Three words: “Colin Farrell’s Mullet”.
Michael Mann directs this gritty adaptation of the popular 1980s television series of the same name that moves vice squad cops Ricardo Tubbs (Jamie Foxx) and Sonny Crockett (Colin Farrell) out of their pastel duds and into the new millennium. Attempting to identify the group behind a recent string of murders, Tubbs and Crockett work undercover with a South Florida drug dealer. But in the process, the duo risks losing everything.
I was never a huge fan of the TV series because it was basically the 80’s and as we all know, anything from the 80’s is corny. However, I can easily say I had a better time watching that show than this shit.
The good thing about Miami Vice is that it is beautifully shot because Michael Mann always knows how to make some of the dirtiest places, beautiful and seem like Pink Floyd concerts with lights everywhere. Too bad that’s all the good I can really say about this one.
The main problem with this film was that it was just so slow with nothing happening, and a lot of gay montages that just made me want more action. Action that I didn’t really even get until the last 10 minutes, and even then it was totally bogus. The action scene at the end may be kind of cool because Mann always knows how to film an action scene but
There is no real plot here at all which disappointed the hell out of me because I was expecting some crazy twists, turns, guns, drugs, and cheesy music but instead didn’t really get any. These two go undercover and that is basically it. Nothing really will hold you over especially when you listen to this clunky-ass dialogue that didn’t do much for me, other than have me laugh my ass off. I mean how many times can people say things like; “dropping the load”, or “where’s the load at”, until they finally realize that it all just sounds incredibly silly. All I could keep thinking about is why are these dudes looking for a pair of crap at? Maybe I have a mind of a 5-year old but don’t tell me you weren’t thinking it either!
Don’t also have me forget the insanely shitty the “romance” angle here is too. I mean Farrell falls for this chick within about 5 minutes and there’s nothing really amazing about her that has us believe he’s in totally head-over-heals for her and when we do see these two together, it’s like a really cheesy soap opera that just has non-stop passionate making whoopie scenes. I’m telling you, if I saw another pair of people get in the shower, I was going to just go insane.
I thought well since the writing sucks, the plot is even worse, and I don’t really have my interest fully on the film, maybe the actors will keep me glued considering I like them both. This did not happen. Neither Jamie Foxx or Colin Farrell are really doing anything amazing here that makes us think, “Wow these guys are so damn cool”. When I watched these two I didn’t feel any sense of chemistry between them nor did I feel any actual emotions come from their characters anyway. All I really got was a bunch of mumbling and grunts from these two macho dudes. Also, somebody should have gotten Li Gong an English speaking teacher because she had me laughing at so many parts here.
Consensus: Michael Mann makes this film look beautiful, but looks aside, Miami Vice is a boring, badly performed, and poorly-scripted film that doesn’t really do much with it’s plot let alone the two great actors they have in their parts.