300 (2007)

Had me totally convinced that I was born in the wrong century.

Retelling the ancient Battle of Thermopylae, it depicts the titanic clash in which King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and 300 Spartans fought to the death against Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) and his massive Persian army.

300 is the definitive 21st century guy movie. If you tell me that you watched 300, and didn’t automatically get inspired to hit the gym, and possibly a couple of people on the way, well then I will call you a huge liar. Or Persian.

This is adapted from Frank Miller’s graphic novel, which is also based off some actual true history right here. The film itself is directed by Zack Snyder, the guy who’s behind The Watchmen, Dawn of the Dead, and the new Superman film coming up and I must say that having seen this guy’s films he really does know how to make a film, as crazy and hectic as it may be, look beautiful. The visuals are outstanding, and the constant flairs of all these different colors hitting the screen, put you in this world where bloodshed is everywhere and only the strong will survive. This provides some beautiful shots, with some even better cinematography that seemed so hard to pull off, but somehow they did.

The one thing that some people may not actually see about this film is that it is about 40 minutes long, if it were to play in real-time. But instead Zack “Slow-Mo” Snyder makes almost every single action hit, stab, cut, kill, etc. it slow-motion which didn’t bother me at first, until I realized that almost everything is like this, and bothered me because I just felt like it was lazy directing to create a cooler look to the action.

However, despite that, I must say that the action is freakin’ awesome! Since this is a guy’s film you got non-stop shouting, bleeding, beheading, delimbing, swords going all over the place, shields being destroyed, and most of all you have those male-bonding scenes that may seem like a GLAAD parade with all these half-naked dudes in sweat and dirt, but as soon as you see the first action sequence that’s all off your mind, and you just wanna see some more people get thrashed to shreds. If you look away at one scene because this is too graphic for you, you are not a real man, I should know too (site name).

The script is full-on machismo with these one-dimensional caricatures talking like WWE wrestler’s. Honestly though, who cannot forget “THISSSS ISSS SPARTAAAA” or “Give them nothing! But take from them everything!!!!”. The dialogue may seem all a bit laughable, but in the end, the action just holds you over for good, and you will find you and your bros quoting this long after.

Gerard Butler is the freakin’ man as Leonidas, and perfectly captures that look and spirit that we image the Spartan warriors to have been. It’s just a shame that all he does is shit now, but we can always look back at the days when he was actually good. Lena Headey is also good as well as beautiful as his beautiful wife Gorgo. I also liked seeing Dennis Rodman as Xerxes. Oh…that wasn’t him…..could have had me fooled. It was also nice to see other stars in this such as Michael Fassbender, Dominic West, and David Wenham.

Consensus: Not to be taken too seriously, 300 is a more of an orgy of violence and gore, rather than an actual history document, but will entertain the hell out of all dudes, as well as provide plenty and I do mean plenty of beautiful visuals.



  1. I really was blown away by the visuals the first time I saw this. The second time though, because of the insanely dumb plotting, I didn’t get beyond “This is SPARRRTA”. I’ll have to give it another go, but in the Snyder resume, it currently doesn’t stand as high as ‘Dawn of the Dead’ and ‘Watchmen’. But after ‘Sucker Punch’ I have nearly given up on the guy, anyway! Nice review though!

    Hey, congrats on your Best New Lamb nomination too!

  2. I enjoyed it the first time I peeped it, too, but the second viewing wasn’t overly kind. This time ’round I found it exceptionally cheesy, obnoxious and mind-numbingly offensive.

    From my review: “So while 300 still looks nice and maintains its rightful link to the Miller pages, I guess my taste has changed. No longer enraptured by the roided litany of greasy fascists as much as I’d like, I must resign myself to the idea that I’m no longer man enough to enjoy this kind of thing. I’ll live.”

    Do agree with you on Gerard Butler, though. What a shitball he’s become.

    • This a fun film with beautiful visuals that will take you’re mind off the script. And God, what has he done with his “career”!??!

  3. This one came as a pleasant surprise for me, and I can only hope that the sequel will come to the theatres here – with not many cuts from the censor board! As you said the visuals score, which is why I need to watch the sequel on the big screen.

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