The Babymakers (2012)

Men, save the juice for the women, stop beatin’ off. Problem solved.

Paul Schneider and Olivia Munn play a married couple hitting the three-year itch of whether or not to have children. The Mister is having some problems in the “lazy sperm” department, but thankfully he donated quite a bit of it years ago to help pay for the engagement ring. This means it’s only a matter of time until he goes after it, but the problem is, everything in this movie has to be stupid.

For all of you dudes out there who thought that Super Troopers and Beerfest was the end-all, be-all of comedy, then this one will be just the right token for you. And trust me, there are people out there who think so and will probably go miles and miles just to see this flick, which is a total shame because it’s probably one of the worst movies of the year and doesn’t deserved to be seen from a distance any longer than your bedroom, to your living room.

I do have to give credit to director Jay Chandrasekhar for at least trying to break-out of that Broken Lizard mold of movie-making and actually go for something different, but I can’t give too much since his effort seems terribly wasted on material that seemed like it had no life in the first place. The problem with this flick is pretty damn simple: it’s just not funny. Make no means about it, this film had me laugh once and that was at the most random part that I least expected it to get me at, but other than that, nothing else really worked. Now of course I could just end the review by saying that “this film was not funny” and be done with it all and never look back (trust me, my life wouldn’t change) but you good people out there are probably reading this, wondering just what is to be said about this highly-anticipated flick. Well, thanks for allowing me to go over the misery once again.

Lizard‘s type of humor is all about being dumb, embracing the idea of dumbness, and trying to make every situation, no matter how interesting or non-interesting it may be, dumb. That’s all there is to this flick, really. It’s just dumb for the sake of being dumb and there’s nothing else really going on here other than that and to top it all off, fart and sex jokes are also showing up as well. This film seems like it’s trying very hard to make me laugh but every single piece of comedy is totally predictable and even when it isn’t, it doesn’t matter because you could really care less about the comedy itself. It’s almost non-existent, really, and I couldn’t help but doze off a couple of well, say, 15 times. However, that wasn’t as bad compared to the other peeps I was at the screening with because believe it or not, somebody actually just walked out in the middle of it. Don’t know why I didn’t think of that when I was there. Oh wait, that’s right! I was freakin’ asleep because this movie bored me to utter death!

One of the most striking and unusual elements about this flick is how Paul Schneider actually left Parks and Recreation, to focus on his film-career instead, and by doing so, we get this piece of garbage. Great move, dude! Schneider has good comedic timing when he’s playing these restrained, awkward character types like he does everywhere he appears in but he seems to be really out of hi element here with the comedy he’s handed. He’s supposed to curse up a storm like a truck-driver, he’s supposed to do plenty of physical acts of comedy, and he’s supposed to be a likable guy that still wants to settle down with his wifey and have a couple of kiddies. Not for once did I believe this dude with anything that he does here in this film and it’s a little obvious that Schneider seems to be going for the Paul Rudd-type of a character, but fails in doing so. Schneider should just go back to Parks and if not, at least choose way better roles in way better films than this hunk of crap.

Even if I’m not quite yet sold on whatever it is everybody seems to have a problem with, Olivia Munn actually seems to really try her hardest with this material even though there isn’t much given to her in the first place, after all. Also, how many freakin’ times did this gal just have to smile in order for it to make it seem like she was one, big peach of a wife to have around!?! God, the things that annoy me! Since this is, essentially, a buddy movie, most of the film’s scenes are dedicated to Schneider’s interaction with dumb-asses, Jay Chandrasekhar and Kevin Heffernan. In past outings with these guys, I’ve actually came to find them very funny with their great sense of comedic-timing, always still in-play, but here, they’re just annoying and made me want to leave even more than I did in the first 15 minutes. Honestly, if this film made me want to do anything, anything at all, it was make me want to watch more Parks, Super Troopers, and actually check out more sexy-pics of Munn. Thankfully, I did all three right after this movie was over and if there is anything really positive about this movie at all, it’s just that.

Consensus: The Babymakers fails in almost every single which way imaginable: not funny as hard as it tries, features dumb characters that annoy every viewer, performances that don’t do much to elevate this already shit material, and a bunch of predictable pieces of comedy, that never worked, except for that one, rare moment. Goddamn!

1/10=Crapola With Sperm!!


  1. lol, its always fun to see a review tear a movie apart the way it truly deserves. I actually just got to do so with my review of Miley Cyrus’ LOL (My first 1/10 actually)

    Anyways I’ve head nothing but utterly terrible things about this movie, I get the sense that Olivia Munn isn’t ever going to be much more than a pretty face outside of Attack of the Show on G4. That plus the fact that Schneider was the least interesting character from Parks and Recreation and I didn’t expect much from this movie, but now I know that it is something to avoid like the plague 🙂

    • This movie was dreadful and even though I like them both, they aren’t able to do shit with this material. Schneider should be ashamed, he really should.

    • He wasn’t so bad on Parks, his character just had a different sense of humor. Still, he should have never left that show for this junk.

  2. I was laughing already from the beginning. Knew it was going to be an awful film, didn’t even bother finishing the trailer. So no surprise there.

    Nice review!

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