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Dan the Man's Movie Reviews

All my aimless thoughts, ideas, and ramblings, all packed into one site!

Tag Archives: Michael Fassbender

Trespass Against Us (2017)

So many daddy issues. Just hug it out. Or, have a beer.

Chad Cutler (Michael Fassbender) lives with his wife Kelly (Lyndsey Marshal) and kids in a trailer somewhere on a Gypsy-mountain along with fellow family-members and friends. Needless to say, the rest of society down below the hill they all live on, don’t quite like or care for them, so Chad, his wife, his kids and his father Colby (Brendan Gleeson), have all had to make ends meet for themselves and survive the only way they know how. This usually leads to a lot of crime and robbery, most of which Chad handles on his own, so that he can continue to provide for he and his family. But all of the crime, the arrests, and constant trouble from the law eventually not just take a toll on Chad, his father, and his wife, but his kids, and it’s up to Chad to figure out when enough is enough and prove to be something of an admirable father-figure for his kids. But at the same time, giving up the life of crime is a lot harder, especially when you have all sorts of responsibilities to fulfill, and a father who doesn’t approve of his one son trying to get on the straight and narrow.

Bad dad.

Trespass Against Us is an odd movie, in that it tries to jumble around a lot of ideas, tones, and plot-threads, but for some reason, never draws any of them out enough to where they’re actually interesting enough to survive on their own. Director Adam Smith seems like he’s dealing with a lot of issues about family, love, devotion, and faith, but at the end of the day, mostly just finds himself portraying a movie about dirty, smelly people, trying to remain dirty and smelly, but also be a little bit nicer. In that sense, it doesn’t quite work, because there’s just so much else going on and coming at us, that after awhile, it’s hard to really figure out just what the hell the movie is about.

If anything, it’s about how good of an actor Michael Fassbender can be, even when working with junk-material.

And unfortunately, that is the case with his role here as Chad, a put-upon father who doesn’t quite know what to do, or where to go with his life, nor how to actually grow up and start providing the smart, responsible way. But the problem with this character is that there’s so much surrounding him that doesn’t make sense – for instance, he’s old enough to break away from his controlling father, so why doesn’t he? Why is he stuck staying by him, committing crimes, and constantly hurting his family? It doesn’t make much sense and although Fassbender tries, the character just isn’t totally there for us to ever fully sympathize with him, or better yet, even care.

Still bad.

Same goes for Gleeson’s character who seems like a Jerry Jones-type, with a very thick Irish accent who, in all honesty, you can’t understand half of the time. In fact, that goes for a lot of the other characters surrounding Chad; they’re all supposed to be these dirty, scummy and idiot-like people who don’t know how to speak, or control themselves like normal, everyday citizens,. I didn’t have a problem with this aspect of them, I just had an issue that the movie didn’t do much to further develop them, or explore why they are the way they are. Often times, we’ll focus on this for about a minute or two, and then drop into another character, or another plot, and try to explore that.

After awhile, it just becomes an annoyance.

And that’s a shame, too, because Trespass Against Us had promise within its many plots, but it just never comes together in a smart way. It all feels like the movie wants to focus on the difference these Irish Gypsies face with the rest of society around them (which is probably the most interesting thread of story that the movie has to offer), but doesn’t; instead, it just discusses Chad, his family, and how he’s trying to grow up. But once again, it’s still just not developed.

Ugh.

Consensus: Despite good performances, Trespass Against Us is many different things all at once, yet, for some reason, it just never comes together in an interesting, compelling way.

4 / 10

Gee. Where have I seen this pic before?

Photos Courtesy of: Indiewire, Keeping it Real

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Assassin’s Creed (2016)

Wait, seriously? An apple?

Right after he is put to death, Cal Lynch (Michael Fassbender) all of a sudden wakes back up to Dr. Sophie Rikkin (Marion Cotillard). He is told that he is being held at a facility as a member of the Assassins, a secret society meant to fight and protect free will from the Templar Order. It’s also used as a way for Rikkin to figure out the scientific-method on how to stop violence from occurring in a person’s mind and hope to eliminate that threat altogether – her father (Jeremy Irons), meanwhile, wants to get his name in the papers and constantly goes head-to-head with Sophie on where the experiments seem to be going. But like I said, Cal is able to travel back in time to 15th-century Spain through a revolutionary technology that unlocks the genetic memories contained in his DNA, where he can kick all sorts of ass for the sole sake of finding the Apple of Eden. While time goes on, however, Cal’s memories of his earlier life begin to come back and he starts to develop certain ideas in his head about how he doesn’t want to be locked-up and forced to do all of these missions for someone else’s sake – he wants to live.

Who needs a sword when you have long, flowing locks like that to do the killing?

Who needs a sword when you have long, flowing locks like that to do the killing?

Or yeah, something like that.

Any video-game adaptation, no matter how good, or promising the material from the video-game may have been, always turns out to be pretty crummy. There’s a general idea that there has yet to be a virtually acceptable and agreed on “good” video-game movie, although there have definitely been some moderate ones that were fine as is, yet, in the world of mean-spirited and angry critics, still get mixed reviews (Prince of Persia). And yes, I’d be a fool if I didn’t say that all of the hatred and skepticism towards video-game movies doesn’t get to me – even one of my absolute favorite games of all-time, Max Payne, was made in to a pretty bad movie that I, for some reason or another, try to make a case for.

But honestly, there’s no case to be made for any video-game movie. They all kind of suck and honestly, they’re kind of pointless.

Until, well, now.

Surprisingly, there’s something about Assassin’s Creed that probably shouldn’t have worked for me, but somehow, I left it thinking about more positives, than actual negatives. Perhaps the smartest decision that went into Assassin’s Creed, the movie, was that it got a hold of director Justin Kurzel right away, because without him, or his artistic integrity, who knows what would have happened here. Just as he did with last year’s Macbeth, every shot is somehow filled with a certain beauty, yet at the same time, still getting across this idea of darkness lying underneath. In a video-game movie, it’s very easy to just play it safe and try to make everything as joyful and as pleasing as possible, but Kurzel doesn’t forget that the promising source-material he’s working with can get pretty dark and ugly.

Which is to say that there’s also a certain joy to the film, too, especially when the action gets going. For a lot of video-game movies, it seems that the general complaint is that they aren’t nearly as fun as the video-games themselves; that in and of itself is a pretty silly criticism, because well, a video-game is a video-game, and a movie is a movie. Still though, Assassin’s Creed doesn’t take much time getting right to the hectic violence and action as soon as possible, giving us the idea that we are indeed watching a movie, who’s origins also seem to come from a video-game.

Then again, the game was a hard “MA”, whereas the movie, is a bloodless and odd-looking PG-13.

Macbeth flashbacks and wow, they are not pretty.

“Michael, you can’t leave. You helped produce this.”

Does it ruin the experience? Sort of, but not a whole lot, because Kurzel does keep it moving, even when he’s focusing on a rather convoluted and heavy plot. That said, what Kurzel does well here with the story is that he focuses on it enough to make it actually seem like there’s something to fall back on and not just have there be so much damn violence and action, without any rhyme or reason; the movie even does attempt to get darker and deeper with its philosophical ideas about life, death and faith, which doesn’t work, but hey, at least the movie’s trying, right?

Maybe it’s easy to be nice to Assassin’s Creed because it’s compared to everything that has come before it, but if so, that still doesn’t get me past the fact that I enjoyed what I saw, regardless of the obvious holes to be found. It’s nearly two hours and while it could have definitely felt like every second of it, Kurzel keeps the pace going enough to where we get enough character and plot development, as scarce as they may be, as well as more than enough action. What I’m essentially trying to say is that what could have been a total and absolute slug of a film, moves at an efficient enough pace to where you don’t get caught up in all of the silliness and obvious mistakes the movie is making trying to make sense of some sort of a plot.

And of course, there’s no getting past talking about Assassin’s Creed, without discussing the on-slaught of talent here who are, unfortunately, not given a whole lot to do.

Fassbender as the iconic Cal Lynch is a bit dull, if only because the character himself seems to be so charmless, that it feels like Fassbender has to really bring himself down for this kind of role; Cotillard seems a whole lot better than the material she’s working with, but tries, and her and Fassbender have some nice chemistry; Jeremy Irons is, as usual, pretty mean and menacing; Michael K. Williams shows up as a fellow assassin who befriends Cal and is playing a more compassionate character than we’re used to seeing from him; and Brendan Gleeson and Charlotte Rampling show up for a few scenes, do what they can, collect their paychecks, and head on out. In fact, the same could be said for just about everyone else here, but hey, at least they’re here, right?

Man, I’m getting way too soft in my old age.

Consensus: Even with the holes of the plot, Assassin’s Creed does feel like a step above the usual video-game movie, with plenty of action, fun, beautiful visuals, and solid cast-members who seem like they could be doing more, but try with what they’ve got.

6.5 / 10

"Yeah, we may have overdone it with the tats."

“Yeah, we may have overdone it with the tats.”

Photos Courtesy of: Indiewire

The Light Between Oceans (2016)

Even when you think you’re alone, you never really are.

After experiencing all sorts of horrors and tragedies in WWI, Tom Sherbourne (Michael Fassbender) is looking for a little time away from the rest of the world, so that he can relax by himself and soak up what life has given him. So, he’s given the job of a lighthouse keeper which, for awhile, is a job he quite enjoys. Though he’s seemingly all by himself for some thousand miles, he doesn’t mind it and embraces it every chance he gets, regardless of what storms may come his way. But one day, while back in town for a little vacation, he meets the lovely and blissful Isabel (Alicia Vikander), who instantly wants to marry him. And yes, they do, but there’s a bit of a problem: Isabel seems incapable of giving birth. While it seems like their marriage may be in trouble, somehow, a boat carrying a man and a baby comes docking near the lighthouse. While the man is dead, the baby isn’t, and now, Tom and Isabel finally see their opportunity to have that one family that they’ve always wanted. Meanwhile, while they are with this child, the baby’s real mother (Rachel Weisz) sits at home, in heartbreak, not knowing where her child is, or if she’s even alive.

With a movie like the Light Between Oceans, you really have to be prepared for a lot. A lot of emotions, a lot of happiness, a lot of sadness, a lot of beauty, a lot of good acting, a lot of dread, and well, a lot of a lot, really. That seems to be the case for mostly all of Derek Cianfrance’s films – both Blue Valentine and the Place Beyond the Pines take place in all-too real where everyone’s sad, everything bad happens, and there’s only small bubbly moments of happiness. And then, yeah, it’s gone and everyone’s back in the dumps as if the sun never shone down on them.

So majestic and beautiful. Oh yeah and the ocean, too.

So majestic and beautiful. Oh yeah, and that ocean, too.

That said, there’s something compelling about watching this kind of sadness that makes Cianfrance’s flicks watchable, or at the very least, interesting.

In no way are they ever considered “entertaining”, or better yet, “fun”, but they’re definitely worth watching, because there’s a great deal of attention and craftsmanship that comes with his direction and his style. While Blue Valentine will probably remain his best no matter how hard he tries, Pines and this one, both seem to working in the same territory, but on different planes. Technically, they’re both epics and they’re both pretty long (despite this one probably being 20 minutes shorter than Pines), but they also approach love, destiny and happiness in a different manner; the former was much more about how family precedes everything and here, it’s about how family makes you who you are, whether it’s blood or not.

Then again, maybe it’s not. Maybe I’m totally stretching and trying my hardest to seem “deep”, but regardless, it’s worth saying that the Light Between Oceans is quite an interesting watch, where love seems to bliss and all sorts of different ways the plot can tell itself and unfold seem to pop-up, but then, it becomes to be a bit much. For one, the plot definitely unravels into some pretty dark, almost disturbing places, that only result in more and more misery for everyone involved. Which is normally fine for a short, hour-and-a-half indie, but here, we have a movie clocking in at two-hours-and-12-minutes, meaning we deal with a lot of sadness, for a really long time.

Mommy's not lookin' so great.

Mommy’s not lookin’ so normal.

Sure, we get the beautiful and lovely specimens like Alicia Vikander, Michael Fassbender, and Rachel Weisz to watch as they navigate throughout this weepy, overly dramatic material, but there comes a point where it becomes too much. Cianfrance definitely loves to live in these sad tones and moods that feel as if he’s never got around to trusting anyone in his life, let alone, the world, but it also feels like he does it just for the sake of doing it. Granted, the material he’s working with isn’t his (it’s adapted from M.L. Steadman), but it still feels like it’s tailor-made for him, if only due to the fact that it never quite brings any insight into its depression and sadness.

In a way, it’s just sort of saying that all of this heartbreak and utter remorse is inevitable.

And if that is the case, then what’s the point? With Blue Valentine, it seemed like Cianfrance was trying to depict a failing romance, less as a way of showing how the world and love works, but just how two different people work when they fall in love and experience romance together. Here, Cianfrance seems to just revel in the fact that these two lovebirds’ lives may possibly be tarnished and ruined forever, for the sole sake of keeping a story going and going.

While it may sound like I’m totally raining down on the movie’s parade, I really am not. It’s hard to look away from a movie like the Light Between Oceans, where almost every single sweeping shot of a landscape is as beautiful as the next and starts to feel like a postcard after awhile, but it’s also hard to really get invested when there’s so much doom and gloom, without any light or joy at the end of the tunnel. We get some of it with Vikander and Fassbender’s all-too-real chemistry together, but that’s about it and it’s probably not entirely the movie’s fault for them working so well together.

So what else does that leave?

Consensus: Despite its gorgeously beautiful cinematography and strong performances, the Light Between Oceans never quite connects on an emotional level and after awhile, just feels like one sad event happening, over and over again.

6.5 / 10 

Someone call Child Services already! They're clearly too happy to be a real family!

Someone call Child Services already! They’re clearly too happy to be a real family!

Photos Courtesy of: Indiewire

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

Eh. I’m fine with the apocalypse after all.

Taking place exactly ten years after the events that occurred in Days of Futures Past, the X-Men have now all found themselves enjoying some idea of lives of luxury. While they are still mutants with miraculous powers and looked at as “weirdos who can’t be trusted in a normal, civilized world”, they still get by solely through depending on one another’s good will. Professor X (James McAvoy) is still teaching classes, Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) is trying to keep the peace among the mutants and humans, Magneto (Michael Fassbender) now lives a comfortable life out in the woods of Serbia, where he has a wife, kid, and a solid job where nobody knows a single thing about him or his checkered past. So yeah, for awhile, it seems like everything’s all fine and dandy for the X-Men, until, after decades upon decades of sleeping, a powerful mutant by the name of Apocalypse (Oscar Isaac) wakes up and plans on destroying the world with some of the most ferocious and powerful mutants out there who haven’t already been taken in by Xavier. This means that a battle between two sides of good and evil is about to occur, and who chooses which side is totally up in the air.

He's still a cool hipster-kind of guy.

He’s still a cool hipster-kind of guy.

Bryan Singer clearly loves the X-Men stories and it’s one of the main reasons why he’s been able to not only keep his career alive, but even their own stories. Even when Origins came in and seemed to destroy the franchise for good, he came back to help, and give everyone their favorite mutants that nobody knew that they loved and/or missed. He not only found a way to make their plight a sad and sympathetic one, but to also make their adventures actually interesting to watch and play out, especially when they’re all putting their mutant powers to the test.

And now, with Apocalypse, his fourth X-Men movie to-date, it appears that Singer may have run out of things to actually say about all of these mutants and what makes them tick. While I don’t think it’s necessarily his fault, it’s also hard to wonder where to take this story and these characters next; sure, you can give them plenty more evil-doers to go head-to-head with, but after awhile, it can just become conventional. And also, when all of your drama is about each and everyone of these characters just sitting around and moping about how “the rest of the world doesn’t accept them”, it can get a bit tiring.

So why tell these stories anymore?

Well, obviously, it’s all for money. They still make a pretty penny at the box office and it probably won’t change any time soon, however, I can’t help but think a similar superhero movie like Civil War, where it’s clear that there’s a lot going on, with so many different people, and yet, it all comes together so damn smoothly, will make ones like these pale in comparison. After all, Singer is taking on a whole lot of different plot threads, with a whole lot of characters to deal with and develop over a near two-and-a-half-hour run-time, so it would only make sense that he take care in making sure each and everyone gets their due, right?

Surprisingly, Singer doesn’t quite do this. In a way, it appears that there’s many characters with something to do or say, that after awhile, he just cobbles them all up together, and relies solely on the talented cast’s presence to pick up the pieces whenever they can. It’s not a bad idea, especially when you have such a great cast to work with like this, but there’s also that feeling that Singer doesn’t quite know how to develop this story anymore and just seems to be going through the motions.

We get plenty of action and most of it’s good, but when there’s no heart or emotion surrounding it, does any of it matter? It’s hard to imagine an X-Men universe without some of the core characters and actors that made the original franchise so damn appealing and iconic, but unfortunately, the creative team has set it all up that way. We won’t get many more glimpses of Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellan, and even Anna Paquin – instead, we’ll just get more and more of James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Rose Byrne, Evan Peters, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Tye Sheridan, Nicholas Hoult, and Sophie Turner.

New Wave = Villains

Everyone’s favorite New Wave cover band.

Is this necessarily a bad thing? Of course not.

In fact, that cast is so good, I’m honestly surprised that I didn’t care more for these characters once it was all said and done. But that’s the issue with Apocalypse – there’s so much going on, with so many people around and about, that no one person gets enough to do or make a case for why they exist. We’ve got so many great actors here and ready to play, yet, the material’s just not there; it’s all focused on building this villain and this predictable conclusion that will lead to the goodies, facing off against him.

And as the baddie, yes, Oscar Isaac gets to have some fun. However, because he’s so covered and hidden underneath all of that make-up, it really feels like a waste of a good actor. He gets to act all sorts of evil, what with his powers and all, but really, there’s not much else to him; all he wants to do is destroy the world because, well, why not? It’s so typical and it seems like a missed-opportunity for having someone as good as Isaac in a main role. Same goes for Olivia Munn, who literally shows up for pure sex-appeal, is given nothing to do and is expected to be an interesting character for future installments to come.

There will definitely be future installments people, but know this: They have to get better.

They just have to.

Consensus: With so much going on, Apocalypse becomes a mess that Bryan Singer tries so desperately to save, but only gets by because of a good cast and solid-looking action. But in a year of already two great superhero movies, it’s going to take a lot for this franchise to make its presence felt.

6 / 10

"Hey guys! If we look close enough, we may be able to see other superhero movies coming very, very soon!"

“Hey guys! If we look close enough, we may be able to see more superhero movies coming very, very soon!”

Photos Courtesy of: Indiewire

Jonah Hex (2010)

Some gun-slingers are better left dead.

Having cheated death, gunslinger and bounty hunter Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) has come back from the dead to get revenge on those who wronged him when he was alive and well as a normal, everyday human being. Now, Jonah has certain supernatural powers and skills that allow for him to contact the dead, as well as find out where anybody is in the world. Why? Or better yet, how? Well these are questions that may never, ever get explained. However, while Jonah wants to set out on an adventure of sorts, he’s still considered a traitor by his army, and now, has to make a deal: Stop and kill Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich) from releasing these super powerful and disastrous explosives on the White House. Obviously because Turnbull killed his wife and son while he was alive, Hex has no problem with this, but he also knows that he’s going to have to get in contact with the dead an awful lot to ensure that he completes his mission, and doesn’t end up hanging out with some of those that he himself has killed.

"Malkovich?!? Malkovich?!?"

“Malkovich?!? Malkovich?!?”

There are two parts of me sitting here thinking about Jonah Hex. The one part of me wants to be a very smart, thought-provoking and serious movie critic who looks at Jonah Hex as a pile of messy, over-edited and jumbled-up drivel that the studio had absolutely no faith in, so therefore, they just dumped it out to see what could happen. That’s very obvious from the very beginning, to the fact that the movie itself is barely even 81 minutes (end credits included). Someone had the bright idea to make Jonah Hex, but the studio themselves soon regretted that decision and were left with a huge mess on their hands, so, they did what they could, given the tornado they were working with.

Then, there’s the other part of me that enjoys a good movie, even when it’s awfully bad.

And yes, Jonah Hex is that kind of movie.

I think what surprised me the most about Jonah Hex, other than how it got green-lit and was a viable enough option for some of these talented, respectable actors to actually sign up for it, was just how weird and off-putting it is, even for something that was released to over 2,000 theaters in the dead heat of the summer season. It’s not a particularly pretty movie, nor is it a very depressing one, either. There’s jokes and odd sight-gags galore, but when you really look deep and down inside of the story, you’ll realize that it’s pretty damn dirty and disgusting.

Then again, maybe it needed to be. After all, the actual stories of Jonah Hex, from the graphic novels and whatnot, aren’t particularly lovely stories of inspiration and human wisdom, either; they mostly all just feature Hex himself, going out there in the wild West, taking down some evil-doer, drinking booze, saying some witty things, contacting the dead, and that’s basically it. They’re not ground-breaking, or even life-changing stories; they’re just perfect little pieces of pleasure to sit by and read for a little bit of time.

That’s why the movie of Jonah Hex, despite it not being the greatest thing ever made, matches what the comic books actually set out to do: Give us a sense of who this character is and the world in which he exists in. And the world in which he lives in, despite also being placed in some sort of odd reality, is a pretty screwy and weird one – the likes I’ve hardly ever seen of a big-budgeted, mainstream picture, but more of a low-budget, indie Acid western.

If I had to wake up to that every morning, uh, yeah, I'd be pretty fine.

If I had to wake up to that every morning, uh, yeah, I’d be pretty fine.

But then again, yes, the movie isn’t really “good”, by any stretch of the imagination.

Director Jimmy Hayward and writers Neveldine/Taylor may have been fine choices for this material in the first place, if they were working on it separately, without the other’s influence anywhere to be found, but together, it’s an absolute cluster f**k of something I’m still trying to make sense of. Hayward is a competent enough director to where he allows for action-sequences to play out in an understandable manner, but Neveldine/Taylor can’t stop allowing themselves to take all of the havoc one step further, and Neveldine/Taylor are good at creating crazy situations and letting them all play out, but Hayward himself still wants to keep some of the material grounded in at least some sense of reality. Apart from one another, they’re probably great for this kind of material, but together, they overstep one another too much to where you wonder just whether or not these two actually did beat the heck out of one another backstage.

That said, it’s very hard to be bored from Jonah Hex, if you’re looking at it from a strictly film-goer’s point-of-view. The movie does try to take itself seriously, but then a scene later, will decided not to and try to pick up its pieces; the performances are so over-the-map to where you’ll get a brooding, almost subdued Josh Brolin, to having a wildly violent, overly insane villain like Michael Fassbender’s, who even loves the taste of his own blood; the action-sequences themselves are so wild, that it’s hard to figure out who is who, and where; and if that wasn’t odd enough, the whole movie is scored to some sort of mix metal rock opera that makes you think Led Zeppelin got together with the National Youth Orchestra.

Overall, it’s a very odd duckling of a movie, but it was hard for me not to have fun by how ridiculous it can be. It’s not good by any means, but sometimes, you have to rip-off your critic hat and just let some crazy things work their magic.

Even if they’re magic is hard-to-define.

Consensus: Jonah Hex is over-the-top, uneven, messy and just plain weird, but there’s some charm to be found in that, especially when it’s just accepting itself for what it is, which is a crazy acid western that was somehow made for a lot of money and caught big names to it. Heh. No wonder it bombed.

5 / 10

Uh oh. You've gone and done it now.

Uh oh. You’ve gone and done it now.

Photos Courtesy of: Aceshowbiz

Macbeth (2015)

Insanity, vanity, and wine, don’t always mix well.

Lady Macbeth (Marion Cotillard) and Macbeth (Michael Fassbender) are married and, at one time, were at least happy. Now, after having lost a child, they are not – but that doesn’t mean that they don’t want the same thing. Though Macbeth supports King Duncan (David Thewlis), Lady Macbeth still convinces that it is his time to take the crown and get rid of King Duncan while he still can. And get rid of King Duncan, is exactly what Macbeth does. This leads him and Lady Macbeth to become both King and Queen, where they are not only given each and everyone’s respect and adoration, but generally seen as people you should not try to double-cross. That’s why, when it becomes clear that Macbeth himself is going a bit mad and losing control of, not just his mind, but his empire, people start trying to bail and escape from Macbeth’s rule. Obviously, Macbeth is not too happy about this and decides to use his power to take matters into his own hands. Eventually, people start to get so tired and angry with Macbeth’s psychotic tendencies, that they start to get together and form something of a rebel alliance – one that will ultimately prove to be Macbeth’s undoing.

aaa

Not Game of Thrones with Fassbender, but wow. How amazing?

Among many other things, of course.

So yeah, it’s very hard to make a Shakespeare adaptation nowadays without making it seem like you’re just taking up your time to make a movie and because, well, you could. In a way, everything’s been done by now and unless you have a truly unique, interesting way of telling the story, your adaptation won’t do much except just make people actually want to go back and read the original-text. Because as everybody knows, people love Shakespeare, and if there’s something they love more, it’s a good Shakespeare adaptation.

Something that Macbeth sort of is and sort of isn’t, but that’s sort of the point.

What director Justin Kurzel seems to be doing here is give everyone that kind of Macbeth adaptation they expected to see, yet, at the same time, still find ways to make it even more bleak and unrelenting than ever before. Clearly, for anyone who has ever read the original story or seen other adaptations, it’s clear that this is a pretty hard task, but it’s one that Kurzel seems perfectly equipped with handling. Kurzel’s last film, the Snowtown Murders, was basically an adaptation of Macbeth, but not really; while it was clearly based on a true story that’s as grim as anything in here, it’s also, at the same time, a tale about how evil can take over one man to make him do terribly inhumane things that no sane man in his right man would ever think of committing.

And with the story of Macbeth, that’s exactly what Shakespeare is trying to say. While he was obviously a bit more subtle with it than I may be making it out to be, that idea of one man losing all control of his mind, while still clearly in power over a large group of people, is still here and obvious in every shot, frame and scene. While it may get a tad repetitive with Fassbender just constantly acting out like a nut case and just making everyone around him feel genuinely terrified and scared for their lives, Fassbender’s still good enough that it’s easy to get past. Though this isn’t his best work we’ve seen him do this year, it’s still hard to take your eyes off of him whenever he’s on the screen as he commands just about every scene.

aaaa

That look, those eyes, so French.

Marion Cotillard does the same, however, her role is a whole heck of a lot more subtle than Fassbender’s.

For one, everything she’s thinking or feeling, at any given moment, is displayed on those huge, bright eyes of her. Cotillard is known for giving these kinds of small, subtle performances where you have an inkling of how she’s feeling just by looking at her beautiful face, but here, it especially works because you know that, deep down inside, she’s the heart and soul of this story. It’s a pretty dark heart and soul, but a heart and soul nonetheless, which is why it’s great to get the scenes with her when it’s just her trying to calm her hubby down, or at least try and make sense of his madness.

As for the rest of Macbeth, it’s, as expected, some very gut-wrenching and disturbing stuff, most of which, is actually beautiful to watch. Kurzel layers his film with a certain code of orange that’s not just interesting, but occasionally, distracting; there’s so many shots here of beauty that, really, it seems like overkill and almost as if the ones behind this movie knew exactly that they were making something beautiful and had to tell the whole world about it. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t dislike the film for trying to look good, but there was a small feeling that, almost every time some pretty shot was seen on the screen, that those behind the camera were just absolutely pleased with themselves.

Nothing wrong with liking what you’ve done, but you know, relax a little bit.

Instead, what Kurzel does is just tell the story, as it was, in some ways, originally presented. While there’s certain lines and/or scenes that are missing, the general idea is that Kurzel’s going to keep the native tongue and try his hardest to make us roll along with it. Because of this, the movie can sometimes be a bit difficult to read into or understand, but because the performances are so good from just about everyone, they help spell certain things out. And then, after awhile, it’s easy to just remember that, eventually, every scene is going to lead into someone or something getting stabbed, slice, or killed in a disgusting, disheartening way.

Just how Shakespeare liked it, clearly.

Consensus: The performances from Fassbender and Cotillard are so good in Macbeth, that they make it easy to get through some of the more confusing parts of it, as well as see more than just a bunch of blood, gore and violence, which ultimately, this story can just be all about.

6.5 / 10

aaaa

Hail to the king, baby.

Photo’s Credit to: IMDB, AceShowbiz

Slow West (2015)

Slow and steady doesn’t always win ya races, people.

16-year-old Jay (Kodi Smit-McPhee) is currently stranded 19th Century frontier America. For some odd, inexplicable reasons, the woman that he grew up to know, learn from, and love (Caren Pistorius), has vanished. Because of this heartbreak, Silas figures that the only way to fix it all would to actually set out on a journey to find her, once and for all. Little does Jay know, the West can be a pretty rough and ragged place to travel through, and if you’re not careful, you could find yourself in some very tense, life-or-death situations. That’s why when Jay runs into the company of Silas (Michael Fassbender), a charming and smart outlaw that seems to collect bounties anywhere he goes, he wants to stick with him in hopes that his life will be protected. The only problem know is that Jay eventually finds out that his old love is know wanted dead or alive for a murder she may not have even committed in the first place, and now, nearly every dirty, mean cowboy in the West is gunning after her. It’s up to Jay to make sure that he finds her before it’s too late, whereas it’s up to Silas to make sure that the boy does, but that he also gets his money, as well.

Slow is exactly right. With a movie like Slow West, it’s hard to be mad at it for what it is: A slow, melancholic Western that doesn’t over-stay its welcome too long, nor does it ever really seem to find its own footing. With first-time writer and director John M. Maclean, it’s clear that there’s a certain look and feel to this film that’s supposed to matter to the story, to these characters, and especially to our own general feeling to the film as a whole. While it’s easy for me to say that Maclean clearly has an eye for visuals, it doesn’t translate as well to the rest of the flick.

Even if he hasn't taken a shower for what seems like a couple of weeks, M-Fass still rules the land.

Even if he hasn’t taken a shower for what seems like a couple of weeks, M-Fass still charms socks off.

But, then again, it’s hard to get on a movie that features not only Michael Fassbender, but Ben Mendelsohn as well.

Two for the price of one, people!

With Fassbender’s Silas character, we get the sort of soft-spoken, but charming-as-all-hell outlaw character that we so often see in these kinds of Westerns, however, they mostly feel like parodies of themselves. While they’re supposed to be taken seriously, these kinds of characters have been practically done to death by now, that no matter how cool, calm and collected you are, the character you’re playing may still come off as corny. However, this is not a problem that gets in the way of Fassbender, one of today’s most talented actors.

As Silas, Fassbender proves that it’s sometimes best to say two words, rather than to say 15 or so, and yet, still get your point across. Sure, it’s safe to say that this Silas character seems like he knows it all, been there, done that, and has seen whatever the world threw in front of his eyes, but Fassbender plays it in such a manner, that it almost didn’t matter to making this character work; Fassbender just finds his own ways in doing so. He could either be shooting people, calming gunslingers down, or smokin’ a stogie in the middle of a gun-battle and no matter what, Silas would still be cool, without ever seeming like he’s trying too hard.

And of course, having Ben Mendelsohn just show up and do his thing is great, and that’s how he is here. Not much different from before, except to say that there’s still an unsettling feel surrounding him where you don’t know whether or not he’s actually a cold-hearted killer, or just a guy looking for a quick money-grab. Either way, there’s something interesting to his menace, and that never seemed to go away here for him.

Problem is, Maclean doesn’t really find a way to make sure that the plot services both of these guys’ talents, as well as Smit-McPhee’s.

The fur just adds more creepiness, surprisingly.

The fur just adds more creepiness, surprisingly.

For one, the plot is simple at best, meandering at its worst. Whereas some will be pleased to see that Maclean sort of just lets his movie move along at its own pace, find its own direction, and even figure out what story it wants to work with, to me, it didn’t quite gel well. Constantly, it felt like Maclean didn’t know where he wanted to go with this story and didn’t have much of anything mapped-out to work with. So, instead of writing something down in concrete, he just let the movie go on and on, without much of a rhyme, reason, or direction.

Sometimes, this works if the movie itself seems to be a fun piece of random, but Slow West isn’t that kind of movie. Sure, it has some moments that are tense, including a gun-packed finale that’s surely the highlight of the whole movie, but overall, it’d be hard to make sense of just what’s going on and why. I’ve seen some people refer to this movie as “a dream”, and while I agree with some of those statements, I still don’t think it works in the movie’s favor; it never seemed like it deserved to be seen as a dream, no matter how many random characters popped in and out.

Then again, it all comes back to the fact that this is a Western that ends on a high note, with guns a blazin’, bullets a flyin’, and people a droppin’. To me, that’s always a fine time to watch, whether it’s a Western, a regular, old action movie, or a family drama. And if that shows anything, it’s that Maclean, while not fully ready for more and more pictures, definitely has a future in just filming action sequences, no matter where they’re taking place.

Because lord knows I’ll watch them. With or without a lame story.

Consensus: Slow West takes its good old time to get where it needs to get going, and because of that, feels meandering and random, but still doesn’t take away from solid performances and bits of action.

7 / 10

 

Trust the barber, kid. For your own sake.

Trust the barber, kid. You’ll never regret it.

Photo’s Credit to: IMDB, AceShowbiz

Frank (2014)

Indie musicians have it worse.

Wannabe musician and overall simpleton, Jon (Domhnall Gleeson) stumbles upon the opportunity of a lifetime: Fill in as a keyboardist for a band that’s coming to town. Seems simple enough and will definitely allow Jon to show others his love and passion for music, but he soon finds out that this isn’t necessarily the band to show that off with. First of all, nobody in the band really cares for him. The manager (Scoot McNairy) is constantly on the verge of losing his total mind and doesn’t really know what to do with this band. And to make matters worse, the lead singer is a guy by the name of Frank (Michael Fassbender), who wears a paper-mache head. Is it to hide who he really is? Is it some form of artistic expression? Or, is it just a gimmick that the band rolls with in order to gain any sort of publicity? Nobody really knows, but Jon’s willing to find that all out when he joins the band in the woods where they’ll stay at a cabin and record what’s supposed to be their next album. However, the process is a lot harder than he, or anybody else involved with the band had originally imagined.

So yeah, basically, this is just Almost Famous, but with a smaller-budget and an odd gimmick. Which isn’t to say that’s such a bad thing to begin with, but it turns out that the gimmick after all is really just that this dude wears a paper-mache head practically the whole entire time this film is on for. And to make the gimmick even more unique, well, we have none other than Michael Fassbender himself underneath that head.

Didn't feel like shaving your face in a normal way, now did ya?

Didn’t feel like shaving your face in a normal way, now did ya?

Which is, yes, a total shame for any ladies/men out there who wanted to get their fine helping of some M-Fass, only to come in and realize that you just hear him use this really poor American-accent. And hey, if that’s how you like your M-Fass movies, then this will definitely be a treat for you. However, if you’re at all like me and actually like to see M-Fass put his talents to good use by using that demanding face of his, or just his overall, physical-prowess that seems to command any movie he’s apart of, then you’ll probably want to steer clear of this and watch something like Shame or Hunger.

Because you’ll most likely get more than a small helping of M-Fass watching those two.

Anywho, I guess what I’m trying to say is that while it’s definitely interesting to see someone as notable and as talented as Michael Fassbender to hide his face from us and act in a movie where we hardly see him at all, it doesn’t quite work. Which isn’t to say that he’s bad, it’s just that the rest of the film surrounding him doesn’t really know what to do, or where to go with his character, or even the plot as a whole.F

For instance, the aspect of this movie where it could have really excelled was in the recording-process and how these band-members all came together to create something wonderfully unique. That would have been neat to see, but as time goes on, it becomes quite clear that director Lenny Abrahamson isn’t at all interested in doing something like that; instead, he focuses most of his attention on these characters, their quirky “isms”, and how all of them are incapable of just being normal for a single second. They all seem likes satirical jokes of the kind of hipster, lo-fi indie band you’d see from music festivals like Firefly, or Lollapalooza, or Coachella, but instead, they’re here and rather than humanizing them or making them anything more than just a butt of their own jokes, Abrahamson just explores their quirky-personalities even more.

Which would have been fine in the first place, had any of these personalities been funny in the slightest bit, but they’re not. They’re just strange people, acting strange and doing strange things, without much rhyme or reason. People out there who enjoy smoking weed or can at least identify slightly with these struggling, rather pretentious musicians, will probably find a whole to laugh and love about these characters and how they are, but for anybody wanting a reason for their actions or what it is exactly that they can bring to the table in terms of plot/character-development, then they’ll be utterly disappointed.

And if I had to label this whole movie down to one word, it would probably be just that: Disappointed. I myself am a musician and enjoy watching how certain music is made or comes to fruition in the first place, regardless of if it’s in a documentary or a scripted-piece. Either way, I just like to see how music is made and how people can put their minds to the test when it comes to creating something. Here though, I didn’t get that; instead, I just saw a bunch of wacky characters, be just that. Problem was, I didn’t really care for them, the music the ended up creating (if they ever even got to in the first place), and really, there ended up being nothing interesting said here at all.

Add in some drum-loops and you've got yourself a catchy single.

Add in some drum-loops and you’ve got yourself a catchy single.

Abrahamson seems like he sort of gets to doing that with the character of Frank himself, but it never really pans out to much other than just, “this guy’s a bit cooky, but he’s somehow a musical genius”. Firstly, we never see him actually being a musical genius; he just says and does weird things, and when he doesn’t have the right inspiration for whatever piece he wants to create, he loses his mind and runs around like a crazed-lune. The movie is clearly in love with this character, but it spends so much time just focusing on his odd personality, it hardly leaves us any room to make up our own minds on him. We’re just supposed to love him too, but the “why” is never made clear enough.

Same goes for our main protagonist, Jon. While Domhnall Gleeson is perfectly cast in, yet again, another “normal guy” role, his character’s just boring. Maybe that’s the point, to show the differences he has with the rest of the members in the band, but it doesn’t do anything to help him, or even this movie considering he’s the only character we could connect with amongst all of the hustle and bustle. But that’s not what happens. So instead, we’re supposed to wait around for this band to eventually come together, create some sort of wonderful music, and see if they can all survive as one. But like with music as a whole, everybody likes something different.

Consensus: By appearing so helplessly in love with its title-character, Frank turns out to be nothing more than a fluff-piece for somebody who doesn’t really deserve one, nor any of the other characters either.

4 / 10 = Crapola!!

Sort of like how my band's shows look like. But with ACTUAL PEOPLE THERE.

Sort of like how my band’s shows look like. But with ACTUAL PEOPLE THERE. Yeah! Take that, hipsters!

Photo’s Credit to: IMDB, AceShowbiz

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

So many freaks, it felt like being in Saturday detention once again.

In the post-apocalyptic future, mutants across the globe are hunted down and killed by giant robotic Sentinels, who are able to modify their powers depending on what mutant it is they are fighting. This makes the idea of mutants’ extinction almost a reality, forcing Professor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) to come up with a master plan: Send Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) back in time to 1973 to find the young version of himself (James McAvoy) and Magneto (Michael Fassbender), and convince them to stop Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) from killing the creator of these deadly Sentinels (Peter Dinklage). That’s a lot easier said then done, considering the last time Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr saw one another, they almost killed each other, leaving the former unable to walk. But, with Wolverine thrown into the mix, they hope that they can smooth some things together and finish their master-plan, all in time before the Sentinels come around in the present day, and kill all that’s left of the X-Men. And to make matters worse, retro-era Magneto is predictably giving everybody a bit of a hard time when his ideals don’t mesh so well with the rest of the group’s. Oh, these Mutants, when will they ever learn to get along.

So, in other words, what this movie is trying to do is allow Bryan Singer to come back to the franchise that was basically consider “his”, and go back in time to where he could not only make us forget about the stink of the third and Origins, but also, show that this franchise can go on, even without him or many others attached to it. And, for the most part, it’s a noble effort on Singer’s part because you can tell that he honestly does “get” these characters, their plight, as well as their stories. Singer, all of his modern-day controversies aside, knows what it’s like to be looked at in a weird way, to be a social outcast, and what it means to be pushed away from the rest of society, which is not only why these characters still work for us, but also why the movie moves as well as it does.

"Yeah. I did that. Get at me."

“Yeah. I did that. Get at me.”

Because see, what Singer does so amazingly well here is that he gives us all of the characters we’re supposed to care about and allows them to have their smallish scenes of character-development. They’re nothing gigantic to where this becomes something of a character-driven piece; a little sign of compassion, anger, rage, depression definitely helps this go a long way. However, it’s enough to where there’s some sort of emotion backing all of the wild and insane action that happens throughout the most part of this movie. Which definitely makes this movie all the more satisfying and fun to watch – exactly how a superhero summer blockbuster should be.

Sure, I may have liked the Amazing Spider-Man 2 more than some, but there’s a reason for that: Not only did the movie keep me excited, but it seemed like it genuinely knew what kind of movie it was being. Nothing more, nothing less – a quintessential, 90’s superhero movie that just so happens to be made for Generation Y. It worked for me, but it didn’t work for others. So hey, whatever. Anyway, what I’m trying to get across is that while that movie knew it was a shallow piece of entertainment and didn’t try to go anywhere it wasn’t supposed to, Days of Future Past knows that it’s more than just a piece of carefree, sugar-explosion entertainment that one pays nearly-$20 to see at the end of a shitty day to make themselves feel better.

There’s real, actual heart and emotion to this piece, that not only has us reeling for the characters whenever their lives are at danger, but makes the stakes feel all the more higher.

Jeez, who woulda thunk it, right? Having a blockbuster in which we were given characters we genuinely sympathized with and for? Naw, get outta here!

But that’s what’s so wild about this superhero movie: It not only kicks, moves, and runs around like an action movie, but it also breathes like a superhero movie, in which we get to understand and see our “heroes” for all that they are worth, regardless of if we like them or not. Don’t get me wrong though, this isn’t a total drag-fest in which Singer continuously hits us over-the-head with sadness and darkness, like in the vein of Christopher Nolan, because there a few ounces of light, fun, and frothy comedy to keep our spirits up and afloat; but there’s also plenty of drama to make us feel like the ride is plenty worth while.

And the ride is exactly what matters here, especially in the eyes of someone like Singer, who feels like he’s gotten the whole band back together. Which is not only great for him and those struggling-actors who need a bit more extra cash thrown into their bank-account, but it’s also great for us. Personally, I remember growing up on the first two X-Men movies and fondly remember seeing each and every character introduced to me. Granted, I was young and didn’t know much better, but when I did decide to re-visit both of those movies, I found myself rarely at all disappointed. Some tonal issues here and there messed me up, but that was just the older, more-advanced movie-viewer inside of me speaking; the young, ten-year-old kid, however, was going nuts and in total joy of what he was seeing.

That’s why when certain faces show up in this movie like Halle Berry as Storm, or even Shawn Ashmore as Iceman, I genuinely felt happy; not because people are still actually hiring Halle Berry and Shawn Ashmore, but because I was finally seeing the mutants I used to watch as a kid, back on the big screen, in all of their wildest form. It made me feel like a kid again which, as we all know, usually comes with its huge dosages of nostalgia and late nights of sobbing into my pillow. So yeah, it’s great to have the band all back together again, but what’s even better is that they’re all in the hands of someone who knows what to do with them.

Not some freakin’, low-rent, spoiled-brat chump who I will leave unmentioned. But you know who it is I’m talking about.

Like I was saying though, yeah, this movie. What works so well about not only seeing the cast back on the screen, altogether once again, is that they definitely work wonders with delivering some corny dialogue. Maybe less so for Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, who really does deliver some of the movie’s best and funniest lines when it’s just him having to get used to the 70’s and all; but definitely moreso for class-acts like Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen who have always made their long-winding speeches of unity, acceptance, and banding together actually seem honest and interesting. There’s no difference here, it’s just that they aren’t on the screen so much, considering that most of this movie takes place in the 70’s.

She must be feeling blue...

She must be feeling blue…

This is where we get to see the younger-versions of Magneto and Xavier who are, once again, played wonderfully by both Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy, respectively. Fassbender feels like he’s constantly on the verge of dropping his good-guy persona and straight-up turning evil on everyone’s asses, while McAvoy gets to play Xavier as a bit of a drugged-out bum that needs some sort of inspiration to keep him going. It’s nice that First Class was able to get these two in the first place, because they work pretty damn well here in this movie, even if some of their dialogue is rather clunky. Just a bit though. Nothing too much.

And yes, before I go on too much, I will say one thing, and that’s everybody’s favorite figure in the media, Jennifer Lawrence, is fine as Mystique, however, I feel like she’s given a role that’s rather one-note. The whole aspect surrounding Mystique’s character in this movie is that she’s constantly angry about something, and while we know what that something is about, it doesn’t give us much reason to like her character or even see J-Law doing much for that character. There are certain shadings to her anger, but nothing to the point of where I felt like this was the Oscar-winner coming out of her performance and making this something more; just pretty standard stuff that could have gone a much longer way.

Hell, while I’m at it, I could even say the same thing about the movie. See, what got me so wrapped up in its emotion was the characters and the fact that I was seeing all of my old, favorite mutants, back on the screen, together, once again. That made me happy and a bit emotional, but for the story itself, there wasn’t that push I really wanted. It never really seems to be about much, except for just being about maintaining one’s extinction? I mean, I guess? I don’t know, let’s work with that, shall we?

Anywho, I know it’s a dumb nit-pick and all but it’s what kept me away from loving the hell out of this thing. But it’s definitely the superhero blockbuster you should see this summer. Although, probably, the Amazing Spider-Man 2 is only a couple of steps away.

No takers? Okay, cool. I’ll shut up about that now.

Consensus: With an utter sense of glee and joy with Bryan Singer at the helm, X-Men: Days of Future Past is not only a fun and exciting summer blockbuster, but is also a somewhat heartfelt, emotional ride that brings back all of the characters we once loved and adored, for another installment. Whether or not it’ll be the last, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that everybody’s back and the smiles it brings to the fanboys’ faces.

8.5 / 10 = Matinee!!

"Back the office, once again. Shit."

“Back the office, once again. Shit.”

Photo’s Credit to: IMDBColliderJobloComingSoon.net

Jane Eyre (2011)

Relationships were so much simpler when people weren’t just boning each other all of the time.

Jane Eyre (Mia Wasikowska) is an orphan growing up in 19th Century England who doesn’t always get along with everybody around here. That’s why, one day, her evil auntie (Sally Hawkins) sends her to a tough-as-nails boarding-school, where she is taught how to act around people, be lady-like and just not bust people’s balls, like Jane is most known of doing. Once Jane gets out of this boarding-school and finds herself starting her adult, professional life, she’s assigned as governess for a young French girl at a nearby estate. The girl’s father, Edward Rochester (Michael Fassbender), is also the master that employs Jane and is a bit of a troubled-fellow. He’s got a bit of an anger-issue, has some deep, dark secrets and definitely doesn’t seem like he’s capable of handling himself in public situations, and yet, he is somehow able to connect with Jane. Together, they talk, walk through beautiful landscapes and, slowly but surely, begin to fall in love. However, things get a bit more complicated once Jane finds out something about Edward’s rocky-past, as well as her own.

I don’t feel like I’m alone when I say that I automatically cringe hearing about a new period piece. No offense to anybody who likes those sorts of things, but they just aren’t totally for me, unless they are done in some sort of fast-paced, interesting and fun way. That almost never, ever happens, but I hold-out hope that I do get one of them, one of these days.

My apartment complex is bigger. Just sayin'....

My apartment complex is bigger. Just sayin’….

Anyway, that’s the exact reason why I wasn’t looking too forward to watching Jane Eyre, a story that it seems like everybody else on the face of this planet knows, except for, you guessed it, yours truly. Then again, I’m a movie-junkie and I have to give any movie a chance, which is what I’m really thankful for here.

See, something strange happened here with me and this movie: Not only was I interested in this story right from the beginning, but I found myself oddly surprised as well. Most of the opinions people have about 19th-century period-pieces is that they are sometimes so royal, so stuck-up and so damn boring, that they can’t help but be slow and let us know that this is how the times were back in those days. However, it seemed like director Cary Fukanaga knew that he wanted to tell us this story, but not harp on the minuscule, meaningless details.

Right from the start, as soon as we find out that Jane has had a pretty shitty childhood, things pick up and automatically, we are thrown into this place in time that not only feels real, but still relevant in our day and age. Sure, the themes of love, acceptance and feminism are everlasting and will more than likely stand the test of time, but what Fukanaga does here so well is that he shows us that not all period-pieces have to be time-consuming, regardless of if they are moving at a snail-like speed. He gives us a story, he gives us a setting, he gives us characters, and he even throws in a bit of a mystery, that somehow goes along perfectly with the real dilemma on our hands here: The love-dynamic between Jane Eyre and Edward Rochester.

Considering that I haven’t read the novel, like the lazy, Y-Generation-er that I am, I don’t know if this dynamic was as strong, or as tension-filled in the book, as it is here, but Fukanaga really nailed that aspect down perfectly. We get the idea that these two people are perfect for one another and, had they been alive today in the present-day, would be together today, walking hand-in-hand, frolicking through the streets. But, seeing as this is the older days when class and wealth was more meaningful than actually having a life, it makes sense why they find it hard to be together, or accept the notion that they should be together. Any other movie would have this whole idea be stretched-out into a two-hour cock-tease, but here, Fukanaga continues to add on emotion, after emotion and give us the impression that they might just get together, despite what others would whisper about them.

They’re not necessarily star-crossed lovers that nobody wants to be together, it’s just more of the fact that they don’t know if they should, or should not be, and it takes us for a ride. Also, a lot of that has to do with the fact that both of these characters were well-cast with Mia Wasikowska and Michael Fassbender. Everybody knows, and loves the hell out of Michael Fassbender by now, so it’s honestly no surprise that I say he does a great job Edward Rochester – a guy we never know if we can fully trust, but like enough to feel like he should be with Jane at the end of all this.

"It's okay. We called PECO and they said it'd be back on in a couple of hours."

“It’s cool. We called PECO and they said it’d be back on in a couple of hours.”

However, who I am really going to focus my attention on here is Mia Wasikowska, who I’ve never been too impressed with in the past, but I will say one thing: She chooses some great material to work with and continues to really stretch herself. Here, as Jane Eyre, she gets the chance to sink her teeth into a woman that doesn’t just stand-up for herself every step of the way, but also makes sure that no man, woman, or child gets in her way of acceptance. What’s so rad about the character of Jane Eyre is that she gains respect and gratitude from those around here, not just by pretending to be as tough, or as cool as a man, but by using her smarts to out-do those around her. Because of this, we’re able to see that all of these others around here are either dumb, over-the-top or are so relaxed in their monotonous, peaceful lives, that they have no clue what to do when somebody comes around and shakes things up by shedding a little lip here and there.

So, to sum it up: Jane Eyre is a pretty awesome female character that I feel like any and all gals should definitely look up to and go by, regardless of whether it’s from the book or the numerous film-adaptations of it.

But like I was saying before, Mia Wasikowska does a phenomenal job as Jane Eyre, giving us a pretty kick-ass female character that doesn’t need to actually participate in the act of kicking ass to prove that she’s a toughie; she just acts like she always has and never lets anybody walk over her. Great job on Wasikowska’s part, but also Fukanaga’s for at least giving us a reason to love her presence, not just solely by her gorgeous/mysterious look. There’s actually development to her and for that, we appreciate her being around. As for everything else that Fukanaga does in this movie, it’s all fine. By the end though, it does get a bit twisty and turny, almost to the point of where it all feels over-stuffed, but overall, the guy keeps his head clear enough that we’re able to see why this story deserved to be brought-to-screen once again, with these talented-people and all.

Consensus: For those who shutter at the idea of Jane Eyre being adapted again, fear not, because what we have here is a well-acted, emotional and rather suspenseful-tale of forbidden love, class-conflicts and a hard-ass female character that mouths off to almost anybody, and everyone around her. But in a dignified, 19th Century, period piece kind of way.

8 / 10 = Matinee!!

Don't do it, honey! He just wants your mo-, erhm, never mind. Marry Mr. Money Bags already!

Don’t do it, honey! He just wants your mo-, erhm, never mind. Marry Mr. Money Bags already!

Photo’s Credit to: IMDBColliderJobloComingSoon.net

12 Years a Slave (2013)

I thought all slaves walk around to the sounds of James Brown and Rick Ross.

This the true story of one Solomon Northup (Chiwetel Ejiofor), a free black man who, in 1853, was expecting to be in business with two circus men (Taran Killam and Scoot McNairy) looking to make a quick buck with the very talented violinist, but instead, found himself to be drugged, kidnapped and sold into slavery, all within a 24-hour time-frame. As soon as he’s shipped off to the South, he meets and interacts with fellow other slaves, as well as other slave owners that range from sympathetic (Benedict Cumberthatch), to downright despicable (Michael Fassbender). But through this all, Solomon realizes that he can’t continue to plead that he’s a free man who can read, write and work as well as any other white folk can, and just has to accept the reality that this is his life from now on and he must face it head-on. A sad reality, but a reality for many African-Americans (and whites as well) out in the South during this time.

Hard to believe that even after all of these years of coming very close to hitting the nail on the head of the slice of history that was slavery, it took a Brit director in the form of Steve McQueen to give us the most definitive, honest, painful and realistic look at it, and then some. We all know that there’s been some hype and some buzz surrounding this movie for quite some time, and while it may have taken me longer than expected to actually get out there to my local indie theater and give it a go, I’m glad I did because this is one of those flicks that many people will be paying attention to for awhile. Not just at the end of this year when Oscar talk is running rampant, but for many, many years to come, as it presents us with a view of slavery that has never been as grueling or as painful as this is.

"You're pretty much my best buddy. Just don't tell anyone. EVER!!"

“You’re pretty much my best buddy. Just don’t tell anyone. EVER!!”

And yet, all of that importance still doesn’t make it the best movie of the year, heck, maybe not even Top 10.

I know, I know, I know. The pitchforks are already seized and the torches have been lit, but please, I urge you to bear with me and see if we can maybe come to an understanding. And if not, I don’t care. I’m a movie critic, dammit! I got opinions, regardless of popular-belief!

The aspect in which I must give this movie credit for, is mainly in the way that it does not back-down a bit from what it wants to show us. Most of that credit does deserve to go to McQueen, as he has proved that, time and time again, he is one of the masters at giving us a downright nasty piece of subject-matter, throwing it out there on screen and allowing us to just watch as it all plays out in front of our eyes, while also having us come to our own conclusions about what he’s showing as well. I respect this decision, not just here, but with his other two flicks (Hunger and Shame) as it shown him as the type of director we all have to look out for as he might be changing the ways movies are made and looked at in today’s world. I know that’s one huge leap I’m taking, but it’s one that I feel confident supporting as the guy really seems like he hit his stride here. And then some…

See, the real reason why this movie works as well as it does is because it gives us the story of slavery that we all think we know by heart by now, and yet, shows us that we still don’t know all that much about it, nor do we actually even realize the REAL harshness behind it. We see Solomon go through all sorts of travesties in his time as a slave: People suddenly get killed, raped, sold, left-for-dead, or are simply never heard from again. But the saddest reality of all that this movie brings up more than a few times is the fact that, for these slaves, it didn’t matter if they lived, died, or how many times they were constantly being sold-off and moved around; because nobody knew about them, nor even cared. Most of these people were already born into slavery as it was, so they already knew that they had no lives outside of picking cotton to live, but even for the ones who were free and then eventually sold into slavery, they still had no certain level of existence in their loved ones’ minds.

These types of slaves couldn’t write to their loved ones, let them know where they were and how they could free them, because usually, it was too much of a risk to take in the first place. Not just by being caught actually trying to transport a letter from Point-A-to-Point-B, but letting your owner know that you are in fact a free man or women,who can read, write and do all sorts of other things that a typical slave doesn’t have the ability to do. That realization could have you either killed, sheltered away from the rest of the public till the end of your days, or threatened to keep your mouth shut and realize that it doesn’t matter what you can or cannot do; you are a slave, and you must work, work, work, and work. And when you can’t work no more, you’re dead.

End. Of. Story.

But see, that’s the strangest idea about this movie, as well as our society itself: We already know this harsh reality, and yet, we still can’t seem to get our heads around the fact that this was America at one point in time. All of these brutal feelings, thoughts, ideas and standards we set for the rest of our society were felt during that time-period, but are still ever so present in today’s day and age, that a movie like this must be seen to inform others about what happened back in those days, and how we’re still getting over it all. Because honestly, let’s face it, nobody will ever be able to live slavery down: Whites, blacks, Jews, Chinese, etc. None of them will be able to live it down, and that’s a mind-set that will probably be forever tattooed in our minds. The fact that slavery, although being abolished for more than 140 years now, will still never, ever go away. Will we ever move on as a society, or we will just continue to remind ourselves of what our nation used to be like?

Questions, questions, questions.

As you can tell, this movie definitely gave me plenty to think about, mainly important stuff, but while all of those ideas ran around in my mind, I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that despite it being an unflinching, powerful and important look at slavery, there was something holding me back from thinking it was the end-all, be-all masterpiece of the year. While the true story of Solomon Northup is one that should never go unnoticed, the framing of the story itself just felt too normal to me, as if everything we were seeing, all happened in a sequence, without much rhythm or rhyme. I get that this is most likely how Northup experienced most of these events, but for a movie, it just makes it seem less like a story being told to us, and more like a series of things that are happening. For instance, we get to see Solomon get sold-off to a couple slavers throughout his life-span which, rather than making you feel awfully terrible about the type of predicament he’s in, comes off more episodic, as if it’s a new chapter in the life of Solomon Northup, or how it probably read on paper.

He's also a producer on this. Wonder if he's got a big, rather important role?

He’s also a producer on this. Wonder if he’s got a big, rather important role?

The problem I had with this movie wasn’t that it was told to me in a way that easily understandable and comprehensive so that I understood all that McQueen was doing, at any given moment, it was just that there never really felt like much of an emotional-connection here that would have had me running along with Solomon and everybody else around him for as long as they wanted me to. Granted, I did tear-up a couple of times to the point of where I needed a clean wipe-down, but that was mainly because I was reaching for something to cry about. The movie that McQueen was giving me, wasn’t the nearest thing to “sentimental”, and while I give him credit for not soaping this story up to where it could have been laughable, a hint, or hell, even a smudge of sappiness would have really put me over the edge to where I felt like this movie was the emotional-experience of a lifetime. Instead, I just felt like it was a series of bad things, happening to good people, from bad people, and that was about it.

Oh, and slavery was bad, too. Mustn’t forget about that fact.

That’s why, even though many will disagree with me, this flick feels like it delivers on what it sets out to do, and yet, could have gone deeper and even further into it’s subject story, by creating emotions and feelings. But McQueen doesn’t roll that way, and although I respect his decision to keep it so, I still feel like it would have done him a great deal of good if he had decided to throw something in there for good effect. Maybe a couple more crying-sessions? Or character-development? Maybe? I’m just a dude with a blog, what do I know?!?!

What I do know though, is a great performance when I see one, and there is an exceptional one given by the always-excellent Chiwetel Ejiofor as none other than Mr. Solomon Northup himself. Ejiofor is one of these actors in which, it doesn’t matter how many great pieces of work he does in a year or throughout a whole career, he still will never be a household name. Which is a damn shame because the dude is so freakin’ talented, and has been showing this talent for years-on-end. I think now may be that time where it all changes, and he finally gets the credit he deserves. Now, I am not saying that he’ll win the Oscar this year, however, he will definitely be nominated and a sure-pick because of just what he goes through here.

Every emotion that that Northup feels, every thought that crosses his mind and every pain-staking reality that he is coming to terms with, Ejiofor channels in the most perfect ways. He’s very subtle with his emotions, but when he has to do let loose every once and awhile, you really feel the man’s strife for freedom and getting back to those that he loves the most: His family. You already feel bad for Northup in the beginning, considering that he’s practically tricked into slavery in the harshest way imaginable, but once things get going and he has to make decisions that will alter the rest of his future on Earth, then you realize that this is a human-being, no matter how many slavers around him try to prove to him otherwise. Some decisions he makes for the betterment of those around him, but sometimes, he makes decisions for the betterment of himself and to save his own ass. While any other movie based on this same story would have probably shown him as being a bit of a selfish guy, McQueen shows him with a moral compass in hand, making us realize that he’s just trying to survive, by any means necessary. He knows what’s right and what’s wrong, and the lines rarely ever get blurred. It’s only when others get in the way, is when they do, and Ejiofor shows this inner-conflict wonderfully, giving himself one of his best performances ever.

And trust me, that’s saying a lot. Don’t believe me? Just check out anything the cat’s ever done in his huge body-of-work. Trust me, you’ll be shocked to see what he was in. Minus this one. Yeah, on the second thought, don’t even bother with that one.

"Wanna go kill something? ANYTHING!?!??"

“Wanna go kill something? ANYTHING!?!??”

But while this is easily Ejifor’s show, he doesn’t necessarily steal it away from everybody else in this heavily-stacked cast. Which was a nice act on his part, considering that everybody you see in this movie, speaking-role or not, is a face that you’re at least familiar with. Actually, let me just get right off of a face that you’re not familiar with, as she is easily the most compelling character you’re going to get in this whole movie that isn’t Northup himself: Lupita Nyong’o as Patsey. If you don’t know that name, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Neither does anybody else, but after this movie, I think you’ll be hard-pressed to forget it as she is amazing in every scene she has as the slave that Northup sticks with the most, and easily runs into the most problems with. Early on, it’s shown that Patsey starts a relationship with a slaver, that is less about rape, than it’s more about her trying to pleasure him and stay alive for as long as she can. While this act may be deemed “dehumanizing” in most eyes, it seems like the only act that she has left to live by, therefore, is giving it all she’s got with every hump she takes. Nyong’o’s eyes are expressive and convey an emotion everytime she shows up on screen, so definitely expect a nomination for her come Oscar-time.

Another person that you may also expect to be hearing whose name pop-up a lot is Michael Fassbender, playing that said philandering-slaver, Edwin Epps. Fassbender’s character is one demented soul; the type of guy you wouldn’t want to be around when he took one too many shots, nor would you want to be owned by him neither. Basically, Fassbender goes crazy in all of the right ways that gives you the idea that this guy is a twisted person you do not want to get on the wrong side with, nor do you actually want to be around. You just want to do the work he’s demanded you to do, no “ifs”, “ands”, or biggity “buts” about it. However, there is some semblance of a soul deep inside of this man’s crazy well-being, and Fassbender allows that play out very rarely, but still in a believable way to where he isn’t so over-the-top, he’s downright laughable. Same can be said for Sarah Paulson, who plays his wife, Mary, in a very chilling, yet understated performance that tells us a lot about this character, without telling us much at all. She’s just that damn good of an actress, one that I wish got more notice.

Others in this movie that are pretty damn hard to watch, mostly by of how despicable and unlikable they are, are performers such as Paul Dano as a worker that feuds with Northup many times, Paul Giamatti as an owner whose trying to make a quick buck as a business salesman who specializes in human-lives, Garret Dillahunt as a rare-case of being known as a white slave, among many of the black faces, but still can’t be trusted, Alfre Woodard as mistress that takes pride in the fact that she bangs her owner and gets treated like a white woman and especially Benedict Cumberthatch who plays one of the first slave owners Northup deals with, and is more sympathetic than the others out there, because even though he realizes is bad, he still does nothing about it. Instead, he just continues on with his business, selling away more and more humans lives, like many others were doing at that same point in time; the same point in time we will never soon forget.

Consensus: Most definitely going to be the one film you must see before the year ends, 12 Years a Slave is a harrowing, uncomfortable, somber and disturbing look inside the life of one man who had a journey much like many others during this time-frame, and yet, still never gave up hope and did all he could do to survive at any costs.

8.5 / 10 = Matinee!!

Yep, even he's ready for what's to come by the end of the year.

Yep, even he’s ready for what’s to come by the end of the year.

Photo’s Credit to: IMDBColliderJobloComingSoon.net

The Counselor (2013)

Seems like everybody has to be a drug dealer nowadays. I place blame solely on Mr. White, that damn chemist.

A counselor (Michael Fassbender) has the life we would all like to live: Nice job, nice house, nice wife he so frequently pleasures (Penelope Cruz) and all sorts of other glamorous things around him. However, the life we would all like to have, apparently isn’t enough for him, which gets him involved with the drug-trafficking business in hopes of making some extra cash-flow here and there on the side. This is when the counselor gets involved with shady characters like Reiner (Javier Bardem), Westray (Brad Pitt) and perhaps the most suspicious of all, Malkina (Cameron Diaz), who seems like she has more up to her sleeve then just banging the hell out of her boyfriend and automobiles. Maybe she has something to do with this drug-dealing business which, as a result, draws further consequences for the counselor and all of his fellow associates involved with this deal that suddenly goes sour.

There’s been a lot said about the Counselor, and most of it is deserved. It is an odd piece of filmmaking, filled with more uneven pieces than actual comprehensive ones, but somehow, it works. See, the film’s marketing really created a shit-storm for this because it seemed like all it promised was non-stop sex, drugs, bullets, murder and DEA agents. However, that couldn’t have been further from the truth as this is more or less, another crime-thriller in the vein of last year’s Killing Them Softly: It’s all about pacing, baby. Pacing, pacing, pacing. And if you’re willing to stick by it, even when it does get incredibly strange, then you’ll find yourself happy and confused.

Don’t worry, those feelings are good because it’s abundantly clear that Ridley Scott and Cormac McCarthy both want you to feel this way.

He really needs something more?

He really needs something more?

Making a mention of Cormac McCarthy is probably the most important aspect in reviewing this movie because while some out there may not be familiar with him before seeing this movie, it’s almost imperative of you to know that his style of writing is not one that mixes so well with movies. Yes, he does have a stylish tongue that he likes to use on all of his characters and he definitely doesn’t have the happiest outlook on the world surrounding him, but because I already knew this, the movie was an easier pill to swallow than it most likely was for some, even in its weirdest moments.

The weird moments that i continue to allude to come at you aplenty here, but the most infamous one that seems to be getting the most attention, is the scene where Cameron Diaz’s character bangs a car. Honestly, this scene is so random, so strange and so out-of-place, that I honestly wondered who the hell saw this in the final-cut and thought it was okay to leave in. I get that it was supposed to be telling us that this character was not your normal female heroine, as in that she definitely likes to get what she wants right away, but it was just too distracting to get by, no matter how understandable the character’s motivations were. The only thing making it easier to get through this scene is Javier Bardem’s crazy faces and narration, which can be even more painful to see and hear, all because you’ll wonder what movie it is that you’re watching after awhile.

Thankfully, right after this scene, the movie gets somewhat back on track and shows us how these characters respond when shit begins to hit the fan. Everything leading up to this half, don’t get me wrong, was good because it focused a lot on dialogue and the setting-up of what would be a very tense final-half; but once this half kicks in, you do realize that the cast has finally taken notice of the type of material they’re given to work with, which is also, oddly enough, when Scott decides to throw some of his artistic-direction in as well. And as odd as it may be to say, this is probably the least “Ridley Scott-ish” movie he’s ever done. Not only is he restrained, but any moments that give him a free-reign to just get nuts with the look of the film, he somehow backs out on. Can’t say I was disappointed with seeing this, considering that the material didn’t seem like it demanded much of an overbearing style to get in the way of it, but I did also wish I saw some more of Ridley Scott in here. Just a shaky-cam bit or two. At least.

But I can’t get on Scott’s case too much because he does do the nice deed of letting the cast and script come together in a way that this flick so desperately needed in order to survive and stay interesting. And what a great coming-together of actors and material, save for one that I’ll get onto in a bit. Leading the cast is Michael Fassbender who, if you don’t know by now, is not just the most handsome mofo in the whole world, but also one talented dude as well that seems to be popping up more and more now for American audiences to get used to. While this won’t make him a household name by any stretch of the imagination, his role as the counselor shows us that he’s able to handle a film like this all to himself, where he practically goes from one character to the next, talking, showing emotion, giving each one of them a different piece of his personality and just creating a person that we can either loathe, or love. But sometimes with this character, it’s at the same time because he isn’t the most moral guy in the world, but then again, he isn’t the most evil one either; he’s just a guy trying to make some few extra bills here and there, in order to make a life for his wife more glamorous than it already is. He’s greedy for sure, but he isn’t a terrible person for that; he’s just a person. Plain and simple.

Fassbender’s best parts in this movie come mainly from the scenes he each has with both Javier Bardem and Brad Pitt, which makes it all the more tragic that all three never show up on-screen together at one point. Disappointing, but at least we still get to see them all act their asses off and have fun while doing so. Bardem has that crazy hair going on, but gives his character plenty of personality to where you really like the dude, but due to the company he surrounds himself with, you still never quite know if he can fully be trusted. And as for Pitt, well, needless to say, the guy steals the show everytime he shows up, which is sadly only about 15-minutes out of the whole 2-hour run-time. Pitt not only fills his character with plenty of wistful charm and coolness, but also gives him a slight humane-aspect as well, that somehow has him come off as the most reasonable human-being in the whole movie. The character only seems like he could be written for the screen, and yet, he still comes off like a relateable guy that knows what type of business he’s dealing with, and won’t think twice about who he throws under the bus, once that time eventually comes around.

"Yee-haw, baby. Yee-haw."

“Yee-haw, baby. Yee-haw.”

The boys in the cast have plenty to play with, which is good, but also disappointing as well, considering that the girls don’t fare quite as well. Penelope Cruz is underused, but sweet, soft and a bit sassy with her performance as the counselor’s girl who doesn’t always nag him about what he’s doing for most of the hours of the day, and is just happy to know that he’s alive, safe and still loves her. Total girl of his dreams, as well as all of ours, indeed.

However, I would have traded a whole flick dedicated wholly to Cruz’s character, if that meant we didn’t get a single scene of Cameron Diaz’s Malkina, all because she is absolutely, positively terrible in this movie and it gets very, very hard to watch after awhile. I remember when this flick first got announced and its cast was shown to us, I remember thinking that Cameron Diaz had herself an Oscar-nominee in the bag because the character of Malkina wasn’t the type we usually associate her with. There’s no inkling whatsoever of a heart, a soul or even the typical charm we usually see come from her performances; she’s actually the total opposite, which is probably the biggest problem with Diaz’s performance in the first place. Not only can she not play-against type to save her life, but she’s so outmatched by everybody else here that it makes you wonder who the hell she beat out for this role to get it. The accent she supposedly has, goes in, and it goes out; everytime she talks about something, she’s supposed to come off as “one bad-ass bitch”, but instead, seems like she’s trying WAY too hard; and if you don’t include her previously-mentioned scene where she humps a car, there’s no arch whatsoever to be found in this character, but it doesn’t hurt as much because you don’t care. I’ll give Diaz some credit for stepping out of her comfort-zone and doing a total 180, but it comes off more like a miscast opportunity, then a respectable one in terms of her career and where it’s going. Can’t say that same thing for the others here, only her.

Consensus: Definitely not the type of film its marketing has been promising, which is why, for better or worse, the Counselor is worth a watch to see what happens when you give a good cast, some worthy material, and just let them do their thing, as odd as that “thing” in question may be at times.

7 / 10 = Rental!!

This is when it all begins.....

The car is so willing…..

Photo’s Credit to: IMDBColliderJobloComingSoon.net

Hunger (2008)

A cheeseburger is looking pretty good right about now.

Michael Fassbender plays Bobby Sands, an IRA volunteer and M.P. who led the second IRA hunger strike and participated in the “no wash” protest in which Republican prisoners tried to regain political status when it was revoked by the British government in 1976.

After checking seeing the sex-addiction flick last year, also known as Shame, I realized that this director Steve McQueen (go ahead, make the jokes) definitely has something to prove in terms of visual-style and the lengths he will go in order for us to feel as destroyed and hurt as his subjects are. This approach definitely limits your audience no matter what story you can throw-out there on the screen, but for a guy like this, and the story he’s tackling, it’s the only approach.

Yeah, for all of you people out there who don’t know (as I don’t either) apparently every member of the IRA who got thrown in jail, didn’t give into anything in there. They didn’t take clothes, they didn’t take food, they didn’t take beds, hell, they didn’t even take any toiletries  Basically, they just shat everywhere, let it run-loose, be naked all day, everyday, and sit there in their dirt and filth. If that doesn’t make you want to make a shower just thinking about it, then just wait till you see this movie, because it’s one gritty mofo that McQueen knows how to film.

What I like so much about McQueen’s style of film-making is that he doesn’t over-exploit whatever it is that he’s trying to say. Instead of having these long, winded speeches about the point he’s trying to get across, he instead, let’s the images speak for themselves and if you don’t believe me, seriously, count how many times you hear somebody speak a lick of dialogue in the first 45 minutes. I kid you not, other than about 25 minutes or so of actual-dialogue, the film takes the “silent treatment” and doesn’t let us forget about it, either. It may all sound boring, slow, and dull, but McQueen keeps things interesting, alive, and always gritty. “Gritty” is the exact-way you need to tell a story about a bunch of dudes who don’t shower and sleep in piles of their own shit.

As gritty and dirty as it may sound, and actually is, McQueen still doesn’t let that get in the way of his style and shows us that there is a lot of pain to be seen in this prison. A couple of memorable sequences stuck with me like the tracking-shot of all of the prisoners getting their arses beat to shreds by a bunch of dudes with clubs, or the tracking-shot of the dude sweeping-up all of the urine left in the hallway by the prisoners, but the one shot that sticks in my mind the best is probably the most obvious choice, but with good reason, too.

See this shot? You better, because that’s half of the movie right there.

There’s this scene that takes place in the middle of the movie where Bobby and this priest meet-up to talk about why Bobby shouldn’t move ahead with his hunger strike idea of a protest that’s indented into his mind, and it’s not just the most memorable scene because it holds the longest single-shot in cinematic history (17 minutes long, yikes!), but because it’s the scene where the whole movie comes alive. The way these two men speak to each other about life, religion, and what’s right and what’s wrong, is absolutely brilliant and makes you see the point-of-view of both sides. You see the realistic, humanistic-side of how a person should keep their pride by keeping their own lives, but then you see the politically-inspired, rebellious-side as well stating that a person should, and can do anything and everything they want, as long as they are sticking clear to what they believe in. It provides us a look at both-sides of the coin and makes us realize that maybe fighting for what you believe in, no matter how extreme it may be, is the most effective-way of rebellion after all. Now, I don’t think the flick is saying that the only way you can get a point across is to starve yourself to death, but what I do think it’s saying is that the people who were in the IRA and protested, fought for what they believed in, no matter how crazy it may been seen-by from other people’s standards and ideas.

“For the last time, it’s call METHOD-ACTING! Now seriously, help me up.”

But see, that scene, as great and powerful as it may be, is also the last scene where anything really seems to happen and keep your mind on what’s going on, because after that, it sort of goes downhill from there. After this scene, we have about 30 minutes left of the actual-film and as happy as I was to see that when the scene finally ended, I was a bit disappointed by how McQueen didn’t seem to capitalize on the energy and the emotional-stride this flick seemed to have. The last 30 minutes, are literally just dedicated to Bobby looking like a needle, not eating, sleeping all day and night, throwing-up blood, not eating, still sleeping, having day dreams of a time he remembers the most vividly from his childhood, not eating, getting a visit from his mammy and pappy, and then (*SPOILER*, I guess), passing away and dying a very slow and painful death. Yeah, it’s pretty damn repetitive after the first 10 minutes and it doesn’t stop from there, which means that we have to just sit-there and watch as a guy practically kills himself, right in-front of our own eyes. Not a fun-experience, but then again, I wasn’t expecting fun, but instead, just wanted the movie to move 0n and get going.

However, even if these last 30 minutes seem to fail the rest of the movie, Michael Fassbender is still compelling as hell to watch and it’s so obvious why the guy is the huge, up-and-coming star that he is today. Bobby Sands is the main-character of this story, yet, doesn’t show-up until half-way through the second act but when he does get involved, it’s all Fassbender’s show from there and it’s a show worth watching from start-to-finish because this guy just has so much power on the screen, it’s hard to take your eyes off of or think of anything else. Fassbender goes all “Christian Bale” with his role, and gets mega-skinny to the point of where I really don’t think he even ate bread crumbs. That’s how bad he looks but that’s still a good thing for him and his performance since it really shows you the passion and dedication he has for his characters, something we all know and love about him now.

Consensus: Hunger may fall-apart by the last 30 minutes, but it before all of that, it’s a powerful and gritty, yet stylistic-tale of one man’s fight for what he believes in, played so passionately by Michael Fassbender who really shows us what he has, way before he became the big star he is today.

8 / 10 = Matinee!!

"You heard me right: I need you to shit more."

“You heard me right: I need you to shit more.”

Prometheus (2012)

Crews of explorers should just not go into space unless they are with a freakin’ army.

Prometheus centers around a team of explorers who discover a clue to the origins of mankind on Earth, leading them on a thrilling journey to the darkest corners of the universe. There, they must fight a terrifying battle to save the future of the human race.

Let me just start off by saying that after watching Alien and realizing it to be the true sci-fi/horror classic that everybody has ranted about, I was very pumped for this quasi-prequel of sorts. Problem is, when you watch Alien, there isn’t really any need to see this flick.

What makes this “prequel” so different from many others out there, is that it’s directed by Ridley Scott himself. The thing with Scott, is that he won’t just go for a quick and easy job where he’ll just make some moolah. No, instead he’ll put his heart and soul into production that quite frankly, deserves it and that’s what makes this film better than plenty of the other prequels we see out there. Scott brings us back to the universe he made famous and expands it, answering more questions for us that we already had. But even though this film’s big selling point is it’s tie-in to Alien, it’s a real beautiful film to just gaze at.

Scott always has a great attention to detail and his production design for Prometheus just totally backs that up. There’s some cool, futuristic stuff here like space suits, vehicles, holographic displays, medical devices composed solely of robots, and plenty of other impressive treats to see here as well. Everything looks so dazzling, especially if you see it in 3D, where a couple of scenes may just take you by surprise by how you feel like you can just reach-out and touch whatever it is that’s on the screen. Some real beautiful stuff here, mainly because Scott feels something for this universe that he’s created and has given all of his might to make it work.

The problem with this flick isn’t really Scott’s fault, it’s more of the story itself. The core of this story is basically Alien done all over again. Crew wakes up out of deep sleep, spaceship lands on mysterious alien planet for some strange reason, crew discovers some ancient alien crap, alien force is awakened by them, people get others infected, and then they are all picked off one by one. It’s pretty obvious where this story is headed, because it’s pretty much the same thing around and that took away from the surprise factor for me. I knew that only a few were coming out alive and the only sense of guessing with this film, was who was it going to be. Sadly, I guessed right.

Even though this film is about 2 hours long, for some odd reason, a lot of it feels like there were some actual big scenes cut-out from the final product. The main reason for me saying this is because there’s a lot that goes down here, that makes no sense and seems somewhat random. One example is how Captain Janek is able to explain the purpose of aliens and what was inside of them so damn quickly. It almost comes out of nowhere, without any clues or signs to how Janek must have known this and comes off like a way to make the finale hit harder. Another example is how David knows how to work the Space Jockey devices without any faults whatsoever. How did he know how to do all of this? What, did he just learn it all by reading a bunch pictographs from Earth or is it just that he’s so totally uber smart cause he’s a robot and all? Not explained at all and it gets even worse when he can apparently speak the alien language fluently, as if he has been doing it his whole life. Yup, didn’t make any sense.

Scott does do a pretty good job with the pace of this film and I can easily see that he put a lot of effort into making this film thrilling, just like he did with Alien. However, there is a huge difference between both of those films and it’s pretty obvious considering the whole hour and 50 minutes of that movie was filled with tension out the wahzoo, whereas this one, had about 4 to 5 scenes of actual tension in it’s whole 2 hour run-time. I don’t know what it was about this flick that made it so different but for some reason, I wasn’t really on-the-edge of my seat wondering what was going to happen next to these characters. I just sort of sat there and kept on waiting for Scott to really knock me out of my seat. Which was a shame too, because there seemed to be plenty of opportunities for Scott to do this but just ended up, well, keeping me somewhat satisfied. Somewhat satisfied is not something I want to feel with a product like this, especially when it’s coming from Ridley Scott.

As for the performances, everybody is good but nothing out-standing by any means. Noomi Rapace is fine as our leading lady, Elizabeth Shaw, but feels too much like Ripley and definitely isn’t as strong as her considering we never fully see her lash-out and get “tough”. She just runs away and screams, except for one scene that feels too much like the infamous “chest bursting” scene from AlienLogan Marshall-Green looks like Tom Hardy, but is fine as Charlie Holloway even though the character comes off extremely dicky at times, to the point of where you don’t care if he lives or dies. Charlize Theron plays a villain for the second week in a row, but is more subtle and stoic this time as Meredith Vickers and does a good job with her, even though I think they could have done more with her. Idris Elba is good as Captain Janek and probably has the most likable personality on the whole spaceship.

Probably the stand-out performance from this cast would have to be Michael Fassbender as the robot David. David is a pretty unsettling character the whole way through this flick as you have no idea whether or not he’s going to be good or going to be bad. He’s also a character that sort of just goes his own way the whole movie and doesn’t really care about the others, but you still can’t let that get in the way of what you may think of him since we all know that robots in sci-fi movies usually aren’t the nicest “things” around. Thankfully, those results are told to us by the end but for some very brief moments, he kept me guessing and I think a lot of that is credit to Fassbender’s skills as an actor. Wish I had more to say about him considering he was the best but it’s just one of those good performances that are notable once you see the movie.

I usually love Guy Pearce in everything he does, but his casting here as Peter Weyland just didn’t seem like it belonged in this movie at all. Peter Weyland is an elderly character, so why did Scott feel it was necessary to cast a younger dude as him and just keep on stuffing his face with make-up and effects. First of all, it looks stupid and fake, and secondly, it just seems like such a waste of a talent like Guy Pearce.

Consensus: Prometheus has some great moments that dazzle and excite, but still has plenty of pot-holes that make this story more confusing, makes the characters seem very one-dimensional, and also make a lot of the genius opportunities Ridley Scott had here, seem to go right out the window.

7/10=Rental!!

Haywire (2012)

Who needs acting when you can just beat the crap out of everybody around?

Mallory Kane (Gina Carano) is a highly trained operative who works for a government security contractor in the dirtiest, most dangerous corners of the world. After successfully freeing a Chinese journalist held hostage, she is double crossed and left for dead by someone close to her in her own agency. Suddenly the target of skilled assassins who know her every move, Mallory must find the truth in order to stay alive.

Seeing that this is definitely Steven Soderbergh trying to eff with our heads in by giving us a non-experienced actress with a whole lot to do for one flick, I didn’t know what to really think going in. However, with his first step into the action genre, I can definitely say that he didn’t eff with us too bad here.

The one thing that Soderbergh does perfectly here is give us an action flick that feels way different from any other one that has been released within the past year or so. All of the fight sequences are filmed wonderfully with no score whatsoever, just going with the flow of the punches, kicks, and breaks while also being filmed in a very wide lense to give it this realistic feel. Yes, fighting sequences that are somewhat realistic, crazy right? Soderbergh just plays and plays with the whole conventions of what we come to know and see as an action flick and it seems like an experiment rather than an actual film, but an experiment that does a pretty good job none the less.

I also liked how Soderbergh kept everything very minimal. The film basically consists of people running, shooting, and fighting, all to the glorious sound of jazz music that made me feel as if I was in a little club in New Orleans. The plot is very simple and there isn’t a whole bunch of talking about what’s going on, or even talking in general. Soderbergh doesn’t feel the need to spell everything out to us and instead of giving us a highly confusing plot, he backs it up with a lot of ass-kicking to keep our minds avert on the screen without ever losing us, after we have just realized that this far far different from what we have seen from any other action flick.

The problem that this film runs into is that when the action isn’t going down, things start to get a little dull. When the film starts to lean towards its plot and doesn’t really give us much action to hold onto, the film starts to lose us mainly because the story just isn’t all that interesting in the first place and to be honest, we have seen the same premise done before. I understand that Soderbergh and his writers weren’t trying to rely on the plot as much as they were with the action, but it still could have been handled a lot better to fully keep our attentions when people weren’t getting their faces knocked in.

Another main problem with this flick comes with the whole casting of MMA star Gina Carano. Carano did not have any prior acting experience to this flick and for a character like Mallory Kane you have to have somebody that can look the part, which she definitely does. All of her action scenes are awesome and she definitely looks like that chick you do not want to piss off one bit let alone screw over in a huge-ass CIA exchange. However when it comes to actually talking like a bad-ass, Carano can’t do that.

I have to give Soderbergh credit for not leaving this inexperienced actor out to dry with this material, because she could have easily just gotten chewed up in every single scene but it’s just that Carano doesn’t do anything here at all. Her character feels like a big block of wood that has no emotions and gives off the same voice to every single response. Now take it for granted, the “voice” in this flick is not the same one she has in real life (it was apparently dubbed) but even if it wasn’t hers, it still sounds terrible because almost every line she drops, she sounds like she’s reading them right off the cue-card as it is. I hope that Carano is reading this now and wants to beat the shit out of me, but honestly baby, keep to your MMA career. But damn is she sexy!

The rest of the cast is very good though, which I do think was very deliberate considering Soderbergh definitely knew he couldn’t sell a film on just one chick who nobody outside of the MMA world knew. Ewan McGregor seems to having a lot of fun as the slimy and evil Kenneth; Michael Fassbender isn’t around for much as you could probably tell from the previews (and even the poster) but he still is pretty good with his devilish charm; Channing Tatum does an alright job here as Aaron; Bill Paxton is nice to watch as John Kane considering I didn’t know he did movies anymore; and Antonio Banderas and Michael Douglas show up here as the usual assholes they usually play in most of their recent films and do nice jobs as well. Basically, the whole supporting cast is great but it’s just a shame that Carano kind of makes us look past that with her stiff delivery.

Consensus: Haywire is definitely not the usual action flick we are so used to seeing nowadays, with realistic fight sequences, jazz music, and a very good supporting cast, but the problem this flick hits is with its leading star that can’t get through her lines and sort of just lets the whole film down in the process.

6.5/10=Rental!!

Shame (2011)

Apparently being addicted to sex isn’t fun. Dammit!

Michael Fassbender stars as Brandon, a sex-addict who is constantly bedding women almost each and every single night. However, his sister (Carey Mulligan) soon comes in to live with him and gets in the way of his life-style even though he continues to get worse and worse. Family and sexy-time just don’t really mix.

Other than almost seeing ‘Blue Valentine’ last year when it still had the rating, this marks my first time ever seeing an NC-17 flick, even though it weird is that I didn’t get carded. For some reason they have just never been my thing because they are usually always porno flicks that try to do something, but end up not doing anything. However, this is a flick that I’m glad to say deserved its rating and doesn’t hide away any pee-pees, ta-ta’s, or…well…you know…lady parts.

Writer/director Steve McQueen (no, this one) goes for the guts, or should I say wieners, and keeps this dreary and freaky mood where everything is dark, disturbing, and just not right. There isn’t a real driving force behind this narrative but to see the ways this guy goes about his days, popping b’s left-and-right still made me feel like something crazy was going to happen next.

What I liked about McQueen’s direction is that he actually doesn’t try to spell-out anything, except for the sex of course but even that to an extent is somewhat thought-provoking. McQueen lets us see this guy for what he is and what he’s suffering with and when things go from bad to worse, it’s hard to take your eyes off of the screen mainly because you know that this story is just going to get crazier and crazier. I never felt any emotional attachment to this story but I thought the way that McQueen showed this form of addiction, in it’s sad and dark haze, was very gutsy and he didn’t back down from showing anything, which I thought needed to be done to get the full experience of this film.

Where McQueen really nails this film down is in his way of filming, because being an artist himself, he shows that you can make anything great to look at. I love tracking shots and how McQueen keeps them going on for scene-after-scene was really great because it made me feel as if I was there and it was pretty nice to actually see somebody create tension by using just one shot the whole 5-10  minutes. There are a lot of memorable moments here where McQueen doesn’t cut away once such as the dinner scene he had with his co-worker, or when he’s jogging through the streets of NYC, or when he’s just standing there spying on his next sexual prey. McQueen really added a lot to this film other than just a bunch of really dirty sexy-time scenes, he made this feel real.

However, where this method fails is when he takes a little too long with certain scenes that I think should have been cut right away. I think anybody reading this knows what scene I’m talking about. The scene where Mulligan absolutely butchers the song “New York, New York” played on for way too long and instead of just trying to show us something that these characters share, it made me wonder just how much longer could this damn scene go on for? I mean it wasn’t that long of a song in the first place, right?

Another problem with this film is that the film does start to lose it’s own sight by the end, even though it always stayed interesting. I felt like this film really struck a cord with me when it came to its story, but how everything played out in the end seemed a tad predictable and unfocused. There were certain moments where an idea would pop into my head and I would imagine if what I was thinking, would actually happen in the flick, and 9 times out of 10, it actually happened. What I’m trying to say is that the last 30 minutes were predictable and I could tell what was going to happen next, even though my eyes were still glued to the screen.

The reason why this film felt unfocused by the end too was because there were a lot of characters, situations, and questions that were around within the first hour of the flick, but somehow found their own ways of leaving as soon as things start to get a little crazy. There were questions about this brother and sister on whether or not they actually had incest, and to be truly honest I think they did. However, I can’t be too sure because this film may sort of gives hints to that whole idea, I still think that there were a lot of questions about that and many other certain elements that this film brought up as well. Hey, I liked how McQueen didn’t try to spell it all out for us, but I still think he should have at least left us with a bit more answers.

Once again, Michael Fassbender owns in a role that needs him to do so. Take it for granted, he’s pretty much doing a Christian Bale impersonation right from the start but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t deliver like you would expect a sex-junkie to do so. Fassbender really does let it ALL hang out and with a performance like this, it’s easy to see why he can definitely be an Oscar winner because he’s able to show so many emotions without even barely moving his face. He’s a sly dude when it comes to him getting the ladies, but when he has to show off some real emotions, Fassbender nails it and gives us a glimpse at a guy that seems trapped by his own demons which makes him ultimately vulnerable. This is a very physical and emotional performance for Fassbender, and one that I think he does a superb job in even though he probably won’t get nominated for an Oscar because it’s “too racy”. Besides he should win an Oscar just for being able to piss on camera, which is something I have never seen on film before and since I can’t even pee with somebody standing right behind me, I got to give some props to a guy that can do it in front of a whole film-crew. Carey Mulligan is also pretty good as the foul-mouthed sister of his, but when it comes to being Fassbender’s sister in this flick, you kind of get over-shadowed big-time.

Consensus: Shame ends up leaving more questions unanswered than we would have liked but the vision of Steve McQueen and the unrelenting performance from Fassbender, makes this flick a dark and dreary story that gets crazier and disturbing as it goes on, but with a lot more emotion still left in-tact.

8.5/10=Matinee!!

A Dangerous Method (2011)

Sir PSYCHO Sexy.

Viggo Mortensen stars as Sigmund Freud, whose relationship with fellow psychology luminary Carl Jung (Michael Fassbender) is tested when Sabina Spielrein (Keira Knightley), one of the first female psychoanalysts, enters their lives. It’s also even better that Sabina is a crazy psycho who just wants to bone.

I had a feeling that this flick was going to be a little strange, considering that it’s directed by David Cronenberg, but it really wasn’t, which now seeing this, I kind of wish it was more strange.

The overall subject matter of this film is pretty interesting because it’s showing the beginning days of psychoanalysis, and there is a lot of talk about the human body and all the types of limitations we may go towards. This all seems like something we would love to see and hear about but sometimes overly-talky films don’t produce anything great to watch, they can just be downright boring.

I think where this film mostly fails is the fact that there’s nothing here that’s really happening that kept me watching the whole time. This is really just a traditional love story with a bunch of cool-ass scientists, talking, and some spanking. Something just feels somewhat lost in the mix of the dramatic-whop this film was supposed to give off because there are times when the film had my interest, then others it just totally lost me cause nothing seemed like it was happening.

A lot of things happen here such as World War I breaking out, Sabina marries some other dude, Freud and Jung traveling to America, and they also have falling out between each other. This seems like it would have you shocked at every single turn but nothing adds up to much drama. It was almost like watching a whole series of vignettes that really never amount to anything, other than ideas that could have really done something if its material just had some sparkle to it. The film also starts in 1904 and ends in probably 1921 but we never know when the year changes and n0body ever seems to age, or even show a change of character as the time’s go on.

Regardless of the emotion that is not in this film, there is a great look and sound to it. The costumes, set pieces, and buildings all look very exquisite as if I was there right there with them in early 1900’s Switzerland. The score also comes in at good times where it doesn’t feel like it’s trying to make us feel anything, but all that is pretty much wasted considering the fact that I couldn’t feel anything with this story.

Michael Fassbender is good at bringing Carl Jung to life with this sort of buttoned-down and relaxed way to him that doesn’t get in the way of his character likability; Viggo Mortenson plays it pretty solidly as Sigmund Freud, who brings charm and wit to his role that only a seasoned actor like him could do and pull off so well; and Vincent Cassel’s short role as Otto Gross is pretty good but his character is not on for long, and it seems more like an extended cameo rather than an actual supporting role for this flick.

I’m still wondering if I could say that Keira Knightley’s performance as Sabina was terrific, because she does over-act quite a bit but at the same time, her character seems very real. I think she was supposed to over-act, which is something she does very good with but her own character starts to settle down by the end and she creates this very rich and innocent character. She goes from being totally off-putting to likable and I think she deserved to be in a movie that suited her performance better.

Consensus: David Cronenberg brings out good performances with his cast, but A Dangerous Method lacks an engaging story that brings about some interesting topics and happenings, but never amounts to anything other than being a total bore.

4/10=SomeOleBullShitt!!

X-Men: First Class (2011)

The greatest mutant bromance ever told.

Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) and Erik Lehnsherr (Michael Fassbender) — the future Professor X and Magneto — are best friends dedicated to harnessing their powers and promoting the education of fellow mutants during the turbulent 1960s. The duo works together to stop a powerful adversary that threatens mankind, but their ideological differences drive them apart and turn them into ferocious enemies.

I’m a big follower of the X-Men. I like the first two X-Men films, and the last two, let’s just say are a little out-there. However, this prequel brings back that flair that I’ve wanted within that genre, since that crap with just Wolverine.

Director Matthew Vaughn who did the “wanna-be” superhero film last year, Kick-Ass, does a surprisingly great job of actually bringing that fun, but very detailed to this story. Vaughn does a great job of keeping this story at a quick pace, with all these different sub-plots and story devices going on at once, but it’s still paced very well and not once did I feel like I was lost in the confusion.

There’s also a great feeling to this screenplay because not only is there a little bit of humor here and there, but it’s also great to see the beginning of the friendship between Professor X and Magneto. Professor X is more like Martin Luther King Jr. as he wants peace in a kind way, while Magneto is more like the Malcolm X type, and believes any force necessary. I liked how this story plays out well and their friendship is the real heart of where the story is located. It must have been hard for four screen-writers to be on this, but somehow, it seems to work out so well.

The action is also amazing. Vaughn really knows how to make the crowd go “wow” with his visuals because they keep on getting cooler and cooler as the whole film continues. There are also a couple of epic scenes with missiles, submarines, and even a couple of bangin’ showdowns between the mutants that step into some unpredictable territory that will keep your eyes fully glued to the screen.

My main problem with this film is that I feel like that this film had so many stuff going at once, that I thought what really worked, didn’t get much attention and other things just sort of dragged it down. Also, I felt they tried to do too many philosophical themes here that didn’t quite work out in the final product, because once you think about it, this is an X-Men film and you don’t really need to say much else.

This whole cast is amazing though. James McAvoy brings that cool and laid-back approach to Professor X and works very well; Michael Fassbender is also great as Magneto and makes him seem like the total mean, and vindictive villain that he is, although his Irish accent comes out a couple of times when he’s trying to sound Polish. These two together have great “buddy” chemistry that makes this film stand-out from any other ordinary superhero flick. Kevin Bacon is pretty good as the smarmy bastard Sebastian Shaw; Jennifer Lawrence is also very good and sexy as a young Mystique; and the rest of the cast does a good job too with the likes of Oliver Platt, Rose Byrne, and the all grown-up Nicholas Hoult. Ohh how they get so old! The weakest link in this cast would probably have to be January Jones as Emma Frost, because even though she looks the part, she doesn’t really bring much to this performance and is ultimately forgettable altogether.

Consensus: It may try it’s luck at times, but X-Men: First Class is a well-scripted, stylishly directed superhero flick from Matthew Vaughn that keeps the action running at a fast-pace, and the actors doing great jobs with the material. This Summer movie season just keeps getting better and better.

8.5/10=Matinee!!

300 (2007)

Had me totally convinced that I was born in the wrong century.

Retelling the ancient Battle of Thermopylae, it depicts the titanic clash in which King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and 300 Spartans fought to the death against Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) and his massive Persian army.

300 is the definitive 21st century guy movie. If you tell me that you watched 300, and didn’t automatically get inspired to hit the gym, and possibly a couple of people on the way, well then I will call you a huge liar. Or Persian.

This is adapted from Frank Miller’s graphic novel, which is also based off some actual true history right here. The film itself is directed by Zack Snyder, the guy who’s behind The Watchmen, Dawn of the Dead, and the new Superman film coming up and I must say that having seen this guy’s films he really does know how to make a film, as crazy and hectic as it may be, look beautiful. The visuals are outstanding, and the constant flairs of all these different colors hitting the screen, put you in this world where bloodshed is everywhere and only the strong will survive. This provides some beautiful shots, with some even better cinematography that seemed so hard to pull off, but somehow they did.

The one thing that some people may not actually see about this film is that it is about 40 minutes long, if it were to play in real-time. But instead Zack “Slow-Mo” Snyder makes almost every single action hit, stab, cut, kill, etc. it slow-motion which didn’t bother me at first, until I realized that almost everything is like this, and bothered me because I just felt like it was lazy directing to create a cooler look to the action.

However, despite that, I must say that the action is freakin’ awesome! Since this is a guy’s film you got non-stop shouting, bleeding, beheading, delimbing, swords going all over the place, shields being destroyed, and most of all you have those male-bonding scenes that may seem like a GLAAD parade with all these half-naked dudes in sweat and dirt, but as soon as you see the first action sequence that’s all off your mind, and you just wanna see some more people get thrashed to shreds. If you look away at one scene because this is too graphic for you, you are not a real man, I should know too (site name).

The script is full-on machismo with these one-dimensional caricatures talking like WWE wrestler’s. Honestly though, who cannot forget “THISSSS ISSS SPARTAAAA” or “Give them nothing! But take from them everything!!!!”. The dialogue may seem all a bit laughable, but in the end, the action just holds you over for good, and you will find you and your bros quoting this long after.

Gerard Butler is the freakin’ man as Leonidas, and perfectly captures that look and spirit that we image the Spartan warriors to have been. It’s just a shame that all he does is shit now, but we can always look back at the days when he was actually good. Lena Headey is also good as well as beautiful as his beautiful wife Gorgo. I also liked seeing Dennis Rodman as Xerxes. Oh…that wasn’t him…..could have had me fooled. It was also nice to see other stars in this such as Michael Fassbender, Dominic West, and David Wenham.

Consensus: Not to be taken too seriously, 300 is a more of an orgy of violence and gore, rather than an actual history document, but will entertain the hell out of all dudes, as well as provide plenty and I do mean plenty of beautiful visuals.

8/10=Matinee!!!

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Screw actual history! This is the kind of stuff I want to be taught in history class!

A Jewish cinema owner (Mélanie Laurent) in occupied Paris is forced to host a Nazi movie premiere, where a radical group of American Jewish soldiers called the Basterds, led by Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt), plans to roll out a score-settling scheme. The face-off is about to go down — that’s if Col. Hans Landa aka “The Jew Hunter” (Christoph Waltz, in an Oscar-winning role) doesn’t get in the way.

I watched, and reviewed this last year but something just came back inside of me that I had the total need to see this. It also still lives up to the first time.

One of my favorites of all-time, writer/director Quentin Tarantino is an absolute genius with his work here. Whether it’s on the keyboard, or behind the camera, this crazy son-of-a-bitch knows how to make great movies, and this no different. Now if there’s one thing I know that this film will do, and that’s cause a lot of high school history teachers heart-attacks over the historical inaccuracies here. The way that this film was so historically inaccurate was actually pretty inspiring and awesome to see actually come out on screen, because I’m sort of sick and tired of seeing the Oscar-bait WWII/Holocaust films that Hollywood turns out every year, and I feel like Tarantino is just sticking his middle finger out to that whole machine.

Honestly though, who cares about those inaccuracies because this movie is down-right amazing. The script is just near-perfect with the usual twists and turns you would expect, the film references are there but not so annoying this go-around, and you are constantly on the edge of your seat being entertained, and also wondering what’s just going to happen next. There are many scenes here where I had no idea what was just going to occur next, and the suspense keeps on building up, and up until the final conclusion which is usually just so crazy. Also, let’s not forget that there is plenty of awesome, bloody violence here but nothing that Tarantino fans, have already come to enjoy and understand.

My only problem with this film is that it does drag on too long for some scenes. A lot of this signature talkiness that I have come to know and love from Tarantino, happens and works here, but there are just times where I felt myself wondering just why the hell are they keeping this going for so long. If you also look at the title too, it says Inglorious Basterds. These guys are probably the best parts of the film, but aren’t in it as much since there are about 3 other subplots. However, I still enjoyed these subplots and loved each and every time these Basterds were on screen.

Brad Pitt as Lt. Aldo Raine was a freakin’ riot here! He does this cracker-jack shtick that masterfully brings out his comedic charm for this character, and brings out all the well-deserved laughs in between the violence and suspense. In the end, he plays Tarantino’s cartoon character brilliantly, and that’s all we ask for. The whole film was promoted on Pitt, but the real center-piece here is Christoph Waltz in the Oscar-winning role as German S.S. Colonel Hans Landa. I honestly don’t know how this guy could be so good at playing someone so evil? He is probably one of the best good bad guys ever on film, and I know it’s hard to understand but it’s one of those things you have to see to believe. His character is just one of those evil, smart, witty, and manipulative villains that you want to hate so much, but can’t help but commend him for actually being so smart and actually amusing. Mélanie Laurent as Shosanna is also amazing in this role, and really brings out some powerful emotions within her character just by using her facial expressions and it works so well with her character. There is a huge cast here that are also very good such as Michael Fassbender, Eli Roth, Daniel Brühl, Diane Kruger, Til Schweiger, B.J. Novak, and also a surprisingly very good little cameo from Mike Myers. This guy needs to come back it’s been too long.

Consensus: Though some viewers will be thrown off by a lot of the talking, Quentin Tarantino still has that masterful mind to have viewers thoroughly enjoyed by his amazing script, non-stop suspense, and great acting from the cast that looks like their all just having a great time.

9/10=Full Pricee!!