pearl Harbor. And you know what, that isn’t so bad because the guy’s good at action, if you like that type of style, however, he does indulge himself just a bit too much with the usual “Bay-isms“.

For instance, there’s plenty of misogyny to take a lick at. Take for example, Gabrielle Union’s character who happens to be a DEA Agent, which is good for her character and has her come off as a bad ass, but can’t do anything right. Anytime a situation or a deal goes wrong, she utterly panics and loses all sense of just what to do. It’s normal for a person to be like that, male or female, but this happens to her on 4 different occasions, and it makes you wonder just how the hell did she get the job in the first place. Also, on top of her sad-excuse-for-a-bad-ass-female character, there’s a plenty of T & A shots, as well as one in particular where the T just so happens to be seen coming from a dead corpse. And not only does Bay’s camera linger on it for awhile, it gets us right up in there, as if the female actress probably wasn’t comfortable enough taking a role from somebody who’s been compared to Hitler before, but now she’s got to worry about a crazy-ass mofo like Martin Lawrence all up in her business.

Poor gal, wonder what the hell happened to her career after this. Probably in an insane asylum somewhere, scarred from her “one, big break”.

And trust me, there’s plenty more wrong with this flick that we all expect to see, and usually still be angry with, when it comes to a Michael Bay flick. Not to mention the utterly-dreadful time-limit of 146 minutes, that doesn’t do the material any good, and makes it just feel as bloated and as repetitive as it already was before. You can tell that a lot of this needed to be cut-down and easily should have, but Bay pretty much knew that he couldn’t; not because he considers himself an “artist” per se, but because he probably saw all of the money that he and Jerry Bruckheimer spent on this freakin’ thing, and didn’t want a single penny of it to go to waste. In that general aspect: He’s a smart man, the type of smart man my dad would be proud of. However though, my dad is not a “movie critic”, so obviously he doesn’t care about a cohesive plot, compelling story-telling, smart characters, well-written dialogue, or the understanding of the laws of physics in an action film; he just wants loud, angry, booming, and fun violence, and I think that’s where my dad and I agree on the most with this movie.

Right before Will Smith was ordered to "treat her like the bad girl she is". Being in a Michael Bay flick, Will expected this.

Right before Will Smith was ordered to “treat her like the bad girl she is”. Being in a Michael Bay flick, Will expected this.

Wait a minute! Why the hell am I talking about my old man? This is me who’s typing. not that dude! Anyway, what I came to expect from this movie was none other than a big old bag of fun from Bay, and that’s pretty much what I got. The comedy is obvious and strained, but surprisingly had me laughing when it needed to; the action is over-the-top and nuts, but is also non-stop, and never lost the attention of my eyes or my mind; and the most surprising of all, I actually really enjoyed watching Will Smith and Martin Lawrence together.

Since the first Bad Boys, both stars branched-out on their owns, with Smith becoming a bigger star than Lawrence, mainly in action flicks, whereas Lawrence became something of a crazed-nut behind-the-scenes, yet still funny and popular due to his stand-up and the occasional Big Momma’s House flick. Yet, despite both of their careers heading in different directions, they both came together pretty well here and made the best out of the crap material they were working with. The rambling is over-played and makes you wonder what’s scripted, and what’s just them talking out of their asses, but you can’t help but be amused when two stars such as these, literally seem so pleasant and happy working with one another, that they’re whole heart and soul is put into just being together and goofing-around. Maybe I’m giving them, as well as this movie, a bit more credit then it deserves, but I know when fun is fun, and this, my friends: Is fun. There I said it. Now I’m ready to lose any loyal readers I had.

Consensus: No matter what anybody tries to shove down your throat (me included), Bad Boys II is a dumb movie that shouldn’t be watched if you want the finer things in the world of cinema, but if you know what to expect from Michael Bay, Martin Lawrence, and Will Smith, then you can’t help but feel like its done its job, despite you being in some serious need of brain-cells.

6.5 / 10 = Rental!!

"I feel like after this movie's done, one of our careers is going to down the crapper."

“I feel like after this movie’s done, one of our careers is going down the crapper.”

Photo’s Credit to: IMDB, AceShowbiz

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27 responses to “Bad Boys II (2003)

  1. ninvoid99 June 22, 2014 at 4:13 am

    This is still one of the worst films ever. In terms of the suckness that Bay has created. Pearl Harbor remains his crowning achievement as the worst film ever made. It is followed by Armageddon, this film, The Island, and all of the Transformers movies so far. He is Hitler.

  2. rgagne June 22, 2014 at 4:52 am

    I LOVE this movie! It was so much better then Bad Boys and is still funny even 11 years later. The car chases are the best parts and Lawrence and Smith have great chemistry together. I wish they would do a BBIII :(

  3. Kevan Lee June 22, 2014 at 9:20 am

    I really like all the trash talking done by Will Smith and also the jokes that they have in the show. Feel it is kinda good and refreshing. Not to mention the chemistry is darn good between them both. Too bad there isn’t part 3 :(.

  4. stephen1001 June 22, 2014 at 11:16 am

    Don’t worry Dan, my loyalty is still intact!
    I preferred the original but if you cut about 45 minutes of running time from this, it would probably be on par. Good Smith/Lawrence chemistry.
    Though since opening your post I have been singing the line “why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies” from Pearl Harbor Sucked and I miss you!

  5. chris2508 June 22, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    I don’t hate this movie nor do I love it. It’s not my cup of tea but I can see the appeal in a film were you can shut off the brain, not be bothered by the fact that it’s not plot-heavy etc but just enjoy the frequent explosions and by god are they frequent.

  6. Wendell June 22, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    I love this review. It perfectly sums up my feelings on Bad Boys II. I know everything that’s wrong with it, and hate much of Michael Bay’s catalog, but I can’t help enjoying myself watching it. It’s definitely a guilty pleasure for me.

  7. Tom June 22, 2014 at 9:17 pm

    I honestly didn’t know Bad Boys II had (has?) such an awful reputation. I mean, I know it’s made by Michael Bay and all, but what else do people expect with the combination of him, Smith and Lawrence in an action film? Although a 146 minute run-time sends up some flags for me. That is ridiculously long. This ain’t a Batman flick! It’s an action-comedy, and one I’ve been wanting to see for awhile. Still will.

    Good review

  8. thycriticman June 22, 2014 at 9:44 pm

    I got to agree with this! I mean…I don’t remember it being that long but I was too young to notice when I watched it. I actually remember when and where I seen this one. And that I had a good time with it! Sometimes professional critics needs to lighten up!

  9. Mike June 23, 2014 at 2:55 am

    I’ve learned to take anything made by Michael Bay with the grain of salt. Most, if not all, his movies are pretty bad but they’re still entertaining which in my opinion makes a good movie. There are other film directors out there who released true masterpieces, if I wanted a serious movie I’d watch one of them. If I wanted something to waste 2 hours with a bucket of popcorn I’ll play Bad Boys or Transformers. Right on with your review.

    • CMrok93 June 24, 2014 at 10:17 pm

      Thanks, Mike! Those are my exact feelings, although I do think that Transformers 2 is a piece of absolute garbage that I wish was never made. That’s about it for me, though.

  10. bookshelfbattle June 23, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    Amazing how time goes by so fast because I remember seeing this in the theater and thinking, “Um, this movie is going on for too long, is it ever going to end?!”

    It starts out strong and there are some funny moments and good action sequences, it jumps the shark when they go to Cuba and go on a wild chase where they are crashing through shacks and shanties. I know you’re not supposed to think about it but I was thinking, “Hey, they’re driving a Hummer through poor peoples’ houses!”

    Fun blog, I mostly write about books but I occasionally talk about movies and TV. Feel free to check me out at:

    http://www.bookshelfbattle.com

  11. jeffro517 June 24, 2014 at 4:09 am

    Nicely written. I think this one fell short of the first film.

  12. 55theintimidator55 June 27, 2014 at 12:50 am

    I love the Bad Boys movies and I don’t feel like they’re bad at all. Lawrence and Smith are a great duo and Bay always exceeds expectations with his action shots.

  13. Ben July 21, 2014 at 10:10 pm

    I actually quite liked this film too. It’s nowhere near as good as the first but does manage to hold some of the Bad Boys magic.

  14. Pingback: » Movie Review – A Bug’s Life Fernby Films

  15. Pingback: » Movie Review – Bad Boys II Fernby Films

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