Dan the Man's Movie Reviews

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Tag Archives: Sylvester Stallone

Rocky II (1979)

15 Comments Posted by on March 12, 2013

“Yo Adriaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!! I’m baaaaaaaackkk!!”

Beginning right where the first left off, Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) marries Adrian (Talia Shire) and promises never to fight again. But when the two run into a bunch of moolah-problems and find out that Rocky can’t make a living any other way, he agrees to a rematch with heavyweight champ Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers), who wants to prove Rocky going the distance with him in their first match was nothing more than a fluke. However, there’s more skill and smarts in Rocky, but also in Apollo. Ding ding ding!

Much like other films such as Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, and plenty other flicks, Rocky may have been a classic film by all-means, but it’s reputation still gets hurt a bit by the endless need of unnecessary sequels that were made after the original. It’s already been six movies later, and I think it’s safe to say that everybody, and their mothers have had it up to here with Rocky, Adrian, Paulie, and all of the other, over-the-top villains they could pick-up next. Thankfully, this one didn’t do too much to ruin the legacy, but instead: just repeated it. Doesn’t hurt, but doesn’t help much either.

Rather than bringing the awesome John G. Avildsen back to the director’s chair, Stallone takes his own shot (pun intended) at writing and directing this flick and it isn’t as bad as you would imagine from this big baffoon. Stallone redoes everything here that we saw and loved from the first one, but this time, adds a little bit more drama and character development to it. I liked that approach because it not only showed us just how Rocky would grow-up as a father and a husband, but also as a guy that’s trying to make a living with whatever he can do other than knocking out other dudes. You never know what it’s like for these dudes after they hit their peak and realize that they have to live in the real-world, with real families, real people, and make real money, so that was pretty interesting to see from a sequel that was all about the hustle, the bustle, and the glam of being a pro-boxer and being stuck in that world. There’s also more development between Rocky and Adrian and it’s sweet to see, as we all know that they love each other, but never fully got the sense of it until now. It’s great to see them live together, inter-act with one another, and try their hardest to live in a nice home and not chop each other’s neck’s off. It’s a hard thing to do as a married-couple, but it can work.

It was getting relatively close to the 80's, so red head-bands seemed reasonable by then.

It was getting relatively close to the 80′s, so red head-bands seemed reasonable by then.

Then again, this direction isn’t anything all that special because it’s basically the same, exact movie, just done again with more character development. This wasn’t something that bothered me as much but it didn’t really offer me up any surprises that much either. You could practically put this and the original back-to-back and not really notice a difference at all: Rocky starts off like a bum, then focuses on jobs, then focuses on Adrian, then gets ready for the big fight *cue training montage*, and then the big fight at the end. That’s pretty much the same formula done for both movies and it seemed like a lazy-job on Sly’s part, mainly because we all know what happens, and aren’t thrown many surprises or curve balls to take us off-guard.

It was also kind of a problem that I didn’t really feel any true tension or excitement going into the big rematch with Creed, I was sort of just like: “ehhhh”. The first movie, regardless as to whether or not you actually saw it when it first came out, was a movie that people were just hyping up and up and up for those last 15 minutes, all because of the big fight. Not only was it bloody, gruesome, and ultra-violent, but it was also very unpredictable as nobody had any clue whatsoever as to who the hell was going to pull this off in the end. However, it’s pretty obvious where Sly is going to go with this story, which makes it even more obvious as to who the winner is going to be. I get that you don’t see these types of flicks to see something terribly new or original, considering that it’s all been done before, but you gotta give me something to chew-on here, or I’m going to lose my leg. Don’t know what that is even supposed to mean, but just go with it for now.

As much as the movie’s final-bout may not be as invigorating or compelling as the first’s, it still helps the movie gain some much-needed steam and end in the sort of way we’d be happy to cheer on. The ending fight in the first flick was a lot better, but this one still stands on its own two feet with a lot of close-calls that actually kept me on-the-edge of my seat, even though it’s pretty obvious you know what’s going to happen. It’s a good fight and definitely brought a lot more energy to the end of the film, but it was almost a bit too late in the movie to play up. Then again, it was entertaining so I’ll give it that.

No matter what though, Sylvester Stallone is definitely the main reason to see this flick because he does everything he did as Rocky in the first movie, and adds a lot more sincerity and heart onto him here. Stallone is such a likable character that the whole 1 hour and 59 time-limit could have been dedicated to him just making corny jokes to Adrian and slurring every single sentence, which he does show a lot of that here, but once he starts to hit the emotional moments, it may actually take you by surprise. Stallone has never been a Oscar-caliber actor by any means, but he definitely shows that he has the chops to pull off plenty emotional moments and have you believe in him as his character learns more about life. But like the rest of the movie, you could pretty much say that about the first one, just with a few more added-elements.

Deja vu maybe?

Deja vu maybe?

As for the rest of the cast, they’re all fine and pretty much doing the same thing they were doing with the first, just a tad different this time-around. Just a tad, mind you. Talia Shire is great to watch as Adrian as her and Rocky inter-act with one another and figure-out ways to get their marriage to work. The two have good chemistry and shines through in almost every moment they share the screen. Carl Weathers bothered the heck out of me with the first one, but does a fine job here as he keeps that annoying, showmanship-thang going on, but still gets to the human-aspect of his character as well. Ain’t so bad once the guy dials it all down, I see. Burgess Meredith is yelling at Rocky again and having a ball doing so, and Burt Young is being a drunk d-bag, that beats-up his sister, makes d-bag jokes, and bothers the hell out of Rocky. The typical, Philadelphian-bum. Gotta love ‘em.

Consensus: Rocky II has the same heart, look, feel, and entertainment from the original classic, but that’s just it: it’s practically the same movie. Yeah, it’s more character-based and features development of those said characters as they move-on with their lives, but it isn’t anything special when you take into consideration how land-mark and iconic the original was, where this just seems to cash-in on that name and love. Sadly, it would continue on for a couple more years, only to be deceased by Sly himself. Thank heavens for that.

6.5 / 10 =Rental!!

So. Many. Autographs!

Beautiful shot of the city I love, and a bunch of people running away from it. Oh, sweet, sweet Philadelphia.

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1970s, 6-6.5/10, Movies , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dredd 3D (2012)

27 Comments Posted by on September 21, 2012

Imagine if it was this guy beating Rodney King.

The story takes place in a violent, futuristic city named Mega City One where the police have the authority to act as judge, jury and executioner, a cop named Dredd (Karl Urban) teams with a trainee (Olivia Thirlby) to take down a gang that deals the reality-altering drug, SLO-MO (lead by Lena Headey).

Maybe I’m alone on this boat but I have never ever seen the 1995 Sylvester Stallone original, so I went into this flick with a pretty open-mind, expecting good, bloody things, even if the trailer didn’t do much for me. Now that I’ve seen this, I don’t even think I need to bother with the original. Sorry Sly! I gave you all of my money a month ago!

Another reason besides the trailer, as to why this film didn’t do much for me was because it’s directed by Pete Travis, aka the dude who did the political Groundhog Day, Vantage Point a couple of years back and we all know how that crap turned out. However, the guy actually brings out a certain type of fun, but controlled energy that it seems like this source material needed in the first-place. Since this is an R-rated action flick, you can expect all sorts of action, violence, blood, and guts shooting at the screen, (in fine 3D, may I add) but this time is used with a grittier edge. Actually, a very grittier edge as I don’t think I have ever really felt the need to take a shower from watching a movie in awhile but it adds to the whole look and feel of this flick.

You also can’t help but love how Travis seems like he knows his audience this time around and doesn’t ever seem to alienate them by giving them a cheesy subplot to flesh these characters out, or give them any heartfelt emotional breakthrough that doesn’t seemed deserved. No, the guy sticks straight to the violence and blood, and actually lets loose a couple of funny, but dead-pan one-liners hit you when you least expect it. Sometimes I even missed it because everybody in the theater that I was at with just started howling and I don’t know what happened there. As for all of the political themes that apparently translates from the comics themselves, I couldn’t really find much but you can tell that a lot of this talks about the world we may be fore-seeing due to high-levels of violence and crime running rampant throughout the streets. It’s pretty obvious, but not as heavy-handed as most movies, let alone action ones, that use the same premise and idea.

Where I think that this film sort of screwed itself up with was how the action never really came full-force for me. Yeah, there’s a bunch of cool scenes where people are getting their heads blown-up to pieces and a couple of sweet slo-mo scenes that look even cooler when somebody’s getting shot, but it all happens in a spread-apart fashion that sort of takes away the intensity that this film could have really had. It’s not a slow movie by any means, it just doesn’t really pick up the full head of steam that you thought it would and ends up being a film that follows the pattern of “short burst of action, follow plot. short burst of action, follow plot.” This goes on the whole film and even though I was never bored with it, I couldn’t help but wish they added more action to the mix.

Also, where the hell was that final, big shoot-out? Now, I’m no full-on lover of action movies but when I see an action movie that has such promise between two opposing forces like this one here, you think there’d be some final show-down where both go at it like no other. We do sort of get that, but it happens in a way that’s a bit anti-climactic to the point of where I was reminded of the last showdown in Gangs of New York, where there is all this set-up, all of this hype, and all of this suspense, and it ends up just doing nothing, really.

Despite the action, the plot also could have been a bit more wild and crazy, but also a bit more believable in it’s strange way. The reason I say this is because you’d think with all of the people that are going after Dredd and the rookie, that they would have a hell of a lot harder time getting to the top and killing Ma-Ma, but that’s not really the case. Somehow, someway, without giving too much away, they get to where they need to go pretty easily and it sort of ties into the whole action-element of this flick to where I felt like they really needed to give it an extra-dosage of extreme and wild action to make it all the more exciting. Still, this is a bit of nit-pick if I must say.

It was reported that Karl Urban had been wanting to play this character for the longest time, and 9 times out of 10, that usually means it’s going to be a passion project, by a certain star, that nobody else really shares the same passion with. That 1 time out of 10 is actually what we have here as Urban seems to have a lot of fun playing the straight-laced, vicious, dead-pan hero, Judge Dredd. Granted, Urban isn’t doing anything other than killing people, making serious one-liners, and talking with the same growl that Clint Eastwood had back in his glory days, but he owns it and makes this character a pretty kick-ass one that makes you know when he shows up, shit’s going to get fucked up for sure. It also helps that the costume is really, really cool.

Olivia Thirlby seemed like a strange choice to have in an action film, but she actually does a good job with it because I think that is her whole act here. She isn’t a sadistic and violent mofo like Dredd, instead, she’s a lot more compassionate towards her victims and likes to think about what’s right and what’s wrong with certain people and situations, which causes her and Dredd to actually create a cool chemistry. It was also cool to see this action flick have a chick as the villain here and Lena Headey does a marvelous job at playing the villain, a drug-lord named Ma-Ma, who is just as sadistic and violent as Dredd but instead, is on the opposite side of the law. Headey is good here because she doesn’t over-play the role and is a lot more subtle with it, using her scarred-look to convey some sick and evil ideas that could possibly be on her mind. Nothing spectacular, but at least it wasn’t over-the-top crazy like I was expecting from her, no offense ladies. Also, it was great to see Wood Harris have some juicy screen-time as one of Ma-Ma’s right-hand man that seems to be having a lot of fun with this material, as well. Been awhile since I’ve seen that guy in a prominent role and I’m glad to see him in one here.

Consensus: Though it doesn’t fully satisfy in terms of action, Dredd 3D is still a fun, bloody, and R-rated piece of entertainment that benefits from a gritty look and good performances from a strange, but well-cast group of stars.

7.5/10=Rental!!

2010s, 7-7.5/10, Movies , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Expendables 2 (2012)

29 Comments Posted by on August 19, 2012

Finally, they got tired of the retirement home and decided to fight back.

Hot off their latest mission, Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) and his ragtag team of mercenaries are pulled right back in the game when Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) presents them with a new assignment. It should be easy—to travel to Albania and retrieve a briefcase carrying a blueprint of a plutonium mine. The villain named Vilain (Jean-Claude Van Damme), isn’t exactly quaking in his boots, but he probably should be. There is exactly no chance whatsoever Barney will allow him to escape with his life.

I know I’m going to catch a lot of hot water for this but I actually liked the first Expendables. I thought it had awesome action, an ensemble cast of action stars that I missed seeing on the big-screen, and provided me with enough laughs to even everything else out. Yeah, the story may have been terribly lame and the action wasn’t non-stop, but at least it was fun and that’s more than I can say about plenty other Summer, action blockbusters that came out in 2010. Thankfully, with more back-up and some new faces, this sequel does a whole lot better and keeps everything moving in just the right way.

Since being writer, director, producer, and the main star of the original one proved to be too much for him, Stallone decided to take it easy on this one and allow Simon West to take over the director duties and what a great decision that was! Going into this film, I wanted action, action, action, and well, more action, and that is exactly what I got from West’s direction. In the first 10 minutes of this flick, we get a huge, loud, and explosive set piece that shows the guys running around, shooting and killing people while dropping corny one-liners for fun and to be honest, it got me in the mood for what I was about to get for the rest of the movie. It was also a surprise to see a lot of wide shots used for the action as well as some nifty editing tricks to where we could actually the action as it happened.

There is a story to be had here, but in all honesty, who gives a shit about that when you got these guys! There’s a whole lot of mayhem to be seen here and everybody here takes total and complete advantage of that and makes this flick seem like it was a lot more deserved in the action department, than the first one. I wanted loud, insane, crazy, and intense action and for the most part, West delivered on that and sort of gave me the old-school action movie feeling I wanted with the first one but instead, only got here once he put his magical touch on it. It also helps that these guys seem like they’re all having the times of their lives making this movie, and you can’t help but feel the same exact thing and join in on the festivities. That’s all I wanted, and that’s all I got and for that, I am very thankful.

However, as fun and action-packed as this movie may have been, there were still some quibbles I had with it in that department. All of the action seemed to happen with just guns and explosives. We do actually get a couple of fist-fights here and there, but it seemed like they cheated out on that mainly because the guys are getting a little too old to be flying around, simulating beating the crap out of one another. I guess after Stallone broke his neck during filming in the first one, they decided to settle down on that aspect, but it still worked none the less despite all of my bitching.

You also can’t help but laugh unintentionally at this film at times, too. There is a story here so I guess I shouldn’t be complaining too much but where it was going, how it was going, and why it was going there all seemed a bit cheap for my tastes and it gets very sentimental at one part, for which I didn’t even really care about. Let me just say this without spoiling anything, a character gets killed off in the beginning and it’s pretty obvious and doesn’t make a difference one bit. It sort of just happens and we don’t care which is kind of a bummer considering these are characters and performers we should love and care about, especially when their lives may be in one degree of danger. That rarely happens in action movies like these but let’s just forget about those conventions and try to suspend reality for a bit.

The ensemble for the first flick was great, but this one, well, it’s even better where we finally get to see some of the most iconic and popular action stars in one, big, action orgy. It’s a pretty neat thing to see, especially when they are all at the top of their game as well. Sylvester Stallone does a great job as the core of the film, and still looks fit and clean to the point of where you could imagine him not only having the brains, but also the guns (both kinds of guns) to kick anybody’s ass; Jason Statham plays Jason Statham, and it’s probably the best type of role he can play out there and that’s all that matters to me; Dolph Lundgren was hilarious and steals probably half of the scenes he’s in just being the normal, goofy, Swedish dude we all know and sometimes love him for; Nan Yu brings some estrogen to the mix and does a fine job of holding her own when it comes to kicking ass and taking names; Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all back for what seem to be extended cameos, but still get the chance to mow down some mothaeffa’s and sprinkle out some awesome one-liners that show them exactly why they were so requested for this movie; and let’s not forget about Chuck Norris. ‘Nuff said about that.

Everybody else that I didn’t mention is pretty much in the background but still does their own thing, which is good, but the real star of this whole cast is probably the ultimate return of Jean-Claude Van Damme in a major, action blockbuster. It’s been awhile since Van Damme has been in anything this big before and it’s a great return-t0-form for this dude because he still does all of the same awesome shit that we loved him for before. He’s still got the signature kicks in him, still oozes the charisma that makes him such a watchable presence in the first place, still is in great shape, and still can play somebody that we hate so damn much, but yet, we can’t get enough of. In my opinion, Van Damme stole the show for me and I hope that this gets his name out there once again and brings him back to the major, Hollywood blockbusters he at one point owned every time.

Consensus: While it doesn’t win any points in its character development, emotional story, or incredibly original writing, The Expendables 2 wins mucho points in providing plenty of kick-ass action, a look at some of the greatest action stars in the biz, and a fun time at the movie theaters that gives us one last bang for the Summer. Sucks to say it, but it’s just about over people and what a way to go out.

8/10=Matinee!!

2010s, 8-8.5/10, Movies , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters (2007)

17 Comments Posted by on August 1, 2012

That’s it! I’m going to my local arcade and going to do something with my life!

This is a documentary that follows Steve Wiebe as he tries to take the world high score for the arcade game Donkey Kong from reigning champion Billy Mitchell. The catch is though, maybe Billy isn’t quite the champion we thought he was in the first place.

People reading this now, probably aren’t getting too crazy about seeing a documentary about a bunch of grown-ass men playing each other in video games, which is alright because not everybody loves video games. However, that’s what really made this connect with me because it appealed to me in a way that I never thought was imaginable.

A lot of the credit for this film has to be chalked up to director Seth Gordon‘s amazing skills of capturing everything as it happened here on tape. There isn’t any real manipulation here that we see in so many other documentaries, everything happens in a believable way mainly because of the people in this film are so goofy and out-there, that he couldn’t have written any of these characters in the first place. We get a lot of glimpses into this world of gaming where we see people lose sleep and their jobs over getting the world record for a video game and it’s very bizarre but it also carries a great amount of sincerity to it as well. Gordon doesn’t really take any cheap-shots as these gaming nerds and even when it seems like he is, he’s not really trying to do that since some of these dudes are able to make them look like asses themselves.

Take for instance, Billy Mitchell, aka the self-renowned king of Donkey Kong. This dude won the world-record for Donkey Kong all the way back in 1982 and hasn’t once shown up in a public area to play and defend his record. However, this still allows him to walk around like his shit don’t stick, find any manipulative, lame-ass way he can find to keep his record/legacy going, and talks about how “in order to prove you’re the best, you have to show up in public places to do so”, something that his jerky-ass does not do at all. This guy is a total dick and at-first, I didn’t think he was so bad of a dude until I realized just how much a little girl he would act whenever a challenge against his record would ever come up. Gordon doesn’t try his hardest to make this dude look bad, the dude looks like an asshole as it is and I think that’s one of the main reasons why this film works so well is because it gives us somebody to root against.

Oh and let me not forget to mention that the guy that we are given to root for is probably the most likable dude out there, named Steve Wiebe. This guy has more heart with video games than I think I could ever have with anything (yes, even this) and he shows it throughout this whole flick by traveling miles and miles to beat records in public places, showing the kindness and grace to all of the other fellow gamers that look down on him, and by the end of the day, still considering himself a dude who just likes to enjoy playing video games. He still somehow gets in second place every time though and it makes us root him on more just so we can see Mr. Mitchell look the horses ass that he truly is. Steve Wiebe, you are a man amongst men. Or at least a gamer amongst gamers everywhere.

These two different types of dudes also sets up an awesome rivalry along the lines of Rocky vs. Apollo Creed. We always hear these two guys talk about each other and talk about what they would do if they ever got to meet and play each other in real-life, and it really sets up a lot of tension for the whole flick. I don’t want to give anything away about how they meet and what happens when they meet, but what I will say is that I was on the edge of my seat throughout this whole flick and I don’t know how that it was even humanly possible. I mean I love video games (even though I haven’t played my XBOX 360 in almost two years), but this movie made me want to go back out there and put a couple of quarters in Pac-Man and try my luck of beating the high score, which is probably my dad’s score. That bastard.

If there is one complaint I have to say about this flick is that it is a little jumpy at the beginning. The film starts off with Billy Mitchell and his records, then goes on to tell the stories about the feuds he had with a couple of people, then tells the story of Steve, and then for some reason, goes back-and-forth between that and the history of the gaming association their apart of. Yes, they are all stories that deserved to be told but it was in too much of a sloppy way. However, this didn’t last long because if it did, it would have become a real nuisance after awhile.

Consensus: Even if you have never touched a video game in your entire life, you will love The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters because it has a great story to it, gets an inside look at some very strange people (even though, I’m no cooler), and actually has a lot of tension to it where you feel like all hell is going to break loose between the professional and the under-dog at any second.

9/10=Definitely Watch It!!

2000s, 9-9.5/10, Movies , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Bellflower (2011)

13 Comments Posted by on January 5, 2012

Your typical story of boy-meets-girl, boy-loses-girl, boy-then-starts-lighting-everything-on-fire.

This is the story of Woodrow (Evan Glodell) who has a best-friend named Aiden (Tyler Dawson), and both get ready for an apocalypse to hit with their own flame-throwers, cool gang clothes, and cool revved up car named “Mother Medusa”. Woodrow also starts to fall in love with a girl named Milly (Jessie Wiseman), and that’s where the shit really starts to stir.

Right from the start of this flick we get this fun, mumble core-like, buddy comedy that seems like it’s a fun date movie because it’s all about hanging out with your bestie and finding that loved one. However, one of the main curve balls that we are thrown in this film, is that it all starts fade away pretty quickly and turn into something I was not expecting in the least bit.

The film may be advertised as two dudes prepping themselves for the apocalypse but it’s more about the anti-love story this film has as well. What starts off as cute and cuddly romance between two strangers that meet at a cock-roach eating contest, turns into something that hurts, causes sadness, causes pain, and most of all causes our main dude, Woodrow to go effin’ insane. The fact that this guy gets hurt so painfully and goes through the problems that he goes through, really seems believable. It was also totally refreshing to see a dude not just look at this as a “new-beginning” and be all happy-go-lucky about it all, and instead be pissed, angry, violent, and downright hurt by everything. These are how real people feel when somebody toys with their emotions and if there’s any reason why men/women should not do such a thing, is just because you never know if somebody will go off and light everything on fire.

This film starts out as sweet but then drops right into downright dark territory, and it didn’t bother me that the film felt like doing this because it seemed realistic. One minute love can have you flying all-over-the-place, happy as a bird, but then the next minute it can make you feel like the world blows and that you just want to hurt someone or something and the way this film shows that hurt feels genuine rather than just random. We feel for these characters early on in the flick so that when all of this evil ish starts to happen to them we feel something towards them and everything that’s going on. With every little plot-twist comes every little amount of honesty that is easy to relate to, even as devastating and crushing as some of it may be.

The one kudos to be given out for this film working out so perfectly goes towards director/writer/star Evan Glodell who made a film that cost almost $17,000 to make, and is something that he practically did all by himself. Everything you see in this film is thanks to him and when I mean everything, I do mean his one-of-a-kind camera. Glodell makes L.A. look like the dirtiest, most slimiest, and most raunchiest place to look at just by using this camera that he apparently invented from a whole bunch of other camera parts. This gives the film a distinct look with its saturated colors and overall dirty glow that fits well with the story, especially when the tone does a total 180 with everything going from good, to bad, and then to worse. I also have never watched a movie that made me want to literally pop into the story with a wash rag, soap, and a hose and just give these people some showers. I mean Christ almighty!

My one problem with this film may seem a little strange at first but it honestly cannot go unnoticed. Everybody in this flick has their own houses (shitty ones at that), buys their own brewskies, drives their own cool muscle cars, and even creates their own flame-throwers, so the one thing that kept going through my mind the whole time was when did any of these damn people actually work? It may sound strange that this was the main thing that really bothered me but honestly, these people would go about their day doing just about nothing but somehow buy all of this shit when you don’t see or even hear them talking about work and getting their pay-checks. 1970′s muscle cars and flame-throwers aren’t cheap so they definitely had to be getting their moolah somewhere.

A while back when I reviewed ‘Rocky’, I talked about Stallone’s performance and how I felt like I was watching a real-person up on-screen rather than just another character. Well the weird thing to say is that for some reason, Glodell’s performance as Woodrow feels like the Italian Stallion’s as well in a totally different and weirder way. Woodrow is this happy, smiley, shy, and lovable dude that seems like an endearing dude that doesn’t mean any harm, other than to just meet a girl of his dreams. However, when that dream turns into a nightmare, his descent into a total mad-man feels real as if Goldell isn’t even acting in the first place and that he was actually pissed off himself. This guy is a strong-ass character, without us ever really getting to know him all that well other than the fact that he’s hurt and is damn sad about everything, which makes it easier to root him on the whole time. This guy not only shows his talents behind the camera for the whole hour and 45 minutes, but also shows that he has a real talent in front as well.

Tyler Dawson is also a lot of fun to watch his big-buddy, Aiden, and shows a lot of great comedic timing that usually comes easily with these “happy-dude” roles. Jessie Wiseman also deserves a lot of love for her performance for the apple of Woodrow’s eye, Milly, who is downright charming and likable from the start but soon turns into this chick that we did not expect and it’s a real great showcase for Wiseman’s talents as an actress as she does a lot here that many actresses probably would have not been able to do genuinely enough. I think everybody involved with this film has a very bright future ahead of them and I hope that this one puts them on the map and gets them all more roles. I’ll be looking for them.

Consensus: Bellflower starts off with a happy, little fairytale of love that soon turns into a dark, twisted, and borderline evil nightmare that has a distinct look, a script that covers a lot of ground without ever losing its direction, and a genuine and relatable feel that will shock some while providing solace to others knowing that they aren’t the only ones who just want to blow everything up when their heart is broken. Evan Glodell is definitely a talent to watch.

9/10=Full Price!!

2000s, 9-9.5/10, Movies , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rocky (1976)

19 Comments Posted by on December 31, 2011

This is why I’m proud to be a Philadelphian.

When world heavyweight boxing champ Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers) wants to give an unknown fighter a shot at the title as a publicity stunt, his handlers pick palooka Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone), an uneducated collector for a Philadelphia loan shark. Rocky doesn’t have much going for himself, except his girl-friend Adrian (Talia Shire), until he starts to pick up some steam with this fight up ahead.

Whenever anybody thinks about ‘Rocky’, most just say that they love the first but the others really ruined its legacy. I don’t know where I stand because even though I appreciate all of them, except for ‘Rocky V’ because Tommy Gunn was a puss, I can’t fully remember the last time I actually watched them all. Now after seeing the first one, I want to go back.

The main reason why this film works so well and only gets better and better with age is because of one thing and one thing only: under-dog story. Americans, Canadians, Japanese, Chinese, Yellow, Orange, Periwinkle, basically all people love these kinds of stories because it’s like a fairy-tale that gives hope to anybody out there who thinks they can’t do something special, but when they look at a dude like Rocky, they realize they can.

Rocky is the perfect example of your average, every-day guy who one days gets his shot at being big and absolutely takes it. He’s not a superhero with a big red cape or a knight in shining armor on a horse, he’s just a dude who considers himself a “bum”, drinks 5 raw eggs in the morning for breakfast (tried it before and it tastes terrible), walks around Philly at night talking to everybody while throwing some jokes around, and goes down to the meat-shop to knock on some meat. Rocky is the everyman that we all love and care about and it’s so hard not to like him considering you could probably find a guy right down your street that’s just like him. Well, that is without the boxing career but then again you never know.

The direction from John G. Avildsen and the screenplay from Stallone himself just comes together perfectly almost like peanut butter and jelly. Avildsen is a guy who’s movies I haven’t really seen all that much of but he gives this fairly low-key approach that has a lot of grittiness and dark elements to it but it’s still entertaining as hell to watch, especially when you know where the hell Rocky is throughout the whole film. I’m not sure how he won Best Director that year because even though I thought it was a good direction, it wasn’t anything spell-binding like so many other films that year.

When it comes to the script though, then we have something to really talk about. Everything in this film seems like real people actually talking and even though there is the usual schmaltz and predictability to the whole approach, it still doesn’t feel like a cheat. There is a perfect mixture of drama, romance, humor, and sports that comes together perfectly where one moment you could really feel something for Rocky and these other characters, but then you could be laughing your ass off the next moment when Rocky is making jokes about not knowing how to talk to a door. It also helps that just about everything in this film is so damn memorable and the only reason why we see so much of the same shit used nowadays is because at the time, this was so original and I will definitely have to call you a liar if you say you didn’t feel like trying hit a boxing bag after watching that awesome training montage.

Speaking of Sylvester Stallone, it’s pretty obvious that his performance as Rocky is just about perfect considering it’s the one that should have given him the Oscar that year and basically kicked off his career, but it’s a lot better because of the finer details that lie within his portrayal. The script, as I have already stated, is perfect but that’s also a lot of thanks to Stallone for not hamming it up once as this total meat-head. Rocky is of course the dude that has bigger muscles than a brain, but he’s still a lovable guy that jokes around with everyone and with Stallone, what you see is just about what you get from him. The whole time I could feel like Stallone was just being himself, almost as if everything was improvised because when he’s emotional, it’s not corny or overly sentimental, and when he’s just talking out of his ass, it feels like he’s saying whatever hits him first. It all works and I also have to give a lot of props to Stallone considering half of the shit he does here when it comes to training, I could have never done. Except for the claps in between one-handed push-ups, I do them every morning I wake up…

Let’s also not forget the rest of the cast of characters that easily made this film lovely no matter where the story went. Talia Shire is great as Rocky’s man squeeze, Adrian, and the scenes her and Rocky have (especially the ice-rink scene) all feel real and genuine; Burgess Meredith is awesome as Rocky’s trainer, Micky, and is an absolute riot just about every time he’s up on screen; and Burt Young is great as the worst best friend in the world, Paulie. The one performance I was surprised that really annoyed me was actually Carl Weathers as Apollo Creed. I don’t know why but I just felt like this guy was trying so hard to be Muhammed Ali impersonator that it just got annoying after awhile but then again when you have a cocky, black world-heavyweight champion of boxing, it’s hard to not act like one of “the greatest”.

Consensus: Rocky is a perfect film for anybody who ever believes that they have what it takes because of it’s perfect screenplay, genuine performances from everybody involved, and just the overall good and happy feeling that this film will give you once you start to here Rocky yelling out “ADRIAAAAAN!”.

9.5/10=Full Price!!

Happy New Year’s Everybody!!

1970s, 9-9.5/10, Movies , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Antz (1998)

Leave a Comment Posted by on August 30, 2011

Now I’m going to leave a lot more crumbs on the ground now.

So, here we go again! Another great day and week at Boomtron! Go over and check this one out, let me know how you feel, and basically just give me some love like all you homies did on the last one.

Click on the link here:

http://www.boomtron.com/2011/08/antz-movie-review/

Feedback is much appreciated! Thanks everybody! Enjoy your Tuesday!

1990s, 7-7.5/10, Movies , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Tango & Cash (1989)

8 Comments Posted by on January 27, 2011

If these two were actual cops in real life, the world would be a safer place.

When Ray Tango (Sylvester Stallone) and Gabe Cash (Kurt Russell) are framed and wind up in prison, they’re tortured by the thugs of the drug lord who put them there. But watch out — the partners are sure to escape and exact revenge.

The 80′s was a special time for big-budget, action comedies like this. And for two stars of this genre to be in one movie, is a dream come true for any huge fan of this genre.

For me, I’m not a huge lover on this genre, but I will watch some movies that are like that, just for a good time and to enjoy myself. This film has a lot of that fun to enjoy yourself. The action is comes at you right away, and doesn’t really stop coming. There are loud explosions, guns blasting, people dying, punches, kicks, and this all equals up to you having fun.

However, this script is sosososo dumb. It tries way too hard to be cool, hip, and funny so they just keep on bringing cheesy one-liners to this film. Some one-liners work, others don’t but the fact of the matter is, is that they use too many for the sake of being funny, and by doing that, just make it annoying and less funny.

I did like seeing Stallone and Russell paired together as the opposites-attract, buddy pair. They both play well off each other, and actually make a lot of the bad lines, better cause of their machoness, as well as their comedic timing. They also both play riffs on characters they have played in the past, and that actually works cause who doesn’t like seeing some major film figures make fun of themselves? Exactly. Also, who doesn’t want to watch Jack Palance as the main bad guy, delivering lines so bad, that they would make

Consensus: Tango & Cash tries too hard to be cool, and funny, but fails at doing so, instead is a fun, action comedy, with two of the best action stars playing off each other well. Put this in the “so bad, it’s good” category.

5/10=Rental!!

1980s, 5-5.5/10, Movies , , , ,

The Expendables (2010)

11 Comments Posted by on September 16, 2010

It’s like a family reunion, except with more explosions, and steroids.

Barney (Sylvester Stallone) leads a ragtag band of hired guns charged with overthrowing a South American despot, a job no official military unit is willing to touch. But once on the ground, the team learns there’s more to the mission than they were told. Their next move determines whether they survive — or are, indeed, expendable.

Ever since I heard of this films first being talked about last year, I was instantly already pumped for this to actually come out. I was a big fan of the action films, that took over the 80′s and early 90′s, and seeing all my favorites on the big screen, is like my fantasy (no homo).

The film’s plot is how should I say, just terrible. There is plenty of plot holes that doesn’t quite explain a whole lot about the story, and it does not make any sense as it goes on even longer. Also, the screenplay isn’t terribly written but at times it does feel a bit lazy. The jokes are some what funny, but the film tries to be dramatic at times, and it doesn’t work, and is just pretty weak.

But that’s not what this film is all about, it’s all about guns, killing people, explosions, knives, shootings, more explosions, and by the end of it all, laughing it all off, and having a good time. For the most part, the action was awesome. There was defiantly plenty of action to satisfy all action lovers needs, but I just wish there was more than what I was given. The beginning, and the final 35 minutes deliver on the action very well, but I can’t quite say the same for the middle parts. Overall, the action was great to watch, and for once I could actually see what was going on, instead of having to be totally confused, because of the constant swerving of the camera.

The ensemble cast had me first interested because it has all of my favorites from the era of those action films, as well as some other ones. However, it doesn’t use all of them to their full potential, instead the film is more focused on Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, and Jet Li, while everybody else is sort of just side characters for the story. However, all three are good and bring a lot to the screen, and when their not killing people, they have great times on screen together. Others in the cast that are good when their on screen is, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, Randy Couture, Dolph Lundgren, and Stone Cold Steve Austin. The main villain here is portrayed by Eric Roberts, who I think knows that he shouldn’t be taken seriously, cause I really couldn’t with this film as a bad guy, but if that was the type of performance he was channeling, than he does a great job with it. There are also two good cameos from Bruce Willis, and the guy that hasn’t been around forever, that’s right bitches, the Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger. It isn’t the greatest cameo ever in the world of cinema, but it’s always good to see a long lost action hero, back on screen.

Consensus: The Expendables, may have a bad plot, and problems with its script, but it does provide plenty of the action it promised, and the cast still does provide plenty of fun for everybody.

7/10=Rental!!!

2000s, 7-7.5/10, Movies , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Cliffhanger (1993)

1 Comment Posted by on February 28, 2010

My fear of heights would never give me this job.

A year after losing his friend in a tragic 4,000-foot fall, former ranger Gabe Walker (Sylvester Stallone) and his partner, Hal (Michael Rooker), are called to return to the same peak to rescue a group of stranded climbers, only to learn the climbers are actually thieving hijackers.

As usual with any of the Stallone action vehicle’s there is no story here, other than this guy saves people off cliffs and ends up in some drug bust, and a bunch of bad people looking for all this money. It’s not a very original story to say the least, but it does have some good to it.

The film is all about the special effects and stunts that go down in this movie. The scenes with Stallone about 200 feet in the air dangling from just a wire are jaw-dropping, and will leave you on the edge of your seat. Also, not to forget the scenery of this ice cold mountain and how almost every time you have to watch your step or you just may fall many feet to your death.

The action is fun and exciting I’ll give it that and is one of the better action flicks from Stallone. There is a lot of nice action, that’s surprisingly bloody and in your face many of the times, especially these slow-mo shots of people getting killed are very nice to look at and also very disturbing.

Stallone tries to play more of a sensitive, human character but most of his dialogue is of the dirt-kicking, “Nobody understands me” elementary school variety. Similarly, Sly presents himself as more of an everyman who isn’t invulnerable – so he gets the shit kicked out of him way more than you’d expect for Stallone. But then he has these moments of almost superhuman feats, like when he sleds down a mountain on some dude’s BODY, hangs out under icy water without a shirt on, and impales a bad guy on a friggin’ stalactite! Well needless to say John Lithgow is not a very believable villain, and many times throughout the film I found myself laughing every time he talked cause I just couldn’t take him seriously as this sinister cold-blooded killer.

Consensus: Not yout typical horrible Stallone action flick, Cliffhanger has some jaw-dropping visuals mixed with exciting action, but still has its writing flaws and a not so relivable villain, but still a nice popcorn flick.

5.5/10=Rental!!!

1990s, 5-5.5/10, Movies , , , ,

Cop Land (1997)

1 Comment Posted by on January 30, 2010

I highly doubt any of these guys would be cops at all.

When a local patrolman is implicated in a controversial shooting in a small New Jersey town, put-upon sheriff Freddy Heflin teams up with Lt. Moe Tilden (Robert De Niro) to investigate a connection between the mob and the NYPD officers who live in the town. Sylvester Stallone delivers a dramatic performance in this arresting crime thriller as Freddy. Harvey Keitel and Ray Liotta also star.

Cop Land is a cop drama that is filled with a lot of those cliches that always rid every single cop film like this. The us vs them mentality, dirty cops, and most of all down-on-his luck cop. I mean I have seen this story plenty and plenty of times, and I just wish a bit more was added on to this film to make its story seem more and more fresh.

But the real reason for seeing this film is its rich plot. The story has plenty of twists and turns that actually keep you interested. The film doesn’t try to act like Goodfellas or The Godfather with its mob tie-ins, it more of acts like itself with some really nice set-up suspenseful scenes.

I liked how the film didn’t just try to show one story and just leave it at that. No, it had all these three exciting stories all having to do something with crime and justice, and putting them all together at the end. It actually felt like three NYPD Blues episodes put into one long film but it didn’t feel like a TV show and actually had a lot of depth added to it.

Sylvester Stallone totally gets rid of his macho action star look that he has done for so long in this rare but effective dramatic role. He gives this down-and-out cop we have seen time and time again, but adds an extra dimension to this character as we understand who he used to be and who he is now. The only problem I had with this huge ensemble cast is that not all of them were quite used as well as Stallone. I mean each does get a considerable amount of screen-time, but they aren’t as focused on as Stallone and I would have liked to see more of these characters lives instead of just one part of them.

The problem with this film by the end actually kind of killed the momentum it had going for it. I think the ending as predictable as it was, should have been made in a different far more realistic way. I mean its very very sappy, and doesn’t quite feel right in the film.

Consensus: Cop Land has its obvious cliches and bad ending, but features a fun and interesting story, backed by an effective dramatic performance from Stallone, but not enough time was given to the others in my opinion.

7.5/10=Rental!!

1990s, 7-7.5/10, Movies , , , , , , ,

Cobra (1986)

4 Comments Posted by on November 6, 2009

Oh god Stallone!

Marion Cobretti (Sylvester Stallone), a grizzly, loose-cannon cop, is on the trail of a dangerous serial killer who calls himself the “Night Slasher” (Brian Thompson). Now, Cobra not only has to catch the bad guy, he also has to protect the one woman (Brigitte Nielsen) who knows the killer’s identity. The body count rises as Cobra takes on an evil cult — and liberally doles out justice.

So when I thought this movie was actually going to be OK, I took a look at the poster and knew I was in for a world of hurt.

I mean honestly, just look at that quote. Tell me you cannot say,”Crime is a disease. Meet the cure”, is not the most cheesiest tag line you have ever seen. To be truly honest out of this whole movie that is probably the best line. You think I’m lying, but I can assure you this, I’m not.

The whole script was meant to be centered towards a comedy feel, with a lot of action. That would have been a good idea, but instead the film goes a serious tone with plenty of action to satisfy.

This film wasn’t meant to be a comedy, but to me, it turned out to be one of the funniest movies of all-time, un-intentionally that is.  The lines in this film are downright the worst but at the same time funniest lines I have ever heard. When we get to see these characters for who they really are, it is downright laughable, but mostly just unbearable.

Almost everything about this whole film is cheesy. The lines, the music is downright terrible with those 80′s Miami Vice themes coming in, and even the villains. I didn’t find these villains at all harmful, and also very misplaced. I felt like all their creepy-ass acting and deliverance of lines weren’t really meant for an action thriller like this, and really made this film even more comical.

The one good thing about this film that I will give it, is that the action is very respectable. There are just some scenes that look pretty good and are actually exciting rather than the same old stuff happening.

Sly Stallone really needs to remove his name from the credit’s on this one forever. This is some bad material he is given but also some of the worst acting I have ever seen from him in my life. His character is basically one-dimensional and not at all interesting. When he tries to give us little speeches on who we are, I couldn’t help but think maybe if he didn’t act like The Hulk throughout the whole film his character would have been the least mildly interesting.

Consensus: Though with some good action, Cobra is down-right terrible with some of the cheesiest lines you will ever hear, horrible 80′s music, and most of all some pretty terrible acting courtesy of Good Ole Sly, himself.

2/10=SomeOleBullShiitt!!!!

1980s, 2-2.5/10, Movies , , , ,

An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn (1998)

Leave a Comment Posted by on October 27, 2009

Somebody needs to burn this film.

In this satire skewering Hollywood movie making, Eric Idle stars as a film editor who gets a shot at directing a big-budget film (starring Sylvester Stallone and Whoopi Goldberg, no less) but is foiled by his producer (Ryan O’Neal). The premise builds on the age-old showbiz tradition of directors pulling their names from projects and replacing them with “Alan Smithee” credits to show that too many cooks have spoiled the cinematic broth.

OK, so now that the movie is finished with let me just start by saying this is a horrible film. I heard that this film was basically called “the worst film of all-time”, and liked swooped seven awards at The Golden Raspberry’s, and I wanted to give it a shot and actually see for myself. Now I wish I never made that decision.

Basically this film has a Mockumentary feel to it, like The Office or This Is Spinal Tap…., but this film takes that and moves it completely nowhere we expected. The film had little scenes that were just interviews that seemed to talk about the same crap after all this time. They were either talking about the director or the movie, or they were showing scenes that had nothing to do with the story at hand.

The worst thing about this film that really just made me want to kill something was it’s annoying on-going jokes about bigger and better stars. I understand a little pun joke here and there but once you do the same joke in a different format then I start to get really annoyed. The jokes labeled around stars such as Hugh Grant, OJ Simpson, and others I can’t remember cause there were so many.

I hated how this film tried to be funny but also insightful in a way, and does neither. The film tries showing how people in the film industry react with one another and really it just doesn’t play out to where we get what is the message behind it all.

Maybe the only the only thing saving this movie is it’s lead performance from Ryan O’Neal. Out of this whole film he is the only good thing as he is so condescending and arrogant that he actually feels like a real person that you just hate. There are little cameos in this film that are just meaningful and make no addition to the story other than just having another big name for the card.

Consensus: Irony has never been placed so wisely. This film should’ve been burned right from the moment it was conceived. The comedy is so obvious that it’s just dumb, and there is absolute no insight about Hollywood that we haven’t seen before.

1/10=SomeOleBullShiiittt!!!!

1-1.5/10, 1990s, Movies , , , , , , , , ,

Oscar (1991)

2 Comments Posted by on October 24, 2009

Crazy Sly doing a comedy role as a mob boss what is he doing.

Sylvester Stallone plays a big-time gangster who promises his dying father (Kirk Douglas) that he’ll go straight. Easier said than done, as Stallone encounters drawbacks such as a mix-up of little black bags, a daughter who changes fiances three times before lunch and a continuously revolving door of colorful thugs.

In this film, it does what many others don’t do, and that is make a very funny comeback after a nearly disastrous first 20 minutes. I will admit that I’m not a huge fan of 30′s depression era mobster comedies, cause I think they just thaw out to be corny and trying to hard to be funny, but this one was a different set.

The one thing I liked the most was that Stallone’s character is such a straight-forward guy and they always have these funny side characters thrown at him and it makes it more joy to see how he reacts to these goofball characters. The movie has a very well-played out but funny situation that happens and when its all over its good to see it all thaw out.

I think Sly was OK in his first comedy role but he is not too believable. He runs up the stairs too fast like he’s being Rocky again, and he also doesn’t seem that vicious when it comes to him being screwed. He just doesn’t seem like the mob boss that would whack you for stealing over thousands of dollars of his money. The rest of the supporting cast is very funny and well-casted and are surely where the strength lays.

The problem I had with this film that so many of the gags were too played off as being a parody on old time Hollywood films and I thought this called for no original material. Director John Landis, who is known for directing films like Animal House and ¡Three Amigos, I was expecting more from these comedic genius but I was surely disappointing that it wasn’t as hilarious.

Consensus: Oscar is a funny situational comedy that is boasted by a great story and hilarious side characters, even if it seems like a parody.

8/10=Matinee!!

1990s, 8-8.5/10, Movies , , , , ,

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