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Dan the Man's Movie Reviews

All my aimless thoughts, ideas, and ramblings, all packed into one site!

Sex Tape (2014)


Should have learned their lesson from Pamela and Tommy Lee’s horn-honking dong.

Annie (Cameron Diaz) and Jay (Jason Segel) are the type of couple that, at one time early in their relationship, were constantly having sex. And when they weren’t having sex, they were thinking about where and when to have sex next. They just did it because they were young, horny and in love. However, as with most relationships, that all came to an end once Annie became pregnant and the two decided that they wanted to get married, have another kid, get jobs, buy a house, and eventually, turn into the same old and boring couple that they didn’t want to be when they first started out together, but sadly, became exactly like. And to make matters even worse, the two aren’t even having as much sex as they definitely would like to. That’s why Annie and Jay decide to clear out one night together where they’ll have sex and do everything they used to do when they were young – except that it doesn’t happen like that at all. In fact, barely anything happens. So that’s when the two come to the idea that they need to film themselves having sex for one reason or another, which totally works, especially since Jay deletes the video as soon as it’s over.

But does he?

And right from there, you have an-hour-and-a-half adventure movie of sorts in which we have this married-couple running all over everywhere in order to snatch iPads and find any way that’s at all possible in which they can delete this sex tape from all existence. While that should totally sound like buckets of fun, made even better with Segel and Diaz in the lead roles, it doesn’t transpire into much except just a couple of chuckles and plenty of missed opportunities.

Kids? A family? Breakfast and coffee in the morning? Ew! Boring!

Kids? A family? Breakfast and coffee in the morning? Ew! Boring!

Save for one sequence in which we get to spend a lovely 20 minutes with Rob Lowe’s wild and crazy corporate exec character that seems like he’s going to be a total square from the beginning, and then turns into a total loose cannon once the Scotch has been poured, the Slayer is turned on and the lines have been snorted. This whole sequence is easily the best, most hilarious part of the whole movie; not because Lowe is so damn funny (which he is), but because this movie actually seems like it wants to surprise us with showing this rather nerdy, all business-like guy, and have him totally be somebody else that’s not only crazy, but fun to watch be crazy.

That Rob Lowe, man. He truly is something else.

That being said, the rest of the movie is kind of a blur in my mind, only because it never seemed to surprise me with the things in which it was doing, or in how it wanted to make me laugh and why. I guess when you’re talking about a comedy, those two elements sort of go hand-in-hand, but for Sex Tape, they’re sort of different. See, we know we’re supposed to be laughing at this situation and how screwed-over this married-couple truly is, but there’s really no point in caring, so watching them think they are one step closer to solving their problem, only to have it then slam back in their face, was actually where most of the laughs came from. Not because they’re terrible people in any way, but because the movie itself never seems to know what to do with either of them, except have them run around, yell and talk about how angry they are with one another, as well as the situation they’re in.

And if that sounds like the quintessential piece to creating near-perfect character-development, then you and Jake Kasdan may have a lot in common, because that’s all he seems to think is needed here for Annie and Jay, our married-couple-in-peril for the next hour-and-a-half. Though a part of me wants to give these two characters a slide because Diaz and Segel are so believable in their chemistry together, another part of me wishes that there was more to these characters than just that they’re angry and desperate-as-hell. That’s all we really get to know about them and personally, it wasn’t enough to really care.

"Four-some anyone?"

“Four-some anyone?”

In fact, a more interesting movie could be made out of this in which the Sex Tape actually goes viral to the whole public, and the bond between the two is eventually tested. Would Annie and Jay be absolutely ashamed of having others see them butt-naked and boning? Or, would they just let it all slide off their backs as if nothing ever happened and just move on with their lives? Sure, placing these questions in would mean a darker, more dramatic movie, but I feel like it would have placed itself to being a rare comedy that not only makes people laugh, but has a lot to say as well.

Would it work? Who knows. But what I do know is that there was a huge element to this movie missing and that was its laughs. There needed to be more and most of all, there needed to be more coming from our leads. I mean sure, when you have a supporting cast featuring the likable-talents of Rob Corddry, Nat Faxon, Ellie Kemper, Nancy Lenehan, and a surprise appearance from somebody I swear to myself I wouldn’t spoil, it’s hard to complain, but when they over-shadow who are supposed to be your main focus-points throughout the whole presentation, it’s a bit of a problem. But what makes it an even bigger problem is that you have two likable peeps such as Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel in these roles, where they aren’t given much to do at all, except, like I said before, just run around, yell and talk about how angry they are with one another. Sure, they do an awful lot of banging as well, but honestly, who cares about that in a R-rated studio-comedy? I know there are some pervs out there who totally disagree with me, but trust me, you’d have a much better time just watching some of the most famous sex tapes made just to get what all of the hype is about.

Or just straight-up porn. Your choice, my friend.

Consensus: Most of the laughs in Sex Tape come from the supporting players, rather than Diaz or Segel themselves, although it’s clear that they are trying their hardest and just coming up empty on a route, relatively unfunny script.

4 / 10 = Crapola!!

I'm usually the one with the roller-blades on. I'm freaky like that.

I’m usually the one with the roller-blades on. I’m freaky like that.

Photo’s Credit to: IMDBAceShowbiz

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14 responses to “Sex Tape (2014)

  1. ashokbhatia July 18, 2014 at 5:19 am

    You have a good style of reviewing movies!

  2. Tom July 18, 2014 at 5:53 am

    “. . .in order to snatch iPads.” Snatch iPads. Hehe. Interesting idea.

    This movie, however, didn’t sound like one to me. And confirmed by your review I will probably just skip it.

  3. Writer Loves Movies July 18, 2014 at 6:34 am

    I’ll probably see this one as I like Jason Segel but I’ll try not to expect too much. Good review Dan.

  4. jcl52 July 18, 2014 at 8:07 am

    Hey Dan could you check out my review of the movie I am in the same boat as you in terms of really not liking the movie, I did like it a little more than you did. I do wish the movie had been built around the Rob Lowe character and that was a good turn by everyone involved. I liked the blink and you’ll miss it appearance of Kumail Nanjiani,

  5. Roy Sexton (Reel Roy Reviews) July 18, 2014 at 12:32 pm

    I’m so glad you saw this so I don’t have to!

    >

  6. MovieManJackson July 18, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    Gonna give this a watch but certainly not expecting much. I’ll watch Anarchy or maybe HTTYD2 first. Great review as always Dan.

  7. Brittani July 18, 2014 at 2:10 pm

    Well this is definitely going to be a rental for me. Great review! (and warning lol)

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  11. Evan Crean July 20, 2014 at 4:18 pm

    SEX TAPE was funnier than I expected, although it still wasn’t good by any means. I’d give it maybe a C if I’m feeling generous. Segel and Diaz have believable chemistry and their relationship is charming. But the movie is basically one joke the entire time and the only really hilarious part is at Lowe’s house like you said. It seems like Kasdan lingers there too long though. I couldn’t stand the whole subplot involving blackmail. I felt like that was just stupid, mean, and unnecessary.

  12. #peggyatthemovies July 20, 2014 at 11:27 pm

    Great review!!! http://peggyatthemovies.com/2014/07/03/read-peggyatthemovies-review-of-sex-tape/ I crack up every single time as we are always so on the same wave-length of how bad/good a movie is.. We both loved Rob Lowe..scene stealer that he is in the pic.. All I can say is thank goodness I saw it a bit ago and it was free!! 😀

  13. Stewart Hoffman July 21, 2014 at 9:29 pm

    Crapola! Exactly! a 94 minute ad for Apple!

  14. Lights Camera Reaction July 22, 2014 at 12:35 pm

    How did this end up so bad? I wasn’t expecting it to do well, but the reviews have been really bad. Shame, I really like Diaz.

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