The Whole Nine Yards (2000)

A mobster movie based in Canada. This has got to be interesting.

Just about every person in the neighborhood eventually wants someone dead, even a dull, panic-prone dentist named Oz Ozeransky (Matthew Perry), who is married to monstrous Sophie (Rosanna Arquette) and lives next door to mobster-on-the-run Jimmy “The Tulip” Tudeski (Bruce Willis). Will Sophie get Jimmy to off Oz for insurance money?

My favorite part, and yet my least favorite part about this film has to be the screenplay. The reason why I liked it is because there are a lot of good lines here that surprisingly work, and some nice little twists, that keep you watching and entertained.

However, it was my least favorite as well because some jokes are just drop dead terrible. I think they were aiming a little bit too high for these jokes, and it just ended up not doing anyone, any good. I didn’t like how there was dumb slapstick involved with this film, because I don’t think any of these stars should have to be reduced to that type of material. I also didn’t realize that this is some pretty dark material as well. People are getting killed left and right at times, and they act as if nothing happens, with a big smile on the face. I understand being a “dark” comedy, but there are certain elements of a dark comedy that are acceptable, and unacceptable. This is the unacceptable one.

The stars are what did save this film for me though. Bruce Willis is perfect as “The Tulip” as he gives that cool-guy charm, we all know and love him for. Matthew Perry is very funny here as the nervous square, Oz, who actually gives off very good slapstick, and proves to be one of the funnier things with this film. It’s a shame that this guy hasn’t done much else lately, cause he really can make comedy work. Amanda Peet is funny here as Oz’s assistant, as well as Rosanna Arquette, as Oz’s crazy wife. Michael Clarke Duncan brings his mean guy persona to the screen and it works with a lot of scenes, and as well as Kevin Pollak‘s performance. But the one miscast person in this film had to be Natasha Henstridge. She doesn’t really bring much to here character other than good looks, and some pretty cheesy lines.

Consensus: It has some nice plot twists, and charming moments mainly due to the cast, but The Whole Nine Yards has problems with some jokes being too flat, and an utterly serious tone that they try to smear down with bad slapstick.



  1. Another one of my favorites, dude. Bruce Willis as the “The ‘too cool’ Tulip” is the perfect counterpoint for Matthew Perry’s panicky “Non Poz Oz!”

  2. This review was really really well written and I think every one you write is better than the last. I like how you said “drop dead terrible” because those words aren’t usually paired and it was entertaining. Oodgay objay 🙂

  3. This film gets trashed a lot but I absolutely LOVE it! I have to disagree with you on the slapstick though. Normally it leaves me completely cold, but in a movie that is going out of its way to be cool, those purely stupid moments are perfect. They just remind you that no one in the movie is taking themselves too seriously which is refreshing.
    The script has some fantastic lines, I think it’s a completely underrated movie.

  4. Haven’t seen this in a while but I remember thinking it was pretty good. I like Matthew Perry’s brand of humour – essentially, he’s Chandler from Friends in every one of his movies. He’s great in Studio 60 though and no Chandler Bing in sight.

  5. watched this a few week’s before you did. didn’t hate it. I actually liked it…just didn’t love it. Does that make any sense? I suppose I need to get arund to the sequel one of these days. Wonder if it’ll turn out to be better or worse.

    Nice review, man!

      • hopefuilly I’ll get to it soon…netflix has it on long wait, though…so it’ll be a…long wait…lol

        of course, they also had Easy A on long wait last week and it came, so you never know

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