Dan the Man's Movie Reviews

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Their Finest (2017)

Leave a comment Posted by Dan O. on April 15, 2017

Now I definitely don’t need to see Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk.

It’s Britain, 1940, and needless to say, the war is hitting them pretty hard. Men are being shipped-out randomly, bombs are dropping everywhere, resources are drying up, families are being torn apart, and it just doesn’t seem like the good old days any longer. It seems like everyone is sad, depressed and absolutely unsure of what to do with their lives, which is why the British Ministry of Information decides to step on in and change all that up the only reliable way they know how: Making movies. And one such movie they commission is a supposed true story of heroism and bravery that occurred in Dunkirk, France. Of course, the movie-version of these said events get all wrapped-up and twisted around, to the point of where the original story isn’t even found anywhere, but the message of the tale is simple: Greater and better times are ahead and can still be found now. And crafting that film is writer Catrin (Gemma Arterton) who finds herself constantly battling it out with fellow writers, like Tom (Sam Claflin), actors, like Ambrose Hilliard (Bill Nighy), and fellow women in the office, like Phyl (Rachael Stirling) who give her crap for her gender and how she handles herself. But all she’s trying to do is make the best, most inspirational movie she can make, no matter what.

How could you not fall for the chum?

Their Finest is one of the most charming movies I have seen in quite some time and it doesn’t even seem like it’s trying. Okay, that’s a bit of a lie; it’s so smug, likable and sweet, that it’s almost begging for our adoration before the opening-credits roll onto the screen. But for the most part, it’s the time, the place, and the nostalgic message that makes it feel like Their Finest doesn’t have to even try – it’s homework of charming and pleasing the pants off of the audience is already done for itself.

That said, it’s still a wildly lovely movie that even without the time, the place, the nostalgic message, it would still work. Sure, those things certainly help, but mostly, Their Finest works because it’s a movie that has a heart as big the bombs that are constantly being dropped out throughout. Director Lone Scherfig and writer Gaby Chiappe come together in an interesting way that doesn’t shy away from the dark, brutal, and grueling reality that the war presented for everyone involved, but it also doesn’t shy away from the fact that there was some happiness and light to be found through it all.

It’s like an overlong episode of Boardwalk Empire, except the polar opposite – everyone around the main characters are sad, but the main characters themselves, somehow, through some way, are happy.

It all works, though, and never appears too cloying, or overly cutesy; it all feels earned and just earnest enough that it knows it’s harsh reality, without ever trying too revel in it, either. The movie is, plain and simple, just sweet and lovely – like a Pastri that you know you shouldn’t have, but also can’t keep yourself away from, either. That may not be the best way to describe Their Finest, but trust me, just know this: It’ll be hard not to smile the whole way through. Even when the movie’s sad (which it can be on countless occasions), it’s still kind of cheerful.

And it mostly all comes down to the characters and what they represent. In what has to be her best role to-date, Gemma Arterton finally gets a chance to prove that she can be awfully sweet and charming, when given the right material to work with. As Catrin Cole, we see a character that’s still figuring herself out, trying to make some sort of a mark in the world and above all else, trying to remain happy, hopeful and optimistic towards a brighter, better future. It’s a role that could have been easily grating and annoying in anyone’s hands, but it’s one that Arterton works so well with, that you immediately fall in love with her and her infectious spirit.

Gemma, have you ever seen Atonement? Get out of the subway!

And it’s also easy to see why everyone in the film does, too.

Sam Claflin, once again, proves that he’s quite possibly the most charming and handsome British guy working today, aside from Henry Cavill, as Tom, and shows quite a nice little chemistry between he and Arterton. The relationship may go into obvious places, but because they’re so good and cute together, it doesn’t matter – we want them together, no matter what. Bill Nighy is also the stand-out as the one actor in this whole production who can’t seem to know or realize that he’s a little too old to be quite the superstar he once was. The character could have easily been a cartoonish buffoon, but there’s a lot of heart and warmth in Nighy’s portrayal, that it works. Same goes for everyone else who shows up here, adding a little bit more personality and light to the whole proceedings.

But if anything about Their Finest really works for me, it’s the message that, no matter what happens to you, the outside world around you, or anybody, anywhere else in the world, the movies will always be there for you. Sure, it’s a sentiment that’s not as relevant as it may have been in the early-1940’s, when practically everyone and their grandmother needed a little cheering up, but it’s still the same kind of sentiment that resonates for any film-lover. Movies have always been made, and will always continue to be made, to take people away from their real lives, and place them somewhere lovely and magical, and provide the perfect distraction. Sure, there are movies that are made not to do such a thing (aka, documentaries), but the ones that really take you out of the real world and give you hope and ambition, well, then those are the ones that deserve to be seen, no matter what’s going on around you.

It’s what movies were put on this Earth to do in the first place and it’s why they will always hold a special place in each and every living person’s life.

Consensus: Sweet, endearing and ridiculously nostalgic, Their Finest wears its heart and humor on its sleeve, with even better performances to show for it.

8.5 / 10

Making movies have never been so, ehrm, British.

Photos Courtesy of: Indiewire

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

2 Comments Posted by Dan O. on December 19, 2016

The galaxy is vast, wide, and apparently, very British.

Everyday British dude Arthur Dent (Martin Freeman) is currently battling a bunch of contractors who literally want to build a bypass right where his house is. He’s sad about it and constantly rebels in any way that he can, but when he’s not even thinking about it, he’s taken aside by his friend Ford Prefect (Mos Def), who informs him that not only he’s an alien, but that the two have barely a minute left to live on planet Earth, as it is set to be destroyed any time now. And well, that’s exactly what happens – Arthur and Ford are then left to roam about the galaxy, until they’re then picked up by a random ship, holding Zaphod Beeblebrox (Sam Rockwell), the President of the Galaxy, his kind of, sort of, quite possible girlfriend Trillian (Zooey Deschanel), who Arthur had feelings for initially, and Marvin the Paranoid Android (Alan Rickman), who seems incredibly depressed about everything around it. Together, the group must face-off against the Vogons, aka, those who were familiar for destroying Earth in the first place and don’t seem to be done just yet.

It’s okay, Martin. The day will be over soon.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is a piece of cult pop-culture that’s survived as long as it has, based solely by the fact that people still don’t seem to understand it just yet and are still, as we speak at this moment, trying to make sense of all the crazy, madcap and wild adventures that the countless stories had to offer. That’s why a movie made of this source material is already troubling as is – especially when you’re working on such a big budget and have to, essentially, please not just the fanboys, but everyone else who may seem interested in seeing a madcap sci-fi flick for the hell of it. And it’s also why Garth Jennings, try as he might, just feels kind of lost here.

He gets some stuff right, but for the most part, Hitchhiker’s unfortunately seems like another case of where a lot of people had to be pleased and because of that, the movie itself ends up muddled, somewhat disjointed and yes, even messy.

Still though, there’s some joy and pleasure to be had in the messiness.

For one, Jennings does keep the movie moving at a fine, efficient pace, to where it feels like we’re getting a whole lot of story, but it’s always constantly going. The movie also doesn’t just focus on the one plot in particular, as there are some truly weird, yet humorous sidebars that come in, bring in a little flavor to the proceedings, and leave soon so that they don’t get in the way of the movie. While it may be a little close to two hours, surprisingly, the movie breezes by and may actually sneak up on you with how quick it’s going.

At the same time, though, being quick and swift doesn’t make your movie good, or even hide away all of the issues that may be troubling it in the first place. And if there’s a huge problem to be found with Hitchhiker’s, it’s that it’s just not as funny as it think it is. Sure, bits and pieces pop-up in this one adventure and on the side that could be considered “humorous”, but honestly, they don’t always connect; most of the time, it feels like the movie’s just trying to out-weird itself, throwing another wrench at the screen and seeing how they could go any further. A bit involving a character’s two-heads is supposed to be played for laughs and shocks, but is a gimmick that gets old real quick and honestly, doesn’t even seem like a joke, but just a character trait.

Yup. Just one of those days.

And it’s a shame, too, because there’s clearly a whole lot of ambition here coming from Jennings and everyone else, but the movie ends up being about its plot a lot, its odd sense of humor, its even odder sci-fi, and yet, not much else. It is, essentially, an adventure, for the sake of being an adventure, but we never get a clear understanding of anything that’s going on beforehand, so that when we’re told of what’s going to happen and what the clear goal of this mission is to be, it just doesn’t connect. The movie takes a whole lot of time to set-up its weird puns and sight-gags, but forgets to actually build a comprehensible plot that makes the whole adventure, well, feel like an actual adventure, that doubles as a ride we don’t ever want to get off.

But we kind of do, just so that it would chill out and take some more time with itself to figure things out.

The cast are really the ones who save it, as it seems like everyone came ready to play, for better or worse. Martin Freeman is, as usual, perfect as our every man; Mos Def fits in perfectly, showing his goofier side for once; Zooey Deschanel plays it as a ruler and it kind of works, although you’d sometimes wish she would just crack a smile or something; Sam Rockwell goes way overboard, even though that’s probably what was called on him in the first place, so it’s hard to make sense of whether or not it was a good idea; and the voices of Alan Rickman, Helen Mirren, Stephen Fry, and plenty of others all show up, adding a little bit of zaniness and fun to the overall proceedings, almost making us wish we got to actually see them here, as opposed to just hearing.

Because seeing is believing, as all sci-fi lovers know. And Catholics.

Consensus: Odd and goofy, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has its own style of humor that doesn’t always connect, making the over-packed story feel even a little more straining to comprehend or keep up with.

5.5 / 10

What a gang. Now why weren’t they more fun?

Photos Courtesy of: Now Very Bad…

2000s, 5-5.5/10, Movies 2005, Alan Rickman, Albie Woodington, Alex Argenti, Alisha Smith, Anna Chancellor, Aron Freeman, Art Hewitt, Ashley Stuart, Ben Uttley, Bill Bailey, Bill Nighy, Cecily Fay, Dan Ellis, Danny Blackner, Dominique Jackson, Edgar Wright, Garth Jennings, Hayley Burroughs, Helen Mirren, Ian Kay, Ian McNeice, Jack Stanley, James Thrift, Jane Belson, Jason Schwartzman, Jerome Blake, Jessie Riley, Jim Lynn, John Malkovich, Kelly Macdonald, Lynn Robertson Bruce, Mak Wilson, Mark Gatiss, Mark Longhurst, Mark Smith, Mark Stevenson, Martin Dawson, Martin Freeman, Mason Ball, Mike Lewis, Milo Bodrozic, Mohsen Nouri, Mos Def, Movie, Movie Review, Movie Reviews, Movies, Nigel Plaskitt, Nikki McInness, Oliver Parham, Patrick Walker, Paul Nathaniel, Peter Burroughs, Polly Jane Rocket Adams, Ray Donn, Reece Shearsmith, Rich Johnston, Richard Griffiths, Rob Horseman, Sam Rockwell, Sarah Bennett, Sean Sollé, Simon Hibbs, Simon Jones, Spencer Wilding, Stephen Fry, Steve Grindle, Steve Pemberton, Su Elliot, Susie Gossling Valerio, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Thomas Lennon, Tim Perrin, Tucker Stevens, Warwick Davis, William Wollen, Zoe Kubaisi, Zooey Deschanel

Pride (2014)

6 Comments Posted by Dan O. on October 23, 2014

Just be yourself, drag and all.

It’s 1984 and in the UK, a lot of people are angry. Most importantly though, the miners. They feel as if they are not being paid enough, or represented like they should be, so therefore, they decide to start up a strike and get their voices heard. Another group who demand the same are a bunch of prideful and accepting homosexuals who, much rather than being spit on, mocked and ignored, decide that if they’re going to get what they want, they have to go out and join another group who wants the same thing as they do. This is when the young leader of the group, Mark Ashton (Ben Schnetzer), coins the name for the campaign, “Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners” (LGSM). Though, of course, once the miners themselves find out who the group is, they deny them and want nothing to do with them. But thinking on their feet, the LGSM decide to travel out to another group of on-strike miners in a small village in Wales where, at first, they get all sorts of strange looks and stares. Eventually though, most of the town begins to warm up to the group and they all become a family of sorts. But like with most families, there’s always going to be problems and it just so happens that the LGSM may not be ready for all the ones standing in the way of getting what they want: To be heard and understood.

The general idea surrounding most movies that concern a certain group of people/persons, usually is, if you aren’t in the same demographic as the people being depicted on the screen, then you have nothing to relate to. “Because you aren’t black, means that you can’t relate or at least sympathize with a slave,” is something I casually hear in angry, shout-filled arguments about movies that I try to stay away from, and it ticks me off. Not only is it wrong, but I even have a solution to that idea, in a way to shut all the naysayers up for the rest of their days: I’m a human being, isn’t that enough?

McNulty’s back! And now he’s pretending to be Omar!

And that’s exactly the kind of idea I had in my head while watching Pride – sure, I myself am not a gay man, but I know what it feels like to want to be heard and understood, even if it was just through a simple disagreement I’ve had with a family-member or co-worker. Maybe that’s wrong of me to compare the exchange of words I may have with someone in a day in my life, to the plight of all gay and lesbian people out there across the globe, but to me, it feels necessary. Not only did it have me sympathize with just about everyone here, but it also made me realize that this is how I’m supposed to feel.

Another general idea to go along with the one I presented up about two paragraphs ago, is that it’s hard for one to enjoy a movie that’s so limited in its audience-appeal; being a film-goer/lover, I know this to be especially false. As long as the material is presented to me in a way that I can enjoy, or at least find somewhat interesting, I don’t care if you have a story about stomping possums for an-hour-and-a-half; just give me something good, and I’ll roll with it. And that’s why a movie like Pride worked for me – I didn’t need to enjoy it only by being gay, but by appreciating a good, well put-together movie when I see one.

And in case you couldn’t tell by now, Pride is a good, well put-together movie. Which surprised me because, after seeing the trailer, I expected this to be nothing more than a manipulative, feel-goody tale about a group of outspoken people that stood up and got their voices heard that we usually see hit the cinema screens, but thankfully, that’s not how it was. Well, at least not totally, anyway. The problem with Pride is that it can get a bit sappy at times and rather than trying to be subtle with what it’s trying to get across about every man, woman, and being on this planet just sticking together and loving one another, regardless of gender, race, or sexual-preference, it hits you right over-the-head. Especially on more than a few occasions.

But, then again, there is something to be said for a movie that presents a lot of these moments in an over-the-top, preachy-way, yet, still somehow works and is able to put a smile on your face.

Take, for instance, a scene in which Dominic West’s character, Jonathan Blake, decides to break the ice at a benefit for the group by dancing all over the dance floor, flaunting it like nobody’s bizz, and letting pretty much everybody in the venue know, yep, he’s gay. This burst of dance obviously gets everybody else involved and all hyped-up, but it’s not just the gays and lesbians who join in on the fun – there’s actually two very straight, very masculine miner-boys who, throughout the whole movie prior to this, kept their distance from the homosexuals, but now, realizes that looking flamboyant and, overall, being a good dancer, attracts a whole bunch of horny, hot woman, who are just looking to grope the next best dancer they can find who isn’t named Usher (mind you, this was before Yeah!, but you catch my drift). So obviously, they decide to be actual friends with the group that’s supporting them, in hopes that they’ll get all the dancing-lessons they oh so desire.

Is this corny? You betcha! But is it also slightly lovely to see two different sides of society, come together, all in the name of dance? Oh, definitely and that’s how mostly all of Pride is. It’s corny, but sometimes, so corny that you can’t help but fall in love with its inherent corniness and even mistaken it for “having charm”. Which was fine to me, because the movie presents us with enough rich and tender dramatic moments that tell us how hard it truly was for each of these people to get disrespected because of who they were, to go along with the happy-go-lucky ones where everybody’s smiling, drinking, sexxing, and just overall, having a grand time.

Oh, those daft old ladies laughing makes my stomach warm up. And also want tea.

Oh, and they’re dancing, too, but I think I’ve made that clear enough by now.

And though the movie can get deep a couple of times, especially when it talks about the oncoming scare of HIV and how nobody’s really doing anything to stop it from wiping out just about everybody it infects, it still doesn’t want to take us away from the fact that this is a sweet, simple story, that hardly ever rings a false note. Sure, there’s a couple of villainous-homophobes that were literally a mustache-twirl away from going full Bond, but even they seemed like they had reasons for being so against same-sex relationships, as misguided as they may have been. Same even goes for the townspeople who eventually grow to like the gays and lesbians; they have clear, understandable intentions for wanting to help their cause, yet, still not totally be thrown for a loop in terms of what they want in life. All they really want to do is lend a helping hand to people who seem like they need it the most, which, to me, isn’t just the real beauty and crowd-cheering praise I can give this movie, but to humanity as a whole.

Okay, now I’m getting sappy.

Consensus: By not trying to be anything it’s not, Pride feels like the sort of feel-good, pick-me-upper that deserves to be seen by anybody who wants to laugh, tear-up a bit, and at the end of the day, feel good about living in the world that we do, where humans inherently feel the need to do the right thing.

8 / 10 = Matinee!!

Not 80’s enough. Needs more colored mo-hawks.

Photo’s Credit to: IMDB, AceShowbiz

2010s, 8-8.5/10, Movies 2014, Abram Rooney, Adam Ewan, Adam Gary, Adrian Palmer, Alan Bond, Alexander Bracq, Alexander Perkins, Andrew Bilton, Andrew Dunkelberger, Andrew Scott, Ben Schnetzer, Bill Nighy, Bronwen Lewis, Bryan Parry, Chris Groundsell, Chris Overton, Clare Lawrence Moody, Collette Von Tora, Dan Twine, Dean Ashton, Dennis Banks, Derek Barr, Dion Lloyd-Jones, Dominic West, Dyfan Dwyfor, Ed Coleman, Evelyn Rei, Faye Marsay, Freddie Fox, George MacKay, Giles Cooper, Harry Rippon, Henry Garrett, Huw Samuel, Ian Mann, Imelda Staunton, Jack Baggs, James Amey, Jâms Thomas, Jessica Gunning, Jessie Cave, Johnny Gibbon, Joseph Gilgun, Joseph Wilkins, Josh Rochford, Joshua Hill, Julie Barclay, Karina Fernandez, Kyle Rees, Larissa Jones, Lasco Atkins, Laura Matthews, Lauren Johns, Lisa Palfrey, Liz White, Lucy Timmons, Lukas DiSparrow, Margot Richardson, Marlon G. Day, Martin Crossingham, Matthew Flynn, Matthew Tennyson, Matthew Warchus, Menna Trussler, Michael Haydon, Michael Vardian, Monica Dolan, Movie, Movie Review, Movie Reviews, Movies, Neil Bishop, Nia Gwynne, Nicholas Marshall, Nicolas Chinardet, Nicon Caraman, Paddy Considine, Pride, Rafael Pereira-Edwards, Richard Shanks, Rita McDonald Damper, Shane Salter, Silvia Crastan, Sophie Evans, Steve Carroll, Yusei

Valkyrie (2008)

18 Comments Posted by Dan O. on May 20, 2014

But I thought Hitler died in a movie theater explosion? Stupid Hollywood and their tricks for making up history as they go!

After permanently losing his right eye and arm, Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg (Tom Cruise) is forced to come back to Nazi Germany, with a newfound respect from those around him, as well as a new mission on that he sets his sights on the most: Assassinating Hitler and making Germany a peaceful country once again. The problem isn’t that Hitler’s the most powerful man in Germany, whom almost nobody can double-cross and succeed at doing, but getting each and every person on the same page, so that the plot goes perfectly according to plan. There are people in high places involved, too, it’s just that they are so nervous, that they second-guess themselves so many times, that they either kill themselves, spill the beans to others, or screw up the plan while it’s going on. However, for those who are inspired to take down Hitler, they don’t back down, not even when the slightest misstep rears its ugly head. Which, during this plan, occurs many times – maybe moreso than anybody involved would have wanted. But such is the case when you’re trying to take down the powerful, almighty Führer.

First thing to mention, that is more than likely going to screw people over while watching this movie (if one decides to do so), is that every actor here, whether they be English, French, American, or, obviously, German, has to play a German character. There’s nothing different about that – heck, if an actor is called upon to do some sort of accent that isn’t of their own native-tongue, then there’s no doubt in their mind that they shouldn’t take it. However, what’s so strange here is that almost nobody in this cast, not even the German actors (as hard as they are to come by), even flirts with doing a German accent.

“So, the one Jew says to other Je-…… Oh, I mean, hey, fuck that Hitler guy, right?”

Perhaps the biggest criminal of this is Tom Cruise who, in the first few minutes, does a bit of German to show that he’s got the chops to be on-par with Liam Neeson in every which way; but a mere seconds later, he’s back to his original, American-dude accent that almost everybody is able to recognize right away and is distracting practically the whole way through. It makes sense if you English lads like Tom Wilkinson, or Kenneth Branagh, or even Bill Nighy in these German roles, cause at least they have an accent as is to work with, but Cruise, he has nothing. It’s just him talking, and acting like he’s Jerry Maguire all over again.

Except this time, instead of, “Show me the monaaaaay!”, it’s, “Heil Hitler!” Which, while we’re talking about it, he only does once, so relax over there ya Scientologists!

And it’s not that Cruise is bad really, it’s just that he’s playing Tom Cruise, which is neither good or bad, it’s just Tom Cruise. Especially so here, considering he doesn’t seem like he’s really trying to go for anything else other than the heroic, determined-type we’ve seen him throw himself into role, after role, after role. Nothing wrong with that, because the dude’s a pro at those types of roles, but it does get old after awhile when it seems like all you’re seeing is the same guy, play the same role, in the same kind of movie, except with different scenery around him. In this case, it’s Nazis, but honestly, throw in a scene of Cruise on the hood of a car, with that iconic track playing somewhere in the background, and you’ve practically got another Mission: Impossible movie.

Except, once again, their being Nazis and all.

The rest of the cast is fine, too, mostly because they’re easier to not be distracted by when they’re trying to sound a lick at all like German-folk, but there’s nobody here in particular that’s spectacular. Everybody’s fine and serviceable with what it is they have to do; which, most of the time, just consists of them clicking their heels, staring into space very intently, and sweating bullets, which was probably because Bryan Singer decided to douse all of them with Aquafina bottles before shooting. So yeah, that last part doesn’t count.

And speaking of Bryan Singer (all “under-aged boys parties”-jokes aside), the guy does what he can here with this material. He clearly wants to make this move, sizzle and spice like a Hitchock thriller, while at the same time, still harp on the fact that an evil man like Hitler actually existed and had immense power over thousands and thousands of people. However, what takes away from most of what Singer does here, is that it’s a story we all know the ending to. Okay, maybe not all of the little, itty, bitty, gritty details, but what we know is that the plan failed, Hitler lived, and all of those who were involved with the conspiracy theory in the first place, we’re all eventually killed anyway. So yeah, it sort of ends on a dim note, but that’s the kind of note we can expect from a movie like this, because that’s exactly what happened.

“Stop hanging out with pirates!”

It’s not like I’m saying that movies that have an ending we already know about, can’t be fun or exciting anyway possible, because they totally can. However, in order to do so, there needs to be a drive, or a certain feeling of emotion involved with the proceedings that makes us feel, even for a split-second, like this story’s outcome could happen differently than what we already know. It’s highly unlikely, but so are plots to plenty of movies; that’s why we need movies to go for the gold whenever they can, having us believe in the unbelievable, and throw all of our cards out on the table, as if we don’t know what’s going to happen next.

The problem is, we know what’s going to happen next, and Singer never gives it that drive. Nor does he do much else to keep the proceedings exciting. Just by-the-numbers, by-the-books, and that’s it.

Yawn.

So in a way, I guess I have to give Singer some credit for at least sticking to history as much as he could for the film’s sake, without ever allowing it to get too boring or preachy, but at the same time, I can’t help but wonder what the point was about this whole movie. We know that it wants to show us that Hitler was a bad man and that nearly everyone close to him wanted to stab him right in the back, but it doesn’t seem like anything new; person gets on top of their throne and now all of a sudden, everybody wants to take the throne away from said person. It’s a traditional story-route we’ve seen done a hundred times before, but I guess the only real aspect of this movie that separates it from the rest is that the person in that throne is, well, Adolf Hitler.

Oh, and also Nazis.

Consensus: Both Tom Cruise’s and Bryan Singer’s intentions are noble and make Valkyrie, for the most part, interesting to watch as the plot unfolds, but the problem is that we get what happens what happens at the end, and we can’t help but not really care for these generic characters more than we need to.

6 / 10 = Rental!!

“Huh? What are you talking about? These are our TPS Reports. Nothing else.”

Photo’s Credit to: IMDB, ComingSoon.net

2000s, 6-6.5/10, Movies 2008, Bill Nighy, Bryan Singer, Carice van Houten, Christian Berkel, Christian Oliver, David Bamber, Eddie Izzard, Florian Panzner, Halina Reijn, Jamie Parker, Kenneth Branagh, Kevin McNally, Movie, Movie Review, Movie Reviews, Movies, Terence Stamp, Thomas Kretschmann, Tom Cruise, Tom Hollander, Tom Wilkinson, Valkyrie, Werner Daehn

Wrath of the Titans (2012)

25 Comments Posted by Dan O. on February 17, 2014

No Kraken? Booo!

A decade after kicking some mighty and fine Kraken-ass, Perseus (Sam Worthington) settles down into a life that’s relaxing, full of joy and happiness, as he teaches his son the ways of the world. Everything’s going fine too, until he finds out that his father, Zeus (Liam Neeson), needs to be saved from his long-lost, rogue brother (Édgar Ramírez) and asshole-uncle Hades (Ralph Fiennes). As strong and powerful as Perseus might be, he can’t do it alone so he recruits Poseidon’s half-human son, Agenor (Toby Kebbell), and Queen Andromeda (Rosamund Pike) to join him as they fight through thick and thin, limb-from-limb, and even battle a Minotaur. Aw yeah! Maybe not as awesome as the Kraken, but aw yeah!

Even though I didn’t mind it, I can get why a lot of people hated the hell out of Clash of the Titans. It was dumb, a bit long and had CGI done in a way that makes me wonder if we’re still using MACs or not. However, I still can’t understand why the hell we needed a sequel to it, let alone, one that starred the same lead, nor featured the Kraken; because let’s face it: The only reason people waited around in the first movie, was just to see how awesomely cool and epic the appearance of the Kraken would be. Which it was, but does all of five minutes, make an-hour-and-a-half seem worth it?

I can’t quite come to answer that question because, as I said, I didn’t mind the first one but I can totally see and understand the disdain of hearing the news of a sequel. However, you have to think about Hollywood here for a second and realize that not only did the first one make a shit-ton of millions and millions of dollars in the States, but overseas, it made a ton more. So, therefore, you have to realize that of course Hollywood is going to do a sequel for the sake that the first made a bunch of movie, whereas also hoping that the people who ventured out to see the first one, however many times it might have been, will see the second one and probably be just as pleased. That’s exactly who this flick is made for, and that’s the only way this flick could really work.

“No please! Don’t squish me too hard! Jimmy C. still needs me for the next five or six sequels!

That’s why I sort of liked this one a bit more, which isn’t saying too much but is better than what I can say for a movie that’s still on my list for “Most Unnecessary Sequels of the Past Decade”. Even though I didn’t hate Louis Leterrier’s approach to the first movie, producers felt like it was time to re-vamp the series and give it a darker look, feel, touch and story, so therefore, they brought in Jonathan Liebesman to shake things up a bit and see where he could go with this. Liebesman is a welcome addition to this series, mostly because he knows exactly how to get this story off-and-running, right from the beginning.

As soon as we get introduced to what Perseus has been doing for the past couple of years, action just erupts out of nowhere, and we begin to see the old-school Perseus come back in full-form by tangling with a two-headed beast (three, if you count the mouth they have on it’s tail). Right after this fun beginning, the movie jumps right into the story and continues to pile and pile on the exposition, as if all the stories and legends we remembered from Greek History 130 and Herc’s Adventure, was all bullshit.

As mean-spirited as that may sound, the movie still doesn’t show much improvement over the first one in terms of it’s story and script. Of course, I wasn’t expecting a life-opening screenplay about what it means to be a father in the day and ages of Gods and evil forces running amok, but at the same time, at least give me something to hold onto when the action isn’t slamming me in the face. I can only handle so much subplots, stories about Gods, what they can do, and all sorts of philosophical speeches about the after-life that’s supposed to have a deeper-meaning than just, “I don’t want to die”.

That’s where the action comes in and take over what was already a pretty dialogue-heavy movie. Not much better, but slightly in the way that everything looks more polished, feels more thought-out and definitely has more fun with itself, even if it’s a tad too serious for it’s own good. I liked the first one for knowing that it was dumb, loud, and stupid, as if you were watching a B-movie on cable when you and your buddies were high, drunk, bored, or a mixture of all three. This one, however, drives itself down the darker, windier-road that’s all about showing emotions and sad things that not only bring you down, but try and make you feel like there’s more at-stake here when two people are going toe-to-toe in a scrap. It doesn’t work, and it feels like the movie’s trying a bit too hard. All that being said, the movie still has enough fun with itself to the point of where the dark-approach isn’t numbing or bothersome, it’s just more noticeable than it should be.

Nary a scratch and yet she’s in the middle of an intense, bloody battle where she’s doing half of the killing. Inspiration to women all over the globe.

The only real improvement in this flick that’s actually noticeable is that Sam Worthington does feel a bit more “in-his-mode” than he did with the last one. Here, he seems to actually enunciating the horrendous-dialogue he’s been given and seems to really throw himself into the action-sequences that call for more than just heavy panting and staring. Even though there seems to be little to no personality with his take on Perseus, at least Worthington shows us that he wants to be here because maybe all of those wads of cash that he was getting from four years ago, are finally running out and he needs whatever he can take.

Yup, that movie about those blue aliens was released four years back. Funny how time flies.

Returning with Worthington from the first movie, Ralph Fiennes and Liam Neeson seem to be having a bit more of fun as Hades and Zeus respectively, even if they too, do feel like they are slumming themselves down to really fit in with the pure-dumbness of this movie. Can’t complain about that too much, since it is a dumb movie, but a little bit more time and effort would have been greatly appreciated. Hell, if this dude can give us that, why can’t you, Oscar-nominated actors?!?!?

Since everybody from the first movie practically died in it, or re-thought their movie careers, there are new faces and names to be seen and heard which are more welcoming than I expected. Rosamund Pike is a nice addition as the sexy, fiery lady-warrior that isn’t taking anybody’s crap, yet, doesn’t have a problem showing that she can still flaunt it like the boys as well; Toby Kebbell brings a bunch of wit and charm to his role as Agenor, Poseidon’s human son; and Bill Nighy shows his bearded-up face for a wee bit as Hephaestus and has fun, makes his wisecracks, and goes on his own way, probably collecting a hefty paycheck or something, and making us all wish that he would just come back and give us more fun and entertainment. Can never get enough of Bill Nighy, now can ya?

Consensus: To say that Wrath of the Titans is better than its predecessor is stating the obvious, but the problems with that first one still do lie within the cracks and creeks of the script here, and are only ignored when there’s loud, hectic stuff happening on-screen, which makes it at least entertaining to sit-through, even if you sort of wish somebody would crack a smile or two.

5 / 10 = Rental!!

Two dudes who played Germans during that Holocaust movie unite!!

Photo’s Credit to: IMDB, Collider, Joblo, ComingSoon.net

2010s, 5-5.5/10, Movies 2012, Alejandro Naranjo, Avatar, Bill Nighy, Clash of the Titans, Danny Huston, Edgar Ramirez, Freddy Drabble, John Bell, Jonathan Liebesman, Liam Neeson, Lily James, Louis Leterrier, Movie, Movie Review, Movie Reviews, Movies, Ralph Fiennes, Rosamund Pike, Sam Worthington, Spencer Wilding, Toby Kebbell, Wrath of the Titans

I, Frankenstein (2014)

31 Comments Posted by Dan O. on February 2, 2014

A dash of Herman Munster would have went a long, long way.

200 years after being created, the monster of Dr. Frankenstein (Aaron Eckhart) is left to roam the world, all by his lonesome. It doesn’t help matters that he actually killed his creator’s wife, but hey, so be it. She had it coming to her I guess, right? Anyway, in the present day, the monster is found to be walking all throughout the world, where he will most likely live the last days of his life unhappy, pissed-off and always looking over his shoulder, just in case some sneaky, little demon thinks about trying something on him. One night, this does in fact happen, and the monster gets taken in as a part of the Gargoyle’s squad (lead by Miranda Otto); which is when he begins to be referred to as “Adam”. Still though, there is a catch to Adam getting recruited for this team: The Gargoyles themselves have been battling the demons (lead by Bill Nighy) for what seems like decades, and they want to put a stop to this now, all before the demons decide to expand their army through some tricky science.

I really did have a problem writing that plot up there and I’m absolutely positive that I didn’t get all of the right details in there. If you have a problem with that, then I’m sorry for you. Why? Well, because you shouldn’t care at all about this movie.

May I please have some ice with that six-pack, sire?

Okay, maybe that’s a bit too harsh; maybe you just shouldn’t care about what this movie is trying to do or even sets-up. All you have to do is watch the pretty light-show that the special-effects team has clearly put-on for us, and hope that it all works out for the best for you and for anybody else who you may be subjected to watching this with. That’s as much credit as I can give to this movie because, with the exception of a few fighting-sequences where the things light-up, blow-up and beat the shit out of one another, there’s not really much here that’s worth seeing. Most of that comes down to the poor quality of the movie itself, as well as the overall-tone, but mainly, it all just comes down to the simple question all movies should ask:

“Who is this made for?”

Because here’s the thing: If you’ve seen any bit of advertisement for this movie, you’ll know that it’s so clearly been given the “From the Producers of Underworld” tag-line, as if those are the movies you all need to see, just to ensure yourself that you’ll: a) have a good time with this; b) understand all of the mythological lore; and c) be somewhat indulgent and throw away your money towards this. For me, it didn’t work as I somehow, through someway, got in to see this for free, but it wasn’t worth it, people. The problem with this movie doesn’t stem from the fact that it blows, but that nobody seemed to have any clue what they were making, or whom it was that this was for. Kids are the only demographic out there I think that this would be solid for, but then again, I think not; reason being that there’s too much dialogue filled to the brim with exposition, people yelling at one another and a whole bunch of mumbo-jumbo that literally feels like it’s being made up on the spot.

So with that said: Sorry kiddies. Go home, and go check out Kate Beckinsale in leather as much as you can. It’s very much worth the experience. More so than this piece of junk.

And I know that I am sort of avoiding getting down to what makes this film so bad and so utterly useless, but there’s really not much else I can that hasn’t already been said, or wouldn’t be like any other “bad movie” made in the past five years or so. For starters, the movie definitely doesn’t have a single funny-bone to be found in its body, despite being all about a bunch of demons, gargoyles and monsters beating the hell out of one another in the center of a present-day England. Because we all know, that with a premise like that, you need at least a little bit of “winks” and “nods” here and there to make the pill a bit easier to swallow, but nope, this movie plays it head-on, straight and sophisticated, as if it was trying to make a point about how all beings on this planet should be treated as equals. Or something like that. Yes, I am reaching, but I’m putting a lot more effort into making this something interesting to talk about, than this film ever bothered to do.

Then, you also come down to the sole fact that this movie just is not fun, and it shows on each and everybody’s faces. Save for a few scenes where, as I mentioned before, the special-effects team seemed to absolutely be high off of their rockers and let the budget run through their action scenes, this movie is a deadly snoozer, that not even this very talented cast can save. But when watching something like this, it makes you ponder: Who the hell has naked pictures of Aaron Eckhart with a whole group of other naked men on their phone? Seriously, because from where I’m sitting right now, it seems like Mr. Eckhart is on a streak right now of some really shitty movies and it doesn’t seem like it’s stopping.

Granted, Olympus Has Fallen wasn’t all that bad (then again, nothing is with the presence of Morgan Freeman around) but Battle: Los Angeles, some Taken rip-off known as Erased, and the Rum Diary!?!? Holy hell, where’s Neil Labute when you need him the most!?!? And that’s the biggest shame of watching a movie like this – you know that Eckhart is very talented and can do wonders with some meaty-material when it’s thrown his way, but this right here, gets hard to watch. The guy’s definitely in good-shape for the type of role that would demand it, but the whole time, he has this stern, yet angry expression placed on his face where it looks like somebody took a dump in lunch-box, or just accidentally side-swiped his Convertible. Whatever the stipulation may have been, either way, the guy consistently looks pissed and shows barely any other emotion except for angry, with a hint of confusion.

The infamous “o-face” of a gargoyle.

Which would be fine, but the story constantly keeps on shoving down our throats that this guy is not only some sort of “human”, but is also capable of human feelings like guilt, decision-making and having a conscience when necessary. Makes absolutely no sense and while Eckhart, given a way, WAY better and possibly, a whole different movie altogether, would have done absolute wonders with. However though, that’s not what we get, and instead, we’re subjected to seeing Eckhart slum it up big time, cash-in a paycheck and lose some adoration and love from those who care for him the most: His fans. And yes, that includes me.

Come on, Aaron! You’re better than this, you charming, butt-chinned bastard you!

Everything I say about Eckhart, can be said the same for everybody else in the cast, even though nobody here is really all that excellent to begin with. Bill Nighy tries and tries again as the mortal villain demon to Eckhart, and definitely loves chewing this scenery up with all the force in his will, but can’t seem to get past the fact that this movie doesn’t have the time, nor the mood for that type of play-time; Yvonne Strahovski is easy-on-the-eyes, but isn’t all that good of a performer, and any chance of believing that she and Adam would actually hook-up, is totally lost once you realize that they share no chemistry together, nor does the film itself really want them to; Jai Courtney shows himself, once again, to be a charismatic action hero-type dude, but also falls victim to a movie that just gives him crap to work with; and lastly, Miranda Otto is probably the only one who comes away making her performance work, even if everybody around her is constantly referring to her as “The Queen of the Gargoyles”. Yes, it’s goofy, but it seemed like nobody wanted to laugh. They just wanted their paychecks so that they could go on home, call their agent and hopefully look for better, far more interesting work to handle. Basically, anything other than this crap.

Consensus: Despite being loud, hectic and sometimes in awe of its countless creatures it has on display, I, Frankenstein is still clunky, unexciting and way too lifeless to ever get anybody excited, nor happy that they’ve wasted time out their precious day to give this a watch. It’s only an-hour-and-a-half though, folks, so if you find yourself stuck in this, fall asleep and wake up for the action.

2.5 / 10 = Crapola!!

The only way to have Aaron Eckhart re-think his career-options is by LITERALLY strapping him to a chair and forcing him to watch his past four movies. It’ll work. Trust me.

Photo’s Credit to: IMDB, Collider, Joblo, ComingSoon.net

2-2.5/10, 2010s, Movies 2014, Aaron Eckhart, Aden Young, Battle: Los Angeles, Bill Nighy, Caitlin Stasey, Chris Pang, Deniz Akdeniz, Erased, Frankenstein, I, I Frankenstein, Jai Courtney, Kevin Grevioux, Luke Wright, Mahesh Jadu, Miranda Otto, Movie, Movie Review, Movie Reviews, Movies, Neil Labute, Nicholas Bell, Olympus Has Fallen, Paul Allica, Socratis Otto, Steve Mouzakis, Stuart Beattie, Taken, Underworld, Virginie Le Brun, Yvonne Strahovski

Arthur Christmas (2011)

14 Comments Posted by Dan O. on December 24, 2013

I always knew Santa was nothing more than a lazy tart.

It’s another year, which means, it’s another time for Christmas in which Santa (Jim Broadbent) and his illustrious team of trained and skilled elves find a way to deliver over millions of presents to children all over the world who’ve been clamoring for this moment for a whole year. However though, one present gets lost in the shuffle and come 4 a.m., Santa’s son Arthur (James McAvoy) takes notice of this and decides to gang-up together with his grandfather, Grand Santa (Bill Nighy), to deliver this one present, to this one child who would be absolutely heart-broken if they don’t receive it. Along the journey, the two run into quite a few problems, but back at home, their biggest problem may be Arthur’s older brother, Steve (Hugh Laurie), who is next-in-command for the position of being Santa Claus, and will stop at nothing to make sure that they don’t screw this plan up, nor that his dad doesn’t forget that he’s as smart, or as in the Christmas spirit as Arthur, despite not caring too much for cute, soft or cuddly things, like children, toys or the spirit of Christmas itself.

They wouldn’t work though. Too patriotic.

There’s a hard case to be made for most of the Christmas movies being currently made. Not only is it hard to stack-up against such holiday classics like Santa Clause is Coming to Town, or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, but it’s even harder to try and spin the simple tale of Christmas in a way that makes it fresh, new and cool, but still not forgetting about the happy spirits and thoughts that make the season itself such a joy to be alive in. But leave it up to those clever lads at Aardman Animations to pull something off in which they not only turn the usual, average story of the night of Christmas that we usually get, around, but also find a way to make us feel like we’re watching a Christmas movie made for the whole family, even if that said family may have to be British.

Still, the fact that this movie was made by Brits holds no meaning whatsoever, because it’s still a sweet tale that doesn’t really set out to offend anybody that believes in Santa, or those who don’t. Simply, those who come the closest to not believing in Jolly Old Saint Nick, are usually just a bunch of Scrooge’s who treat Christmas itself as a mission, rather than a time made up for simple fun, joy and all sorts of other happy thoughts. It will probably make the kid who is watching at home plenty of warm stomachs and smiles, while also letting the parents know that they have nothing to worry about as their child will still believe in the guy in the big red suit who comes down your chimney. And then they grow up and at age 11, they’ll get the bomb dropped on them and it won’t be pretty.

Trust me, it won’t and it may even damage their minds forever, and ever. Trust me.

Anyway, what this movie does do, and does well, in case you couldn’t tell, is that it gives off plenty of happy and cheerful vibes, the exact same vibes you expect from a Christmas movie. However, I will say that it does think it’s a bit funnier, than it actually is. Aardman Animations usually has a problem with this because while they make think that they’re being a bunch of cheeky, witty fellows, they don’t realize when they’re more or less throwing themselves out of a window for a laugh, and when they’re just making us laugh effortlessly. Lately, I’ve been having that problem with them more and more, and it’s starting to feel like they may be doing this on purpose more and more to appeal to a the children, in terms of content and quality, rather than the parents, where it’s usually all about the material and how smart it is that usually gets them. I don’t know, maybe I’ve had one too many viewings of Wallace & Gromit and Chicken Run in the past, but I know when my favorite kind of animated movies are being dumbed-down, and I’m afraid to say it, but I’m seeing that now with Aardman Animations. Still, maybe that’s just a problem I have and nobody else does, and if that’s the case, then so be it. I’m just keeping an eye out though, people. That’s all.

The voice-cast for this movie does feature plenty of famous names that even us Americans know and more than likely, can commit to memory, however, they all still do pretty well playing-up their characters for all that they are. James McAvoy, while he does get plenty to do as Arthur with his high-strung character, does get a tad bit annoying with how screeching high the pitch of his voice is. I get it, he’s something of a neurotic Brit with a good heart, but the act got old after awhile and it made me feel like McAvoy needed to smoke some weed, or something to call him down. Bill N

If he ended up being Santa, he’d probably tear all naughty kids a new one.

ighy also gets the same type of role as the Grand Santa, but he still has a lot of fun and is less annoying because he’s, well, Bill Nighy, man. Can’t ever go wrong with that lovely Brit.

And I don’t know if it’s just me or whatever, but having Jim Broadbent as Santa Claus would be a perfect move, not just on a movie’s part, but all malls spanning the globe. He’s got this lovable, warm and goofy voice that really does make us believe that he’s an aging, out-of-his-league Santa that’s getting down to his last couple of years of going out into the field, but also make us believe that he still has a good heart and does care for these little tikes still getting what they ask for, and as a result, still having the faith to believe in him. Once again, may just be my thoughts and my thoughts alone, but if I had Jim Broadbent was showing up to my local mall as Santa, I’d be there right away, no questions asked! But lord knows he wouldn’t be able to handle me sitting in his lap. Poor guy. Nevermind, probably wouldn’t work.

Consensus: It definitely may not be as funny as it thinks it is, nor as what we’ve come to expect from Aardman Animation’s past contributions to the animated world, but Arthur Christmas still gets everybody in the Holiday spirit that may work more for the kids, than the parents, but that’s all that matters in the end, you know?

7 / 10 = Rental!!

The truest Santa if I’ve ever seen one. Except Artie Lang definitely gives him a run for his money.

Photo’s Credit to: IMDB, Collider, Joblo, ComingSoon.net

2010s, 7-7.5/10, Movies 2011, Adam Tandy, Alan Short, Alistair McGowan, Andy Serkis, Arthur Christmas, Ashley Jensen, Bill Nighy, Brian Cummings, Bronagh Gallagher, Chicken Run, Clint Dyer, Cody Cameron, Danny John-Jules, David Menkin, David Schneider, Deborah Findlay, Dominic West, Donnie Long, Emma Kennedy, Eva Longoria, Finlay Duff, Hugh Laurie, Iain McKee, Ian Ashpitel, Imelda Staunton, James McAvoy, Jane Horrocks, Jerry Lambert, Jim Broadbent, Joan Cusack, Julia Davis, Kerry Shale, Kevin Cecil, Kevin Eldon, Kris Pearn, Laura Linney, Marc Wootton, Michael Palin, Miggie Donahoe, Movie, Movie Review, Movie Reviews, Movies, Pete Jack, Peter Baynham, Ramona Marquez, Rhys Darby, Rich Fulcher, Rich Hall, Robbie Coltrane, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Ryan Szamosszegi, Sanjeev Bhaskar, Santa Clause is Coming to Town, Sarah Smith, Seamus Malone, Seeta Indrani, Stewart Lee, Tamsin Greig, Wallace & Gromit

About Time (2013)

23 Comments Posted by Dan O. on November 3, 2013

I feel like plenty guys wish they could time travel, but only so they could bang the same hot girl, again and again.

Right as soon as Tim Lake (Domhnall Gleeson) turns the ripe age of 21, his father (Bill Nighy) lets him in on a little family secret: They can now both time travel. Of course, there are some rules; ones like not being able to travel to the future, only to places in time you’ve been to, and only that the males can perform this act. But regardless, it’s time travel, so take advantage of it while you can, right? Well, that is exactly what Tim does, but mostly so that he can pick up chicks and hopefully meet the love of his life, which he does do, and many of times too, with Mary (Rachel McAdams). Together, they build a relationship that Tim makes sure actually happens and stays put, but what he’s about to be awoken with is the fact that life shouldn’t always be re-played, over and over again. Sometimes you just have to live it the way it was meant to be lived, or else sometimes, bad things happen to the ones you love.

Since it seems like most rom-coms have been getting pretty stale as of late, it makes sense to throw the idea of time travel in there to spice things up, right? Well, yeah, because honestly, who doesn’t like a to manipulate time whenever they see fit? Especially when whomever it is that you’re manipulating time for just so happens to be Rachel McAdams, you know? So yeah, it’s definitely an inspired idea on the part of Richard Curtis, and one that he surprisingly sticks with for a good portion of the movie.

Shoes on the sandy beach? Must be a British thing.

What this flick does so well with its idea for the first 30-45 minutes or so, is that it actually sticks to the ground-rules it lays down and also has a bit of fun with them as well. Any guy that sees this movie (seeing as that the only way that they would go is if they got roped into seeing this with their spouse or significant-other), will probably be able to relate to Tim right off the bat because he does everything with the time travel ability, that every dude would do. He goes out to meet women, and if he fails at making an impression on them, he takes notice of what he failed at, goes back in time, tries it again, and sees what can happen with this new approach. This goes on for quite some time and it was fun to watch, while also being quite humorous since it seemed like it had this honest-take on what lies within female, and male attraction, and what dudes will do to win their “dream girl”.

Eventually though, the whole romantic aspect of this movie does pillow in, and even then, the movie was still working and having fun with itself, if instead, this time, in a more “cute” way. Tim and Mary do make an appealing couple, especially since they both seem to ACTUALLY like one another, which makes it easy for us to want to see them happy, together, and always remaining in love. It’s very hard for most rom-coms out there to make us actually believe in the couple without having to make us see why they are perfect for one another, but this film somehow achieves that goal. They aren’t each other’s soul-mates, however, they work well for the other and keep one another happy. That in and of itself, made me, the cynic, happy, so yes, it’s safe to say that this movie’s magic was working on me.

And then, somewhere right slap-dab in the middle, the movie changes from being a rom-com, to a very dramatic, very sentimental movie about the sake of family and why it’s so important. And in case you couldn’t tell just by how dramatic I’m making this seem already, this is exactly where the movie began to lose me.

Not only did the movie begin to lose me because the edge of what made the first-half of the movie so honest and hilarious in its own sly, British way, but because Curtis begins to betray his own idea that seemed so key in making the film appealing in the first place. People who aren’t supposed to be involved with the time travel, all of a sudden have the ability to and are able to do it as easy as 1, 2, 3.; and terrible stuff that is supposed to happen due to time itself being tampered with, somehow doesn’t happen or seemed to be affected in the least bit. Everything just sort of stays the same, without any real effect or punishment.

But this is where I began to realize that not only did Curtis seem to be slipping up on the idea of time travel, and how to use it in a smart, well-done way that worked for the heavy-thinkers and regular-viewers abound, but he didn’t even seem too interested with it anymore either. In a way, dare I say it, Curtis was just using the time travel as a crutch for when he really wanted us to cry or soak in a puddle of our own tears, or simply, when he ran out of well-written ways to make us feel emotional. This is also where the character of Mary sort of gets thrown to the background, and Tim’s dad comes more into play, which was all fine because Bill Nighy’s an awesome presence to have in any movie, but it felt like a sudden-switch that wasn’t deserved for many reasons; the main which being that it just didn’t make sense.

Yes, maybe that’s just me picking it apart a tad too much, but I still feel like they would have had some really good material if they just stuck to their guns and cut-down the running-time. I mean, seriously: a 2-hour rom-com is enough as it is, but a 2-hour romance-movie where one-half is a rom-com, and the other is a family-drama? Yeah, you just about lost me about 50-minutes in, which sadly, is true.

Men, word of the wise, just stick around and seem interested if your lady promises you “something special” by the end of the night. Only reason why you should stay and hold your hand under your chin.

Usually, the creepy ginger kid on the subway doesn’t get the girl, but that’s why it’s called the “fantasy genre”, eh?

Keeping this ship afloat, even when it seems to be cruising without him, is Domhnall Gleeson who really feels like the perfect male-lead in a rom-com like this. Not only is he a ginger, but he’s a self-deprecating one that’s easy to feel sorry for, and even hate when he makes a bone-headed move. However, you always like him because he’s a lovable guy with his heart in the right place and you know that, no matter where his life takes him, he will always strive to make those around him happy, pleasant, and want to keep on living life just as much as he wants to. Gleeson definitely isn’t a big name for anybody outside of London, but I feel like if this movie gets a big enough audience, then he may be somewhat of a name to look out for here in the States. Only time will tell on that. That was sort of a pun, by the way.

Somebody who is a big name in the States, and probably in London, is Rachel McAdams who feels like she’s in her comfort-zone playing the meek, quiet, and sincere Mary, which is okay and all, but it also does feel like a bit of a waste of a very good talent who can do so much more with a character when she’s given the opportunity to. But I guess, for now, McAdams will stick with these sappy, melodramatic romance movies so that she can get a big enough paycheck and do something daring with her career. I don’t know, something like, say, Passion? Okay, bad choice. Never mind. Just stick with what you’re good with gal.

And of course Bill Nighy’s in this, stealing the show like usual. Not much more needs to be said about that guy other than the fact that I am just happy to see him doing more and more stuff to make us audiences happy. Keep it going, Bill!

Consensus: As soon as About Time begins, it is inspired, determined, smart, funny and faithful to its idea, but then soon begins to escalate into melodramatic, over-familiar trappings of what can easily make any audience member cry their eyes out, even if it doesn’t make much sense as to how they got there in the first place. In other words, it doesn’t make sense.

5.5 / 10 = Rental!!

Must be saying something witty to her. Damn British bastards.

Photo’s Credit to: IMDB, Collider, Joblo, ComingSoon.net

2010s, 5-5.5/10, Movies 2013, About Time, Bill Nighy, Domhnall Gleeson, Lindsay Duncan, Movie, Movie Review, Movie Reviews, Movies, Passion, Rachel McAdams, Richard Curtis, Richard E. Grant, Richard Griffiths, Tom Hollander

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

38 Comments Posted by Dan O. on August 21, 2013

Whoever thought that walking, flesh-eating, pieces of meat could be so darn humorous!?! The Brits, that’s who!

Shaun (Simon Pegg) is your typical, 29-year-old Brit: He has a lousy job that nobody respects him at; he’s got a loser best friend named Ed (Nick Frost) who doesn’t clean up after himself and pisses off the other roommate; he’s having problems with his girlfriend Liz (Kate Ashfield) who just wants him to grow up and take charge for once; and his mum (Penelope Wilton)’s annual-visit is coming up, which he doesn’t mind showing up for, except that he hates his step-dad (Bill Nighy). And yet, as if his life couldn’t have gotten any worse or depressing enough, now human-beings are starting to keel over and become reanimated as zombies. No reason is given, but everybody is told to stay in their houses, lock all of the doors, and keep away from the zombies. However, Shaun and Ed do otherwise, and decide to fetch up all of their friends and family, go on down to the pub where they can stay safe, and also have a few pints and smokes as well. Sounds like the perfect plan, except they’re SO MANY ZOMBIES.

With The World’s End coming out this weekend, I thought it’d be best for me to not only catch back up on two of Edgar Wright’s movies that I haven’t seen in awhile, but review them and remind myself why I should be as hyped-up as everybody else in the world (especially the Brits) seems to be for the end with the Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy. So, with all of that out of the way, why not go back to a day when nobody outside of America knew who the hell Simon Pegg or Bill Nighy were, and when every horror-comedy had to live up to An American Werewolf in London.

Cause we’ve all needed a good reason to get rid of that dreadful mix-tape you got from your high school sweetheart.

I almost want to say “the finer days”, but they really weren’t because this movie came around and shook things up like never before. And believe it or not, but the horror genre hasn’t been the same since. Screw the comedy aspect, this is a horror movie through-and-through. It’s just done by a bunch of Brits, so obviously it’s got to have wit and sly humor! Duh!

Anyway, this is probably the 5th viewing I’ve had of this flick and I have to say, I could go 5, 10, hell, even 20 more times of seeing this flick and never getting bored or tired of it! One of the main reasons behind that, and with all of Wright’s flicks, is that there is always something new or inventive to spot-out, especially when you’ve seen what goes down and know what happens. Sometimes the lines are so ironic and so full of foreshadowing, you’ll wonder how in the world it got past you originally, but such is the talent of Wright and Pegg. I mean, Christ, it only took me to my 3rd viewing until I realized that the whole “Queen, pool-stick fighting sequence” was all choreographed to go along with the song. Call me slow, call me an idiot, call me a Yankee, call me what you will; but it slid by me, and you’re only a bigger fool if you don’t admit to at least missing a few jokes here and there. Even some of the most loyal natives of Britain will find themselves scratching their heads at a few references and that’s the beauty behind it all.

It’s hilarious, but in a way that doesn’t take any cheap-shots. Yet, it’s still able to make you hold your gut with the most simplest forms of comedy like slapstick, like farting, and even the simple, dart-accidentally-sticks-into-someones’s-head joke. Even then, it’s still very, very funny and continued to make me laugh, while also holding my attention up on the screen, just hoping that I didn’t miss out on something that everybody else seemed to understand or be laughing at. So glad I didn’t see this in a movie theater with a bunch of smarter, more-sophisticated people, or else I would have felt like an even bigger idiot than I originally did when I first saw this. But, nonetheless, it’s still funny any way you write it, and that’s some big, effin’ credit to Pegg and Wright, aka, the two script-writers who understand the horror/zombie genre, yet, at the same time, know its limitations to where it can get serious, as well as jokey, but also be quite effective.

And that aspect behind this whole movie is what really separates it from the rest of the pack of horror-comedy flicks, and will continue to do so until a better one comes along down the drain-pipe (highly doubt it, at least not for awhile anyway). Everything starts off all goofy and witty, as if everybody involved knows how far-fetched it is for these things to actually be waking up from the dead, and start eating/infecting others, but with also a smudge of realism, where the people involved (you know, the ones not zombified) could easily be doing the same things in real life, had this actually ever happened. They realize that even though the rest of man-kind may be screwed for eternity, you might as well suck it up and have a good time while you still can; hence why they go to the pub, plan on getting blitzed, and enjoy whacking the shit out of zombies whenever one gets in their way. However, it also gets very serious by the end, and you realize that not only is this a satire of what we expect from a horror movie, but it’s also its own horror movie in and of itself. Wright and Pegg not only conquered the unimaginable by having us laugh our assess off by the way these characters interact and make jokes, but also by having us scare our pants off and actually care about these people once they begin to kick the bucket, and get eaten alive. It’s not just a funny-take on the horror genre, but it’s also a love-letter as well; one that makes me really glad to know that George A. Romero actually loved.

When you’ve made that man happy and give his seal of approval, then you know you’ve done something right in this world.

Quite your moaning! *Reference

Hell, while I’m speaking about these characters, why not just talk about them right now, rather than wasting all of your time! It’s great to see how big Simon Pegg hit it after this movie, because not only is he very funny with his dry wit and humor, but he’s also very capable of coming off as the everyday, kind of loser that anybody could relate to or cheer on. Shaun is a bit deadbeat, but he’s a nice guy that you care for right away, and can’t wait to start seeing lay down the law when the dead begin to come alive. Same goes for Nick Frost as Ed, who keeps things light and punchy, whenever it seems to get all dark, cold, and surprisingly scary. Both have a lovable chemistry that makes me no less surprised knowing that it all came from their real life friendship. Good for those two, cause lord knows I would not be able to get along with any of my friends when I’m going all “method”.

And everybody else in this small, but effective cast is great, too. Kate Ashfield is a nice fit as Liz, Shaun’s present/ex-girlfriend that just wants him to grow up and stop being such a boob, which makes it easier for us to actually care about her, as well as them, since they not only seem good for each other, but may even make it out of this thing alive, together; Penelope Wilton is funny, but also quite endearing as Shaun’s clueless mum; Bill Nighy is a great fit as her husband/Shaun’s step-dad (and don’t get it mixed up!), proving to us that he’s got the comedic-chops to make this strict, weird dude work, but also give us a scene that touches us on more levels than we’d expect from a horror-comedy, especially because it happens so early in the game; Lucy Davis is fine and snappy as Liz’s roommate, who is also is a wannabe actress; and Dylan Moran is her sheepish, deuchey boyfriend who can’t stand up for himself, or anybody else for that matter, but seems to be taking Liz’s side the most out of everybody else’s. There’s plenty more cameos and hidden-roles here as well, but way too many to get into, just make sure you keep a close eye on some of these zombies; some may be famous faces, hidden underneath layers and layers of blood and gore, aka, make-up and prosthetic, but you catch my drift.

By the way, “Sorry”. Thought I’d leave it at that.

Consensus: Still funny, still smart, still quotable, and still able to be taken seriously enough as a full-on horror movie, regardless of how many times you see it, Shaun of the Dead did the horror genre a favor 9 years ago, woke everybody up out of their conventionality, made them work for their laughs and violence, and it hasn’t quite been the same since. Hallelujah!

9.5 / 10 = Full Price!!

Wait, did they steal this scene from Warm Bodies or something?

Wow! Like rip-off Warm Bodies, much?

Photos Credit to: IMDB, Collider, Joblo, ComingSoon.net

2000s, 9-9.5/10, Movies 2004, An American Werewolf in London, Arvind Doshi, Bill Nighy, David Walliams, Dylan Moran, Edgar Wright, George A. Romero, Jessica Hynes, Kate Ashfield, Lucy Davis, Martin Freeman, Michael Smiley, Movie, Movie Review, Movie Reviews, Movies, Nick Frost, Nicola Cunningham, Penelope Wilton, Peter Serafinowicz, Queen, Rafe Spall, Rob Brydon, Shaun Of The Dead, Simon Pegg, Sonnell Dadral, Tamsin Greig, The World's End

Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End (2007)

28 Comments Posted by Dan O. on July 2, 2013

Why couldn’t I have just boarded the ride instead?

After the last film took 2-and-a-half hours to get to no conclusion whatsoever, we once again follow-up with our heroes Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) and Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) as they venture out on a quest to free Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). Sparrow, in case you may not know this, made a deal with the devil, or should I say, The Flying Dutchman and Davy Jones (Bill Nighy). However, there’s more here than just that. Apparently everybody has their own demons to fight through and once you add the loser-government into the equation (lead by Tom Hollander), then hell is going to break loose. Oh, and apparently a Chinese pirate named Sao Feng (Chow Yun-Fat) has something to do with this story as well. Whatever that actually may be, I still do not know the answer to.

No matter how much trash this franchise gets, I’ve always been there supporting the hell out of these Pirates movies. I honestly could not give you a clear-reason as to why: maybe it’s because I saw the first one and loved it as a kid; maybe it’s because I went on the ride as a kid, only to see the movie the next year it came out; or maybe it’s because I’m a huge Keith Richards and Johnny Depp fan, and put together, then it’s just sex-at-the-cinemas for me? Whatever the cock-hold reason may be, I still find myself cheering for these movies, enjoying myself while watching them, and always going to bat for them, even as everybody tells me the same old excuses as to how they’re too long, boring, or tedious. And needless to say, after seeing this for the 3rd time; I have to say that they’re right, but also wrong as well.

Battle of the Outlandish Accents! GO!

What? You didn’t actually think I was going to give up the battle that easily, did ya? I’m still reeling for my pirates, even if they do overstay their welcome by about two-and-a-half hours.

Seriously man, this movie is way, way too fucking long and it almost never seems to end. After the movie starts off impressive with just the right air of mystery, intrigue, suspense, and action going on, the movie begins to get more and more bogged-down by unneeded subplots, love-triangles, exposition, and maps that are supposed to mean something and lead somewhere, but only serve as a plot-device to get every character in the movie to meet-up together in the end. And say what you will about the first one: at least it had a swashbuckling bit of a fun with itself, especially when it wasn’t taking-on needless myths and background stories to support all of the crazy shite these characters were getting involved in. Hell, even the second one, as long and over-stuffed as it may have been, was still fun and made you feel like all of the wait and suspense was worth it, especially once the last-act, slam-bang finale came in. Here, the movie makes you feel like you’ve been waiting forever, only to have you realize that you’re not even half-way through. You still have about an hour-and-a-half left to go, and you still have no idea what the fuck is going on.

That’s where I think Gore Verbinski really screwed the pooch with this movie: his pacing. The movie starts, and then it stops, and does the simple task of rinsing-and-repeating. It works for the first hour because you like these characters and this action enough to give it the benefit of the doubt, but once it gets past that hour-mark and you realize that you have a lot more on your hands than you actually took in, then you might start to get a little pissed, as did I, and this is coming from a person who’s seen this movie about three times by now. It never gets old to watch the movie, but next time I feel like watching this, I think I’m just going to go for the last 40 minutes, because that’s all that’s worth watching in this movie.

Man, I’d even say that the last 40 minutes of this flick is the only reason to even see this thing, especially considering how fun, epic, dark, and exciting it truly is. Verbinski takes his damn time getting to where the story needs to go and even though I’m still a bit left in the dark as to how the movie got where it did by the end and why, I still don’t care because it’s so much fun to watch, always offering something new to get a glimpse at again and again. Verbinski obviously took his budget into some serious-thought and shows us what he’s been up to, making “the most expensive movie ever made”. It’s as perfect as you were going to get back in the summer of ’07 and it’s a real shame for Disney and Verbinski that it wasn’t 3D when it first came out, or else this movie would have committed a mass-slaying at the box office. Seriously, it probably would still be making money, even to this day.

If that’s jail, Orlando’s screwed. Literally and figuratively speaking.

Okay, maybe that’s a bit of a ridiculous statement to make, but I think most of you out there smell what I’m trying to sell. The fact is that Verbinski knows exactly what he wants to do with all of the CGI and special-effects that he has packed into here, and it becomes less of a clutter of pretty-images, and more of a visual-feast that was deserved to be seen on the big-screen, as I did when it first came out. Twice. That said, thanks to the last 40 minutes for being so gosh darn fun, wacky, and wild (unlike the rest of the flick that’s surprisingly self-serious), the movie allows the “original” trilogy to go out with a bang. Ending with all of the subplots and myths finally put to be resolved or to rest and you feeling like you not only got through a fucking movie experience, this side of 2001, but one that was somehow boring, save for those said last 40 minutes.

But what would any Pirates movie be complete without jolly, good olde Johnny Depp in the iconic role as Jack Sparrow? Because, let’s face it, without him (both character and actor), this franchise would have all but folded by the summer of ’07. Nobody would have cared for another Pirates movie, people probably would have stopped wondering if Depp bothered to take showers anymore and there sure as hell wouldn’t have even been a strange fascination people had with pirates. The planned-franchise would have fallen flat on it’s face, died, and left in the banks of everybody’s memory; the ones who saw it, or didn’t even bother to see it. However, since Depp was in the lead role as Jack Sparrow and the character was as iconic as ever, the franchise was alive and well, and people expect this movie to be Depp’s crowning-achievement. It wasn’t, but at least the guy made the movie still all the better just by his presence being felt throughout the whole flick, regardless of if he was on-screen or not.

Actually, some may be surprised to know that with this flick, Sparrow is not on screen as much as you’d expect the franchise-character to be on. After the first 30 minutes, we finally see Sparrow and it’s Depp playing him at his nuttiest. The guy talks to himself, rambles on incoherently about lord knows what, and always seems to be back-stabbing anybody who takes his good faith into consideration. That’s just the sneaky-devil Jack Sparrow is and Depp plays him to perfection, still keeping him the most interesting and entertaining aspect of the whole movie. That’s a how a hard-feat for even the slickest-pro like Depp to pull off, but somehow he did it, made it work, and even got his own movie while he was at it. Then again, everybody practically predicted that one to happen.

Nice to see him show up, you know, when he wasn’t climbing coconut trees.

However, since Depp is the best part of this whole movie, that leaves all of his co-stars in the dust and left for scrutiny, no matter how hard each and every one of them try. The most noticeable of the co-stars left for scrutiny is definitely Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley who are both given more material here together or separate, than they should have ever been given. Don’t get me wrong, I like Bloom and Knightley and I think that they’re romance in the first two movies are what kept most of it humane and grounded in some sense of reality, but here, they’re just around and in love to serve a mechanism for the plot to make us happy, make us smile, and have us catch the ill-fated love bug. At the end, that latter aspect comes into play, oh so obviously, and is excruciating to watch, not because it isn’t romantic or anything; it’s just cheeky and trying way to hard to make us swoon for their love. It’s a lame way to end a romance that had so much promise, even from the first movie.

Geoffrey Rush is good once again as Barbossa and seems to be enjoying his stay in the role, even if he’s not as fun to watch because of the fact that he’s playing the good guy this time, and not the hammy-villain; there was also a lot of talk on this movie about Chow Yun-Fat’s role in the movie as the Chinese pirate, Sao Feng, which makes no sense because the dude’s barely in it and even when he is, gets annoying after awhile since he just goes on and on and on with the exposition nobody gives a shit about; and Bill Nighy is once again playing Davy Jones and plays him well, as you’d expect, but doesn’t really get the chance to let his character go any deeper than what was initially-promised. Same goes for the British actors who are all but wasted here in the forms of Tom Hollander, Jonathan Pryce, and especially, Jack Davenport who could have all been more interesting and compelling to watch on screen, but are never quite given that chance to shine and do their thang. Oh well. At least they collected a healthy paycheck from this, along with a new summer house.

Consensus: Rather than feeling like an epic event you have to see, whether it be on a big-screen at home or in a movie theater, POTC: AWE feels like it’s more of a chore to get through, rather than an actual fun, light, and entertaining movie, like the first two were, but without all of the heavy-baggage of useless subplots and exposition.

7 / 10 = Rental!!

Bigger bad-ass? Definitely that fireball in the middle. Rawr!

2000s, 7-7.5/10, Movies 2001: A Space Odyssey, Bill Nighy, Chow Yun-Fat, David Bailie, David Schofield, Geoffrey Rush, Gore Verbinski, Greg Ellis, Jack Davenport, Johnny Depp, Jonathan Pryce, Keira Knightley, Keith Richards, Kevin McNally, Lee Arenberg, Mackenzie Crook, Marcel Iures, Martin Klebba, Naomie Harris, Orlando Bloom, Pirates of the Caribbean, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Stellan Skarsgård, Tom Hollander, Vanessa Branch

Jack the Giant Slayer (2013)

40 Comments Posted by Dan O. on March 1, 2013

“Giants, ain’t got shit on me!”, says the little kid from About a Boy.

Jack (Nicholas Hoult) is a young farmer who ends up taking a bribe from a snarky monk, for some magic beans. Jack doesn’t think much of it, until he goes home, drops some of the beans, and it rains. Yeah, you know what happens next. The beans end-up leading to a land populated by giants with a taste for human flesh, and they have the princess (Eleanor Tomlinson), captured and it’s up to Jack and the King’s royal-men to save her and get rid of those damn giants!

In a way, I can totally see why so many people aren’t looking forward to this movie as much as I was would be expecting. It does seem silly, it does seem stupid, it does see overly-reliant on CG, and does seem like a random-time and place for a movie like this to come out, but that’s all that advertising. That’s why, in another way, I have no idea why so many people aren’t looking forward to this. I mean, first of all, it’s directed by Bryan Singer, it’s written by Christopher McQuarrie (the two did the Usual Suspects together), and it features a new-take, on a classic-tale but told in the type of way that doesn’t alienate older-viewers, but doesn’t cater to the younger-ones either. It’s somewhere in there, slap-dab in the middle and it works perfectly for a movie that could have easily gone South, real quick, had they decided to take the darker-route. Thankfully, they didn’t and stayed straight to the source-material that I’m sure all of us grew-up loving. If not, get off your asses, and read that shit! You haven’t experienced childhood until you have.

Anyway, aside from that point, I have to say that this movie is a huge bag of fun in the sun! Okay, maybe no sun is involved because it is the beginning of March, but nonetheless, it’s still a hell of a wild ride, straight from the imaginative-mind of Bryan Singer. Here’s the thing about this movie: it doesn’t cater to a certain crowd, yet it’s the type of film you can bring your kids to, mainly boys. Why? Because it’s got all of the right-ingredients that a boy at that age should oh so desire: action, fun, humor, giants, fart jokes (not as eye-rolling as it sounds), swords, guys speaking in funny-accents, and a whole lot more where that came from. If that doesn’t sound like the perfect piece of cake to allow your kids to take a bit out of, I don’t know what the hell will!

WEAK!! Start killing giants you bastard!

WEAK!! Start killing giants you lil’ bitch!

Some may rag on this flick for not going any-deeper than just being a loosey-goosey, fun, and wild romp about the Jack and the Beanstalk-tale, but who needs that when you have Bryan Singer just playing around with the material that it seems like he actually enjoys? Seriously, the guy is having a ball with this material, and in-return; so are we. He never lets loose of the action and never loses his mind on what type of movie he’s making. He’s always making a wacky and crazy movie that has a bunch of people, hunting-down giants, and sometimes, vice versa. You can’t ask for much more, unless you want the Usual Suspects-Singer. If you go in and expect that type of Singer, then you’re going to come out of this with a huge slap-mark on your face saying, “WRONG!!”. It’s just a fun-as-hell movie. That’s it.

I could beat this horse to death with all of the shit that I’m saying, but it’s the truth: this movie is just fun. Take for instance, the fact that I saw this at a 11 a.m. screening on Saturday, not expecting anything other than a movie that would be okay, so I could sleep my hangover away. However, that’s where the surprise came. The movie woke me up instantly, and didn’t lose me for a single second. Sure, it started-off pretty slow and made me feel like I was in for a ride that I would most likely doze-off for, but as soon as Jack gets those treacherous beans, it’s a total and complete party, right from there. Singer never loses the sense or style of that party, and always kept me alive, awake, happy, and above, entertained. I can’t give this any more credit. Just go see this movie and be ready to see the return of Bryan Singer. The guy knows exactly what he’s doing with a story, how he wants to film it, and how he wants to keep the spirits alive while doing-so. If there is any increment in my mind that the guy can handle the next X-Men, this is the reason why I think so. Now, I just cannot wait!

As for the cast, they all seem to be up-to-pace with all of the fun and wild times that Singer’s having behind-the-camera. Nicholas Hoult is charming as the naive Jack that has to grab his pair, and beat the shit out of some giants. He does do some of that, but not enough to where I was feeling like, “Wow, this character really is a slayer.” Don’t get me wrong, Hoult’s good and all, it’s just that I wish Jack was doing more slaying of giants, like the title promised.

Instead of Jack doing all of that bad-assery business of slaying the fuck out of giants, all of that is left up to Elmont, playued by the awesome Ewan McGregor. Say what you will about the questionable-choices the guy has made in the past, but Ewan McGregor is a very, very likeable presence that always keeps my attention on him whenever anything’s going down, and he just so happens to be located in the same scene. McGregor seems to be having so much fun playing the charming, but bad-ass soldier that doesn’t take “no” for an answer, and never lets his target get away. He’s not as sadistic as I may make him sound, but McGregor does have a cool character that can kick ass, take names, chew bubblegum, and spew-out hilarious one-liners, like nobody’s freakin’ business. Where the hell was that in all of the Star Wars movie, dammit!!?!?

“Eat our shit, Peter Jackson!”

Stanley Tucci is another one that seems to be having a lot of fun in his role, but instead, is more of the bad-guy here and absolutely revels in it. Tucci is a great screen-presence to have on-screen, but to watch him chew the hell out of the scenery and spit it back out, was just a blast to see, and probably an even bigger-blast to perform. Tucci’s good at playing weird-o bad guys (*cough* The Lovely Bones *cough*), but a simple one that’s just evil for the darn-sake of being evil, is even better in my book. The only one who feels like a bit of a waste is Ian McShane, who really seems like he just wants to break-out his shell, get loose with it, and just start being the bad-guy himself. Instead, he’s all wrapped-up in that King’s armor that makes him look more like a freakin’ egg than any type of ruler, but hey, at least we get to see those devil-ish eyes. God, they still scare me to this day.

Consensus: Jack the Giant Slayer is not what you think it to be from the misleading trailers and advertisements It’s not a waste of time, it’s fun, it’s exuberant, it’s made for the whole family, it never loses it sense of joyfulness and even better, just never loses what it’s all about in the first-place: complete and utter entertainment. Don’t bother with the 3D, but if you’re bored and got nothing else better to do with your life than watch highlight clips of the Oscars, then give this bad-boy a shot. You won’t be disappointed.

8 / 10 = Matinee!!

Yup, I just crapped my pants.

2010s, 8-8.5/10, Movies 2013, About a Boy, Ben Daniels, Bill Nighy, Bryan Singer, Caroline Hayes, Christopher McQuarrie, Duncan JC Mais, Eddie Marsan, Eleanor Tomlinson, Ewan McGregor, Ewen Bremner, Ian McShane, Jack the Giant Slayer, John Kassir, Lee Boardman, Movie, Movie Review, Movie Reviews, Movies, Nicholas Hoult, Russell Balogh, Stanley Tucci, Star Wars, The Lovely Bones, The Usual Suspects, Warwick Davis, X-Men

Notes on a Scandal (2006)

5 Comments Posted by Dan O. on November 4, 2012

Luckiest freakin’ student ever!

When Sheba Hart (Cate Blanchett) joins St George’s as the new art teacher, Barbara Covett (Judi Dench) senses a kindred spirit. But Barbara is not the only one drawn to her. Sheba begins an illicit affair and Barbara becomes the keeper of her secret.

Honestly, what could would ever want to pass up on a chance to sleep with their teacher, especially if that teacher was Cate Blanchett?!? I mean come on people, let’s be real here.

Going right into this flick, I was expecting something that was going to be pretty generic with a good cast to elevate it all. However, aside from the cast, it’s also the writing that really works here and keeps everything tight, just when it starts to loosen up a bit. The film starts off with a very normal pace with a chronicle of these two ladies becoming “friends”, but then when the affair is caught by Barb, all hell breaks loose and we have ourselves a psychological thriller that didn’t really stop moving. May get a tad predictable at times, but you’re able to get past that thanks to everything else that’s going on

Everything is very dark and eerie in this flick because it touches on a lot of topics like pedophilia, adultery, and lesbianism but it still somehow maintains a very dry sense of wit that made me laugh at times. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that this is a dark comedy, but I will say that it catches you off guard sometimes by how witty it can be, but you still can’t get past the fact that this flick continues to go deeper, deeper, and deeper into its story until there’s barely anything left in it. A very fine script and the direction from Richard Eyre, may not be anything special but at least he isn’t trying to get involved with the story too much. He just lets it play-out like it should.

My main problem with this flick was that the whole reasoning as to how this affair started in the first place seemed a bit unbelievable. First of all, Sheba does not seem like the type of older gal that would develop a school girl crush on a boy, and then to start shacking the high hoots with him either. It seemed like Sheba herself, was a little too intelligent and mature for this type of behavior but then again, I can’t say this too much because certain shit like this does happen in real-life. Pissed that it doesn’t happen at my school but teacher-student banging does go down none the less.

What went along with this problem was that the reasoning Sheba gave as to why she wanted this kid in the first place, was because she felt lonely with her husband, who’s 20 years older than her, and the family she had to raise with him. Yeah I get this, but the film barely shows us any of these problems ever happening until later on in the flick when her mind starts to get a little crazier from all of the constant paranoia of being found-out. Maybe if they touched up on this a bit more, I would have been able to believe it all but it came off as a bit of a stretch or a lame excuse for this chick wanting to bone a younger kid. It also didn’t help that the kid was a terrible actor, and I swore to God that if he said the word “miss” in his fake-ass Irish accent, I was going to punch the screen hoping to get a piece of him too. Dreams never do come true!

However, all of those problems are almost forgotten about whenever I think about the performances here from the trio of leads here. Judi Dench is very unglamorous as Barbara because she’s sad, lonely, old, looking for love, but also very, very, very creepy deep-down inside. She’s pretty much playing a crotchety old hag that has a lot more heart and warmth to her that makes you feel some sympathy for her character but then you also start to feel like you can’t trust this chick and neither can any other character in this flick either. Dench definitely takes over the screen every time she gets a chance to, and shows just how creepy of a character she can be.

Cate Blanchett is also a revelation as Sheba, one of her more unsympathetic character roles. Blanchett is constantly on fire with this character because she’s sad, lonely, and in need of love, but in a very different way. Unlike Barbara, Sheba is a character that you can trust in what she’s going to do next and even though Dench gets a lot of crazy material t0 work with, Blanchett is still allowed to let loose as well especially when it’s on each other. I don’t know what it was here, but there’s just something so awesome and perfect about watching two respected actresses like Blanchett and Dench go all-out on each other in a cat fight that features barely any physicality; all verbal baby.You can’t also forget to mention the always perfect, Bill Nighy as Sheba’s husband. Nighy almost steals every scene he has on-screen with each of these two chickies, but it’s by the end when all of the emotions of this character start to pour out is when you realize that this character has a lot more to him than you would expect. After seeing him and Dench try their hardest to be happy and make love in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, I think it’s pretty safe to say that they have both regained my respect for them.

Consensus: Notes on a Scandal may have problems with believablity, but where it succeeds in is perfect performances from its cast, an script that continues to go farther down into what it’s trying to explore, and a plot that may be generic and simple at times, ends up being very unpredictable and thrilling.

8/10=Matinee!!

2000s, 8-8.5/10, Movies 2006, Alice Bird, Andrew Simpson, Anne-Marie Duff, Bill Nighy, Cate Blanchett, Emma Kennedy, Judi Dench, Juno Temple, Max Lewis, Movie, Movie Review, Movie Reviews, Movies, Notes on a Scandal, Richard Eyre, Tameka Empson, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

Total Recall (2012)

24 Comments Posted by Dan O. on August 5, 2012

Hey, at least we got the three-boobed hooker.

Colin Farrell stars as Doug Quaid, a factory worker who decides to turn to undergo a procedure to turn his dream of being a super-spy into real memories to escape his frustrating life. But when the operation goes terribly wrong, Quaid becomes a hunted man and the line between fantasy and reality gets blurred.

The original 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger/Paul Verhoven sci-fi classic Total Recall, was a great movie but it was never screaming “Remake!”. Actually, it holds up pretty well on its own terms but I was able to give this film a try all because of the cool look, awes0me special effects, and two sexy leading ladies involved. The latter one never comes into play unless its with unnecessary remakes like this.

This remake is directed by Len Wiseman and his visual direction, is spectacular. This whole film is one big CGI-trip right from this dude Wiseman’s mind but it looks superb, almost like you’re in this futuristic Earth with these characters. Some people will be bothered by the CGI and special effects and say that it’s there too much, but it never looks goofy and it always makes everything look a whole lot cooler than I expected. Something exactly this film needed in the first place, and thankfully, had.

Other than looking pretty, Wiseman also makes this remake a whole lot of fun that just would not quit it with the action scenes. There’s a lot of mono-e-mono fights that happen here, plenty of shoot-outs, a cool car-chase, and even a chase through an elevator shaft that seems to never end, and they all add a whole bunch of excitement to this film and it never seems boring because of this. Wiseman brings an element of fun to these action set pieces, and because of that, my attention never fully left the screen. Sometimes here and there, it felt like Wiseman was just adding another random scene of action in here just to keep things alive and well, but I can’t really get on his case too much for that since it did so well with what it had and there’s never, ever a problem with just trying to have some fun every once and awhile. It’s not your typical, old Arnie fun, but it’s fun none the less.

Problem is, as fun and exciting as this action may be, there’s always one element that makes it all feel somewhat empty: tension. Seeing the original, knowing everything that happens, and why it does in that movie, I went into this flick expecting no surprises either, which is exactly what I got. There’s only a couple of things that are different from this movie and that movie (no Mars, the explanation of what happens to this guy Quaid and why, etc.) but never was there some sort of twist/turn in the story that I wasn’t already expecting. There was probably only one scene where I actually felt some type of tension in this story as I didn’t really quite know was going to happen next in this situation these characters got caught up in, but sadly, it ended predictably, as this film did. Everything just happened and went by the same exact-formula the original went by and even though not all remakes can just totally change all of their source material just because they want to be different, there still has to be a level of unpredictability to what’s going to happen next and how. But if you don’t have that, then just feast your eyes on plenty, and I do repeat, plenty of eye candy.

It’s also weird that this film is almost exactly like the original, because everybody involved with this film has gone on the record to say that they aren’t going to make this like Arnie’s classic film at all, which is obviously bullshit. The only times that this film actually tries to connect with the original, is when they randomly have the three-boobed hooker show up even though it makes no sense in this story because there are no mutants in this world. Just some very sad and poor people. But what that scene brought, was a certain level of humor to it, the rest of this film has barely any or none of that. It’s a shame too, because as cheesy as some of the humor in the original may be, they still has some classic Arnie lines that are worth reiterating almost 22 years later, but that’s what this film never brings to the table. There’s never any of that wry humor that livens things up quite as well as those classic lines did in the original, and I get it, it would have totally seemed misplaced in a film like this but there could have been something a little light that could have shown up.

I can’t remember the last time that Colin Farrell has ever been the main actor in a mainstream flick, but I can say that I have at least missed him in these types of roles since he’s good here as Douglas Quaid. Let’s face it, Farrell is not as colorful or wild as Arnie, but for what it’s worth, Farrell does a good job at making us like this guy by what he can do with his fists and also at least care for him just a teentsie-tiny bit when the shit starts to hit the fan for him. His character was maybe a little more dull than the original, but then again, I wasn’t expecting to just fall in love with this guy and almost tear up whenever danger came his way. Maybe that’s a little too drastic for a film like this, but you get what I mean.

Jessica Biel cooked some behinds as Melina and may not be as bad ass as I would have liked for her to have been, she still at least had some sympathy to her that made me care for her character and understand why she would do everything in her power to protect this Quaid guy; Bryan Cranston appears in his 200th film this year here with his performance as the evil mofo, Cohaagen, and it’s sad to say that we don’t get enough of him but with what we do get from him, it’s pretty good; and Bill Nighy shows up for about a scene and is good, but just like Cranston, not enough of him either. Still pissed to hear that Ethan Hawke got his cameo cut but hopefully he’ll all show them when it comes time for him and his movie Sinister.

The one high-spot of this whole cast would probably be Kate Beckinsale who plays Quaid’s wife/hunter, Lori. Beckinsale is a chick that I’ve never been too fond of when it comes to her acting, but she’s able to do something great here and that’s play a villain that you can never trust. Beckinsale actually seems like she’s having a ball with this role as the baddy and gets to use a lot of her bad ass fighting skills to show it off and also have that sexy little change in her accent from American to British that always works when it comes to villains. I would like to say that I look forward to seeing Beckinsale in the future, but the fact is, I don’t really care all that much because as good as she may be here, she’s still going to churn out another crappy Underworld movie within the next year or so and I’m going to be sitting there wondering what all of this fascination about her is. Oh wait, she’s really, super-duper hot. Never mind!

Consensus: With plenty of fun action to keep your mind wired and wonderful special effects to keep your eyes glued onto the screen, Total Recall does it’s job in being an entertaining piece of Summer action, but what it does suffer from is barely little or no surprises whatsoever in the story, and just sort of pales in comparison to the original Arnie classic that is still fresh in peoples minds, believe it or not. It’s like re-booting Spider-Man, oh wait….

6.5/10=Rental!!

2010s, 6-6.5/10, Movies 1990, 2012, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bill Nighy, Bokeem Woodbine, Bryan Cranston, Colin Farrell, Ethan Hawke, Jessica Biel, John Cho, Kate Beckinsale, Len Wiseman, Movie, Movie Review, Movie Reviews, Movies, Paul Verhoven, Sinister, Spider-Man, Total Recall, Underworld, Will Yun Lee

Hot Fuzz (2007)

28 Comments Posted by Dan O. on June 15, 2012

Made me really want to watch ‘Bad Boys II’. I never want to feel like that again.

Police Constable, Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg) is good at his job, so good in fact, he makes everyone else look bad. As a result, his superiors at the Met have decided to sweep him under the carpet. So it is that London’s top cop finds himself in the sleepy West Country village of Sandford, where everything is a little too nice…

That synopsis doesn’t sound like anything too special but trust me, when you have the creative minds of Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg working together, special is what you get.

The film is an obvious homage to all of the fun-loving buddy cop films of the 70s, 80s, 90s, and today, but it also seems like it has a lot of love for the genre too. What’s so funny about this movie is that almost every scene features something goofy going on whether it’s a slight visual gag, recurring joke that seems to pop up everywhere, and in-jokes that will test your movie geekdom to it’s full limits. You’ll hear somebody utter a phrase or line-for-line dialogue from another flick or you’ll even see a scene from another recreated here and if you don’t get it right away, it’s not that funny, but if you do get it (like I did), you’ll be laughing your ass off the whole time. What was also rare about this comedy was that almost every jokes stays here in this flick and somehow finds it way of popping up later on in the flick and tying altogether with the plot.

Everybody knows how a cop movie goes but this film loves to toy around with that idea and just make it even more fun to actually watch them. Of course they mess around with the cliches and conventions that usually come with these types of films but it’s not all about that, these guys really do love these films and show how much fun they can be even if they are referring to such “classics” as ‘Point Break’ or ‘Bad Boys II’. If you don’t get the joke with that last statement then this surely is not the film for you. Then again though, a lot of this humor is very British in its own way, which I usually don’t understand but other times I do and laugh my ass off at so it’s sort of strange with me.

My only problem with this flick is that when the action comes around here, and it does come around big-time, they over-do the whole “shaky cam” element a little too much. I get that this flick was obviously trying to make a little joke about the constant zooming in-and-out and the shakiness of the action movie cameras, but the action would have been so much better if they didn’t feel the need to resort to this and just give me a head-ache. It’s a minor complaint but a complaint none the less.

Simon Pegg plays Nicholas Angel, but not in a Simon Pegg-ish way though, he’s actually very much the straight guy and let’s everybody else do the humor which was a very smart idea. Pegg does have an occasional few moments where he lets loose just a bit but he’s not the usual, cheeky guy we all know and love him for in other flicks. He may not be the easiest to like here but that provides a lot of love for Nick Frost as his likable cop-buddy, Danny. Frost is such a joy to watch here and brings home the laughs just about every opportunity he gets and the chemistry between the both of them are always great no matter what flick they’re in and that’s no different here. These guys are pure comic gold when they are with each other no matter what it is that they do and I hope they never stop at it either.

The rest of the cast is also a lot of fun and features a lot of familiar faces playing against type. Former 007 Timothy Dalton was absolutely hilarious as the dude who owns the local supermarket, and drops down the lamest but funniest puns I’ve ever heard considering they go so well with everything else that’s going on here; Jim Broadbent is very goofy, as he should be with his performance here as the Sandford’s chief of police; and there are so many others here that make this flick work and I honestly don’t want to spoil them but you’ll see what I’m talking about once they pop-up.

Consensus: Hot Fuzz is a lovable, entertaining, and very funny homage to the buddy-cop genre with plenty of in-jokes and hilarious performances and cameos that will just make the film better and more impressive as it goes along.

9/10=Full Price!!

2000s, 9-9.5/10, Movies 2007, Bad Boys II, Bill Nighy, Billie Whitelaw, Edgar Wright, Edward Woodward, Hot Fuzz, Jim Broadbent, Martin Freeman, Movie, Movie Review, Movie Reviews, Movies, Nick Frost, Olivia Colman, Paddy Considine, Point Break, Rafe Spall, Simon Pegg, Steve Coogan, Timothy Dalton

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2012)

7 Comments Posted by Dan O. on May 5, 2012

Just stay where you are British people. Nobody else needs your wit!

This tells the story of a group of misfit British pensioners who are enticed to retire to a fabulous hotel in Jaipur, India, where they are promised to live a life of luxury for a bargain price. Upon their arrival, they are dismayed to find that restoration of the once elegant Marigold Hotel has stalled.

With ‘The Avengers’ coming out this weekend, it seems like all of the giddy youngsters, action-happy teens, and die-hard nerds will all be flocking to the theaters, so what about the older peeps out there? Well, they get junk like this.

Director John Madden obviously knows what he’s doing with any given material (hell, the guy won an Oscar for it) but for some reason, he kind of loses his touch here. The whole script is pretty much one big message of showing how old people can be young again, and that’s not so bad but the film tries to show that in so many cheesy and obvious ways that it starts to become really eye-rolling after awhile. There are a couple of moments where the film shows some warmth between these characters as they partake in everyday, shoot the shit conversations, but when this film starts to get emotional and trying to have us cry, then it just gets schmaltzy.

There are barely any surprises here whatsoever, and even though I don’t need to see something new or original in every movie I check out, I would still like to see some surprises with this story. However, I barely got any of that and plenty of it just feels like a bunch of bad TV-movie clichés Actually, that’s what bothered me the most about this flick because even though they definitely do have genuinely funny moments here, they are all out-numbered by all of the other times that this movie wants to show us how funny and goofy old people can be. Better yet, how funny and goofy old, BRITISH people can be. Doesn’t work and rather than actually doing something new with its source material, the film just throws us down over-used jokes like old people using Viagra. Really!??! Come on!

Even though the source material itself may fail, it definitely does look pretty. It’s pretty much expected that whenever you film in India, your film is going to look 10 times better than if you were to film in say, Wisconsin. Everything is so bright, everything is so colorful, and everything is always so hectic, where everybody is constantly moving in and around that it almost feels like people are all running away from Udaipur, to survive the fore-coming apocalypse. This film definitely has a lot of beauty to it and may even inspire you to go out there and check everything out for yourself, even though I don’t really think that they would have retirement homes as good as the one they have here.

However, all of those beautiful images are pretty much put to waste once again, when Madden decides to get really, really corny with us. Madden plants a lot of the obvious images like children playing and being happy, or a bird flying in the sky, or even the trees’ leaves, flowing in the wind. It’s all so damn obvious and gets worse and worse just as this film continues to constantly hit us over-the-head with everything here. Dammit Madden! I mean ‘The Debt’ was no classic by any means, but at least it was a lot better than this crappola.

Of course, everybody who wants to see this film, is mainly attracted because of the cast on display here and even as good as some of these all-stars may be, they still can’t seem to get by a shitty script such as this. Judi Dench is lovely as Evelyn, but all of her problems in life are as boring as watching paint dry; Bill Nighy brings a lot of his usual, dry wit to his role here as Douglas, but can’t seem to bring too much character to somebody as dull as this dude; Ronald Pickup is charming as the old, horny dude named Norman, even though he is very under-used; Maggie Smith is pretty much a bitch to everybody around her about 90% of the movie, and the other 10% is some cheesy, emotional arc to her that seems to have come out of nowhere; Celia Imrie plays Jean, and seems like she was totally misplaced in a movie about a bunch of boring, old people; and Penelope Wilton is the most annoying character here as Jean.

The only two performances that I think actually brought something here were the ones given by Tom Wilkinson and Dev Patel. Wilkinson gives this very sweet, charming, and mysterious performance as a dude that always seems up to something but it’s not quite known and he plays that up perfectly. Patel is also very spirited in a role that sees him bringing out a lot of comedic energy in his performance, as well as always bringing me a smile to my face even if his romance seems to get very stupid and non-meaningful. Two good performances still don’t make up for a whole bunch of lousy other ones though.

Consensus: The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel looks pretty, but is still one of the cheesiest and schmaltziest stories I have seen in quite some time, with a very talented cast that is pretty much wasted, and a bunch of sappy moments that show us how you can always live young and have fun. Yeah I know how! Go see The Avengers!

3/10=Garbage!!

2000s, 3-3.5/10, Movies 2012, Bill Nighy, Celia Imrie, Dev Patel, John Madden, Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Movie, Movie Review, Movie Reviews, Movies, Penelope Wilton, Ronald Pickup, Sid Makkar, Tena Desae, The Avengers, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, The Debt, Tom Wilkinson

The Constant Gardener (2005)

6 Comments Posted by Dan O. on February 5, 2012

The white man always seems to come out on top.

Justin Quayle (Ralph Fiennes), a member of the British High Commission based in Africa, launches a quest for the truth and begins his own international investigation when his wife (Rachel Weisz) is murdered. Not even the rumors of his wife’s infidelity will stop him from uncovering what really happened to her — a conspiracy that’s much more dangerous than he ever imagined.

Director Fernando Meirelles (‘City of God’, ‘Blindness’) is a dude who knows how to make dark and intense thriller-like films, even more dark with the way he films everything. With this film, he uses those same techniques with a lot of heavy-shaking, moving, and use of the hand-held camera to have us feel like were there whether we’re running through a village or going through the streets of Britain. This film goes practically all-over-the-world and it’s great how the film keeps that beautiful look of barely any color and color together.

When it comes to the structure of this film it’s a real treat as well because there are so many ways how this story could have gotten all jammed up with it’s several different story-lines, that it could have easily just jumbled through all of the details. This film is a suspense and political thriller, mixed with romance, espionage, and social issues, that are sometimes told in flash-backs and sometimes have the past and present switching back-and-forth many times. If that sounded very confusing for you, I don’t blame you but it surprisingly isn’t as bad as it may sound.

The film handles just about everything in this film with a great deal of care to where we actually feel enough for the romance to root this guy on as he fights to find out what happened to his wife, and we also have enough suspense and mystery to keep our heads in this whole story as its playing out. The flash-backs were used quite a bit in this film but it didn’t bother me to the point of where I actually wish they got on with the actual story because it added a lot more depth to these characters and the story, and without that, this film would have just been another generic thriller.

However, where the problem lies with this film is that without me giving any spoilers away, I must say that there are these notes that come into play with this film, and they seem unbelievable. These letters, that are confidential but you know they don’t stay that way for long, basically blurting out all of the bad things that will put out all of these bad guys’ careers and lives in jeopardy. If my life was in such jeopardy because of a certain thing I did and nobody knew about it, I would not by any means ever write out a note saying to someone what I did. I mean have these people ever heard of a casual conversation.

Also, another problem with this film is that I feel like there were way too many bad guys in the first place. I know this seems like a really silly complaint, but there were so many dudes names who were brought up, that I didn’t know who was good, who was bad, who was doing what, and who was to be blamed for this chicks death. I mean two or three bad guys would have been fine, and judging by just looking at the cast you can already tell who they are, but if you have anymore than three, then it gets a little out-of-hand and confusing.

Ralph Fiennes does a great job as Justin Quayle because this guy does a total 180 in this film, and it seems so believable all because of Fiennes. Justin starts out as a proper gentlemen, who is very soft-spoken and meek, but then when he finds out that his wife was killed in such a nasty way, something within him just changes and he gets very mad very quick. When this guy is pissed, you can tell but there are also some rather emotional scenes that show Fiennes just totally heart-broken over this and doing a great job with everything he’s given.

Rachel Weisz gained an Oscar for her role as Tessa, and I can’t really say that I’m against that. Tessa is a very care-free, peaceful, opinionated, and loving person that really just wants nothing more but the best for all of these African people with AIDS. Weisz plays this up terrifically and it’s easy to see why just somebody would fall in love with her in the first place. Her romance with Fiennes is also believable and loving, which makes it easy to believe that two opposite people would totally fall for each other. Yes people, opposites do attract. Let’s not also forget that Bill Nighy, Danny Huston, and the late and great Pete Postlethwaite are also here as well, and all do great doing what they do. Then again, that was a given.

Consensus: The Constant Gardener combines a dramatic romance story with flash-backs, politics, and social issues but works out perfectly because of the inspired direction from Fernando Meirelles and performances from its lead that make it even easier to believe in this relationship after all.

7.5/10=Rental!!

2000s, 7-7.5/10, Movies 2005, Archie Panjabi, Bernard Otieno Oduor, Bill Nighy, Blindness, City Of God, Damaris Itenyo Agweyu, Daniele Harford, Danny Huston, Fernando Meirelles, Hubert Koundé, Keith Pearson, Movie, Movie Review, Movie Reviews, Movies, Packson Ngugi, Pete Postlethwaite, Rachel Weisz, Ralph Fiennes, The Constant Gardener

Countdown to Claus: Love Actually (2003)

8 Comments Posted by Dan O. on December 8, 2011

Who loves Christmas? Almost every single British star apparently does.

I would give this huge plot synopsis but there really is so much here. Basically, everything in a nutshell, a lot of British folks fall in love with one another and Christmas starts to approach, which as everybody knows, means they all have to basically let their hearts out and tell the truth.

When I say there is a lot of stories in this flick, I mean there are a lot but I think director Richard Curtis does a fine job of handling all of these stories at once. He knows how to structure all of these stories together so well that they don’t seem too overwhelming to take in or repetitive for that sake. He doesn’t drop the ball as much as I would have expected him to but when it comes to handling dozens and dozens of love stories in just one flick that runs at 129 minutes, let’s just say that he’s no Robert Altman folk.

Where I think this flick gets messed up on is the fact there are way too many stories in this film and rather than just singling out every tiny story that it had, I’ll just tell you that there are some good bits and other bad ones. Some stories were obviously better than others, however, there were some that seemed unneeded because even though they were all comedies at heart, they also had a lot of downer dramatic elements to them as well.

There were also many moments with this film that seemed so cheesy and schmaltzy that I wanted to punch somebody in the face as soon as I heard another British bloke say, “I love you” to a chick they’ve known for only 2 days. The whole story with Liam Neeson and his step-son is really creepy and the whole fact that he’s telling his son to go and get it like a man, seemed a tad strange to me and almost like the film was trying way too hard to be cute.

The last of my problems with this flick is that it is very uneven. The abundance of stories would have been a little bit more enjoyable if they actually had some evening out with all of the stories but the problem here is that some stories go on for awhile and then you never see the other ones again, until you’ve almost forgotten about them completely. The whole Keira Knightley love-angle seemed very minor in this flick and although that one flash-card scene was cool, the film only has about 3 scenes of this little “romance” brewing up. Too many times I would wonder just where a certain story would have gone, and then when it came up I practically almost forgot about it.

Still, even though I’m ragging on this flick a whole hell of a lot, it still won me over. Despite some of schmaltzy moments there is a lot of heart-warming stuff going on here and each little story in their own right, is original and interesting. Take it for granted, there are some lame ones and others that plain and simply don’t belong because they either take up space or aren’t as interesting when it comes to having you smile when the supposed “love” is supposed to be going on. But not only are there a whole bunch of moments that had me tummy feel are warm and cuddly, there were also plenty of laughs to come along with this flick and even though they start to decrease by the end, I still felt myself happy.

The reason this film also works is because of the huge ensemble cast that Curtis has brought together. Everybody here does a great job with the ones who stand-out such as Hugh Grant as the prime minister, Colin Firth as a writer, Bill Nighy as an aging rock star, and Emma Thompson as a wife that is getting played with. Everybody here was great to watch and it was just awesome how everybody got to play around with their roles for a little bit, even if they weren’t really doing anything ground-breaking. Let’s not to forget that Andrew Lincoln of The Walking Dead is up in herrre and the always lovely Mr. Bean. People should get the notion that you should put Atkinson in every single British film. The damn guy is always funny!

Consensus: Love Actually is very uneven, and has stories that are better than others, but Richard Curtis still handles every story well here with heart-warming and comedic moments that are heightened even more by the charming cast.

7/10=Rental!!

2000s, 7-7.5/10, Movies 2003, Alan Rickman, Bill Nighy, Billy Bob Thornton, Colin Firth, Denise Richards, Elisha Cuthbert, Emma Thompson, Hugh Grant, January Jones, Keira Knightley, Laura Linney, Liam Neeson, Love Actually', Martine McCutcheon, Movie Review, Movie Reviews, Mr. Bean, Richard Curtis, Robert Altman, Rodrigo Santoro, Rowan Atkinson

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006)

8 Comments Posted by Dan O. on August 10, 2011

Oh more pirates, and so much more sweaty dudes.

Welcome back to the crazy and wild adventures of Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), young Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and headstrong beauty Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley). As Sparrow works his way out of a blood debt with the ghostly Davey Jones (Bill Nighy), he also attempts to avoid eternal damnation.

After seeing the first one, I realized how much I loved this whole trilogy so I’m going to give it all a try. Surprisingly this one holds up well to the original, which in a way seemed hard to do.

Like the first, director Gore Verbinski knows how to keep a film entertaining even if there is all this havoc going on. There’s a lot more subplots here, sword fights, pirates, and just more everything but I still had a great time through the whole film. Nothing new really happens here that really wasn’t done in the first one, but that doesn’t matter cause Verbinski knows how to make a fun blockbuster even if it is over-stuffed at points. Let’s not also forget to mention that this is so much funnier, in my opinion, than the first probably because the screen-writers wanted to make more people laugh in between all the havoc.

The main problem with this sequel, which other people had was the fact that there was almost way too much going on to the point where you really didn’t have a compelling story-line. I liked the whole Davy Jones angle but then you got Elizabeth and Will’s love, then Jack trying to find the key, then Will finding his dad, then all this havoc back in the home-land with the government, and then there’s probably so much more I’m missing. Just by me listing all those sub-plots that are within this film you can already tell that there is too much going on here but the fact of the matter is, is that I had fun even with all these stories going on at once.

As with all the Pirates films I had a great time with the cast. Johnny Depp is still amazing and his entertaining self as Captain Jack Sparrow. The whole film you see Sparrow basically being a goof throughout the whole thing and almost every time, Depp’s delivery just got me laughing and it almost seems like Depp can practically play this character in his sleep. Orlando Bloom is good as Will Turner and actually has a lot of emotional weight with his story; Keira Knightley is also OK as Elizabeth Swann; and Bill Nighy really is amazing as the evil, Davey Jones. The CGI that they used for him just looks so perfect and they honestly couldn’t have done it any better because every emotion Nighy has, shows up on Davey Jones’ face and works.

Consensus: This one may be a little too all-over-the-place for some to handle, but the action is still fun, the performances are still good, and you still will probably feel exhausted when this film is over, but in a good way.

8/10=Matinee!!

2000s, 8-8.5/10, Movies 2006, Bill Nighy, Gore Verbinski, Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Rango (2011)

23 Comments Posted by Dan O. on April 12, 2011

Either somebody was watching too many Clint Eastwood films, or took a lot of LSD.

A chameleon (Johnny Depp) that aspires to be a swashbuckling hero finds himself in a Western town plagued by bandits and is forced to literally play the role in order to protect it.

I was actually surprised to see an actual good animation film, that wasn’t by Pixar. I was also more surprised by how different than any other animated film this was.

The real reason this whole film is an awesome treat is because of writer/director Gore Verbinski who does a good job of bringing us so much entertainment to our eyes. When he shot this film, it wasn’t just voice actors in a booth, he actually had everybody up and dancing along and doing all the actions that their characters do. This is what I think adds so much more enjoyment to the film because you can tell that all these actors are having a good time, with all that fun being brought onto us watching this film.

The script for me was OK to say the least, although I did feel it was all a bit too in it’s owns ass. The reason I say that is because there’s too many times where it just seems to be a pop-culture reference, after another and it started to become annoying to the point where I just wanted this story to go on. I did find myself actually chuckling at this film, but I couldn’t help thinking that the writers of this film, felt like they were so much more wittier when they wrote it.

The animation here is so finely detailed, but not in a pretty way, because this may actually have you puke if you’re not careful. There is some gross stuff here like reptiles as well as desert critters, and we get to see every scaly, verbally crack in their skin. Some of this may just scare children, but if you want to look at some amazing visuals, this is the film to see. What I like about this film is that it uses cutting-edge technology to take us back to a kid’s story would kill off a character as well as give us nightmares, but we would still have a great time.

Johnny Depp provides the voice of Rango, and really fits him well because Rango is a very theatrical character which is perfect for Depp because it gives him the chance to really goof around, and as always he does it so well here. Isla Fisher voices Beans, and does a funny job here as our main love interest, who sort of looks like Susan Sarandon. Others in this fine voice cast include Alfred Molina, Bill Nighy, Ned Beatty, Abigail Breslin, Ray Winstone, and Harry Dean Stanton. Must I also add that there are two great cameos, from two very iconic figures but once you see them, you’ll know exactly who I’m talking about.

Consensus: The script may think it’s funnier than it actually is, but Rango features top-notch animation, with an overall fun energy that keeps almost all who watch happy, even though the little ones may not like it as much.

8/10=Matinee!!

2000s, 8-8.5/10, Movies 2011, Abigail Breslin, Alfred Molina, Bill Nighy, Gore Verbinski, Harry Dean Stanton, Isla Fisher, Johnny Depp, Ned Beatty, Rango, Ray Winstone, Susan Sarandon

Pirate Radio (2009)

3 Comments Posted by Dan O. on November 15, 2009

Suck on that, Pirates Of The Carribean!!!!!

In 1966, a group of rogue British DJs set up a radio station on a tiny boat in the North Sea to broadcast generation-defining — and banned — music to millions. The crew includes boss Quentin (Bill Nighy), the Count (Philip Seymour Hoffman), Gavin (Rhys Ifans) and Dave (Nick Frost). But eager to sink the party is persnickety Sir Alistair Dormandy (Kenneth Branagh).

Now this was released in Britain a long time ago entitled The Boat That Rocks. I know they bummed down that film from 135 minutes to now a 115 minutes, and to be truly honest I was glad to know this.

The one thing I liked first about this film going in was that it was directed by Richard Curtis, who did British classics Four Weddings and a Funeral and Love Actually both are great comedies, and this one is a nice add to his resume. He makes sure that all the strong points within this film are brought up and resolved by the end, and make sure every little person on board gets enough face-time.

The film also does have many moments that are genuinely funny, just not hilarious as I would be expecting from a grade-A crew and cast like this. Too many jokes are played out to where they are funny, and then just out of nowhere become annoying. There are also too many jokes about lesbians, since there is a lesbian on board.

Also, I feel like this film could’ve been a lot more daring and raunchier with it’s material. I don’t know if this is weird or not but I was just expecting since this is a film about rock, I would expect a lot more rock stuff to be happening, but hey that’s just me.

The film has a great ensemble cast with some of the best British and notably one of the best American acts in it’s film, but it doesn’t quite capitalize on that. The cast is funny and the chemistry is good between them, but I felt like some of the screen time could have been given to more people like Seymour Hoffman and Nighy. They didn’t quite get a huge chance to show off their comedy, and at times are rarely seen.

The soundtrack to this film is what is the best part of this film. In some cases I would say but the soundtrack forget the movie, but for this I’m saying do both. The soundtrack is electrifying and what really keeps this film entertaining. Some cool elements to this film is that many of the songs actually do fit in with the scenes that are going on, so it did create a good and powerful mood for that one scene.

Consensus: Pirate Radio may be a little uneven at points and at times disappointing, but it has some good funny moments with an exciting soundtrack which makes this film exciting throughout.

7.5/10=Rentall!!!!

2000s, 7-7.5/10, Movies 2009, Bill Nighy, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Kenneth Branagh, Love Actually', Nick Frost, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Pirate Radio, Richard Curtis, The Boat That Rocked

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