There comes a time when you have to turn-off the R. Kelly, and start talking about “feelings”. Yuck!
22-year-old Chicagoan Danny (Rob Lowe) loves the single life it hurts so much. His co-worker also happens to be his best pal (Jim Belushi); he’s good-looking; gets all sorts of ladies; likes to be the life of the party; makes a good and honest living as a grocery-food seller; and he’s practically just all by himself, but he doesn’t care too much since things seem to be going so well for him as of right now. But one day, during one of his many drunken-binges at the local-bar called “Mother’s”, Danny spots a mighty-fine looking-chick by the name of Debbie (Demi Moore) and he can’t help but fall head-over-heels for her. He gets her name, number and even a date with her, even though her bestie (Elizabeth Perkins) is more than adamant about her decision, especially with a guy like Danny. Fast-forward a couple of months later, and already, Danny and Debbie are moving in, falling in love and getting very, VERY serious. However, once you throw emotions into the mix of any relationship, not only is everything heightened, but when they end, they don’t just float-away in the air; they fall, face-down on the ground, leaving absolutely nobody alive or left-in-place during its wake.
He’s so unattractive, he makes the perfect wing-man who’d probably be happier than you at the end of his life. Yeah, whatever you do, don’t try to be like that guy.
Sounds a bit harsh, I know, but isn’t that what love’s all about? You meet someone, you start swapping fluids, you fall in love and sooner than later, things begin to go South where every bad decision you make kills you, just as much as it kills your significant-other. It sucks, it’s painful and it’s absolutely one of the most memorable experiences a human being could ever put themselves through, but, it’s something we all need to feel and experience as human beings.
However though, I don’t mean to start this review off as any other review I’ve ever done about a romantic flick, where I start getting all personal, emotional while spreading some of my hard-hurting insight of the painful game of love, because truly, this isn’t the type of movie that deserves all of that yammering. Instead, this movie deserves the type of yammering in which I wonder, just how the hell does this flick get a remake!?!? It’s not even like this one is all that good to begin with, let alone, get a re-boot, with new stars, a new angle and, from what I see, a new tone.
But, this is not a review on that movie, and instead, this is a review on this movie, the original About Last Night…, and how it just doesn’t really do much at all with its premise. Sure, the idea of two people meeting-up, going-out and eventually falling in love doesn’t exactly sound like the most inventive, creative premise to ever be drawn-out and shown to the rest of humanity, but when that type of story can be done right, it’s a pleasure for all to listen, learn and see if they can relate to these character’s in any way. If not through their first moments of falling in love, but through their moments where you sympathize with them over the harsh reality of love, and how it’s so damn killer once it seems to start going away.
That isn’t this movie, and although it definitely likes to think so, it barely even comes close. Most of that has to do with the fact that Debbie and Danny are just such poorly-written characters to begin with, that when they begin to fall for the other, we don’t really care or believe it. First of all, it all happens over the span of what seems like four or five months; the same five months that are shown to us in a montage where we get to see them frolic around parks, laugh, smile, kiss, have passionate sex in the bath-tub, eat food, smile, laugh, kiss, frolic around the streets of Chicago, walk around in the nude, and have even more passionate sex, but this time, they keep it in the bedroom. In some people’s eyes, I guess that’s what can constitute “a relationship”, let alone, “love” in and of itself, but I hardly believed these two together for a single second and found myself really trying to see if I could find any reason to care for these two at all once things started to go haywire for their sweet, little budding-romance – but I just couldn’t.
Too much of this just looks, feels and sounds so artificial, especially once we find out that Danny’s dream is to be a lifelong restaurateur, which is not only totally tacked-on by the final-act, but thrown in there to create some spice and anger between he and Debbie; as if their relationship being as bland as a piece of cardboard wasn’t enough to give them reason to fight, argue and practically hate each other as the days go by. It’s a shame to see that too, because I don’t usually try to go into romantic flicks like this, just looking to hate it and pick it apart, piece-by-piece, limb-from-limb, but barely anything was going good for me.
The only real saving-grace to be found in this movie that made it slightly better, just solely by their presences and showing up enough times to make me crack a smile or a chuckle, were Elizabeth Perkins and Jim Belushi, as the stereotypical, loner-friends who don’t care for relationships and just want to live their lives, their way, without anybody tying them down. Maybe more so of Perkins’ character, as she truly is a total bitch that, at times, can be a bit ridiculous with how upset and jealous she gets over Debbie’s newfound romance with Danny – almost to the point of where you wonder if some freaky, lesbo-secrets are going to be unearthed. Still though, as unpleasant as her character definitely is more times than she ought to be, Perkins made her the least bit sympathetic and somebody worth liking, because she seemed to always speak her mind and stick by whatever it is that she said; even if she was just being an asshole.
She’s so disapproving and right!
Jim Belushi, on the other hand, absolutely steals this movie every time he shows up, and just made me more than happy to see his lovable grin, receding hair-line and alcoholic beverage placed oh so firmly in his hand. Belushi has never really blew me away as the type of guy I’d expect to make me laugh my ass off, just by the sheer fact of him showing up and being “funny”, but with the rest of the bunch he was thrown into here, he pretty much had no choice but to make me laugh and love the hell out of him. He loves to keep the party going, talk about any “broads” he may, or may not have banged in exotic ways, and also just wants to hang-out with his good old buddy Danny, who couldn’t be less concerned with what really matters, and that’s keeping it cool with your bros.
Just another case of a whipped man. Am I right, fellas?
Speaking of this said whipped man, Rob Lowe, god bless his heart, definitely gives it his all as Danny, but nonetheless, comes up very, very short here. Laughably so, too. You can tell that Lowe’s trying to stretch himself out here as an actor and not just get by on his good looks, but when he has to be cool or charming, you wonder if he just watched Grease about ten times before filming began; and when he’s trying to emote and be all serious, it makes you wonder if he’s ever been in a relationship before, let alone in one with a chick. I know, I know, I know! Rob Lowe is definitely all fine and dandy nowadays, and sure as hell likes the ladies, but here, he’s pretty damn bad and it’s hard to watch after awhile. Even Demi Moore gets off somewhat Scott-free because he’s so lame here. Even though she’s not nearly as bad as he is, she tries a bit too hard to yell, scream, shout and cry, and seems like she just heard that her dog died, while also menstruating at the same time. I know that that’s of an image for ya, but if you can draw the picture inside your warped, twisted minds, you can probably guess just how unpleasant it is to actually be a witness of.
Consensus: Die-hard romantics may get a little something more out of About Last Night…, then say, I don’t know, your die-hard cynic, “love sucks” a-hole, but so be it! It’s not a very well-written, nor insightful movie that just gives us characters we don’t really care for to begin with, and never seem to care for, even when it seems like their own world together comes crashing down and gone forever.
4 / 10 = Crapola!!
Okay, I apologize. They bang in the bath-tub, while the shower is on. My mistake!
Photo’s Credit to: IMDB, Collider,