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Dan the Man's Movie Reviews

All my aimless thoughts, ideas, and ramblings, all packed into one site!

Tag Archives: Nick Swardson

The Ridiculous 6 (2015)

RidiculousposterAt least Tarantino has a Western coming out.

In the old West, a man by the name of Tommy Stockburn (Adam Sandler) is raised by Native Americans, where everyone calls him “White Knife”. While he doesn’t know who his real father is, he still hopes to meet him one eventual day. After getting kidnapped by a bunch of bad, evil bandits, Stockburn finally understands who his father is (Nick Nolte), which leads him on a trip. Along the way, he ends up meeting 5 other men who, believe it or not, also happen to be his brothers and looking for their father as well. There’s Chico (Terry Crews), a black man who doesn’t know that he’s black; there’s Herm (Jorge Garcia), who can’t speak a single discernible line of dialogue; there’s the slow and obviously mentally challenged Lil’ Pete (Taylor Lautner); there’s the slippery Hispanic named Ramon (Rob Schneider); and last, but not least, there’s the cool and suave Danny (Luke Wilson). Together, they will search far and wide for their father, while at the same time, also stopping any wrong-doings they encounter along the way.

PT, where are you?

PT, where are you?

Why is Netflix making an Adam Sandler movie? Better yet, why are they making not one, not two, and hell, not three, but actually four Adam Sandler movies? Well, folks, in the biz, that’s what we like to call “profit”. Apparently a lot of Sandler’s movies are exceptionally popular on Netflix and it brings into question just in what capacity people want to actually watch his movies.

Do they either want to get in their cars, drive a half-hour, spend nearly $20 on tickets and concessions, watch and spend a few good hours of their lives watching as Sandler and all of his pals get paid vacations? Or do they want to just sit at home, think of something to do, and when push comes to shove, just watch them? Because, if you think about it, it doesn’t really cost much to begin with, so what’s the big deal?

But no matter which way you put it, you should not see the Ridiculous 6. Even though it’s not getting the same treatment as Netflix’s Beasts of No Nation and not playing in any actual movie theaters, it still doesn’t matter. You should not see this movie so therefore, just don’t even bother getting into your Netflix account, either.

Just stay away and spend time with your friends, families, or whoever else, cause anything would be better.

And yes, I know I sound incredibly dramatic right now, but seriously, it’s the truth. Not only is the Ridiculous 6 nearly two-hours long, but it has hardly a laugh to be found. There was maybe one chuckle or two to be found, but other than that? Nope. For the most part, it’s the same as it is with just about every other Sandler movie: The jokes are lazy, tired, and most of the times, offensive to just about every demographic out there in society.

This is something obvious to expect from a Happy Madison production, but what surprises me so much is how this movie, at times, seems to be trying to parody other Westerns. The Magnificent Seven is the clear genre example they use to poke fun at, but honestly, you’d never notice unless you actually saw that movie to begin with; there’s no real actual jokes made at the expense at the genre, or any attempt to be satirical. Everything is, as it appears to be, just made for the sake of being jokes and having people laugh, which surprisingly enough, doesn’t actually seem to happen.

Which is all the more depressing because you take a look at the cast and realize that most of these people involved don’t need this movie to help them out, either financially or professionally speaking.

A lot of Sandler’s buddies like Nick Swardson, David Spade, Dan Patrick, Rob Schneider, and Jon Lovitz all show up and it’s no surprise that they’re here, so it’s not all that upsetting when they show their faces here. However, it’s the likes of people like Luke Wilson, Nick Nolte, Will Forte, Steve Zahn, Danny Trejo, Harvey Keitel, Steve Buscemi, John Turturro, and well, yes, even Taylor Lautner, who actually make me sad because you know they don’t really need the help at all. They’ve all got fine careers to begin with and are probably making as much money as Hollywood stars in their positions should be, so why are they even bothering with this? Is it just a favor to Sandler? Or is it just because they’re bored, the paycheck looked that nice, and well, they didn’t really give a hoot?

Keep on looking, boys, you're not going to find a good movie anywhere.

Keep on looking, boys, you’re not going to find a good movie anywhere.

Whatever the reasons were, it’s just a shame to see them all here trying to do what they can with an awful script, a misguided direction from, yet again, another one of Sandler’s buddies, Frank Coraci, and jokes that nobody in their right mind would try to deliver. That none of the jokes actually land, also call into question just what Sandler actually considers “humor” nowadays. Because Sandler co-wrote the script here, my mind automatically shoots to assuming that he did it because he had a contract obligation and decided to piece together a bunch of non-sequiturs and lame gags, regardless of if he actually found them funny.

Because yes people, Adam Sandler actually is funny.

However, here, as with the countless other flicks in his long career, he’s hardly shown it. As an actor, he seems awfully tired and bored here, which already makes me wish that somebody who is actually an innovative, intelligent director would pick him back up and give him something to do. This is something I state in just about every review of an Adam Sandler movie, but it’s the truth: Now, after all of these stinkers, it’s become more and more clear that he doesn’t care, is just collecting the money that flows in, and is going to continue to keep on making hack-jobs such as this. When it will end, nobody knows. All I do know is that Adam Sandler has clearly given up and you know what?

We’ve got three more of these movies.

Enjoy, folks.

Consensus: As expected, the Ridiculous 6 is another one of Adam Sandler’s hack-fests where jokes fly, yet, never land, everybody looks embarrassed, and everyone feels as if they’ve just lost hours of their lives they can’t get back. Except, in this case, it’s two hours.

1 / 10

Yes. I feel bad for this guy.

Yes. I feel bad for this guy.

Photos Courtesy of: Joblo, Hollywood Life

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Grown Ups 2 (2013)

When Rob Schneider doesn’t show up, you know you’re in trouble.

This is going to be quite a difficult task because, all joking aside, there is no plot here. Basically, it’s just four middle-aged men (Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade) spending a day together where they fart, burp, sneeze, get peed on by a deer, start fights with fraternities, go skinny-dipping in lakes, ogle over hot, young and busty women, love their kids, wife, family and at the end of the day, try to have a good time by throwing an “80’s-themed party” where they try to relive their glory days when times were simpler and a lot less shitty when they didn’t have responsibilities to deal with.

And yes, I was reaching to try and come up with something there that made sense, but let’s face it: A plot does not matter for this movie. All that matters is that these guys get to make fun of other people around them, act like fools, commit acts as if they were young, wild and free, all over again, and fart A LOT. That’s pretty much all there is to this movie and though you can definitely say that I deserve any sort of pain I may have garnered from watching this movie, even though I clearly knew it was a train-wreck from the very beginning, I just couldn’t help myself.

We get it, YOU'RE SO DAMN PLEASED WITH YOURSELVES!!

“Poop jokes! AHAHAHA!!”

I’m a two-bit movie critic, yes, but I’m also a movie lover, and I have to watch EACH AND EVERY SINGLE MOVIE that I can possibly see, dammit!

So, in this case, curiosity did in fact kill the cat and I decided to actually give this a watch. No, I did not expect greatness and no, I did not expect to even laugh a single bit, and well, that’s pretty much what I got. None of this ever funny, and it just seems like everybody involved is either slumming it all the way down to hell with what they think is mildly amusing, all for the sake of a nice, healthy paycheck, so that they can continue to go on and make more shitty flicks that nobody in the world with the least amount of self-respect would want to go see. Or, if they did somehow get roped into seeing it, that they would at least not enjoy themselves while watching it.

There are jokes that miss, there are jokes that fall flat, and then, there are jokes that hit the ground, dig a hole into the Earth’s core, cause an eruption of destruction, havoc and mayhem, which only pleases those who have a sheer fondness for deer’s urine. Seriously, this movie is not funny. I chuckled maybe once or twice, and you know why and by whom? Fuckin’ Taylor fuckin’ Lautner! That’s right! That freakin’ stud from the Twilight movies, is the only funny thing in this whole movie that not only has Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Salma Hayek, Maria Bello, Colin Quinn, Tim Meadows, Maya Rudolph, Andy Samberg, Steve Buscemi, Taran Killam, and Shaquille O’Neal, but even has Stone Cold Steve Austin for lord’s sakes! I mean, WHAT THE HELL?!?!? How does a travesty like this even occur!?!?!

And you bet your sweet rumps that I mentioned all of those famous, well-known names for a reason, because here are all people that have shown us, many, MANY other times in the history of this world, that they are capable of making us laugh and entertain the hell out of us. So therefore, you’d think that a movie that has all of their talents involved with one movie would clearly be the laugh-out-loud riotous-fest of the year, let alone the decade, right!?!? Well, no!!!!! Apparently, nobody here seems to have a clear idea of what constitutes being considered “funny”, “humorous”, or even “smart” for that matter. It’s all dumb, it’s all painful to watch, and it’s all so damn freakin’ sad because everybody here is talented and can do great, amazing things for this world, but none of them ever made me laugh or have a good time.

Except for FUCKIN’ TAYLOR FUCKIN’ LAUTNER.

Seriously though, everyone, I do apologize for cursing up a storm. You don’t normally see this side from me and you sure as hell don’t see me so enraged over a movie like I am with this, but there’s all a reason that I will continue to hammer over the head to death with: Everybody here knows better (with the exception of director Dennis Dugan cause, quite frankly, that guy doesn’t know shit about anything good). I always love to consider myself a huge Adam Sandler fan because I’ve always felt like the guy has a keen-sense of humor that is a bit on the dumb side, and definitely isn’t for everybody, but he’s made me laugh and that’s fine for me. He’s even shown us all some interesting sides to his acting-abilities by taking up some very interesting roles that seem to always work, as well as earn him respect from people who have always considered him an imbecile. So why the guy decides to keep on destroying his credibility as a comedian, is totally beyond me. All I do know is that he needs to quit making these types of fucking movies, and he needs it do it right fucking now. It seems like the year of 2014 definitely has him stepping in that right direction, but there’s always another one of these piles of excrement just peaking around the corner.

Same goes for the rest of this cast, mainly the three other numskulls that help him out with this movie. Chris Rock is by far, without a doubt in my mind, one of the funniest comedians who has ever lived and will continue to be so, regardless of how many of these shitty movies he decides to be apart of; Kevin James makes everything he shows up in, just a bit better by doing his normal, Chris Farley-shtick, and he’ll always garner a “pass” from me, due solely to the fact that King of Queens was one of my favorite shows growing-up; and, no matter what the haters may say, David Spade makes me laugh. I’ve seen a few of his stand-up specials and he’s always made me laugh-out-loud quite a few times, as well as the work he puts into the nonstop sitcoms he shows up in as well. So yeah, from what we know and see, these guys are able to be funny and just have us enjoy the hell out of their presences, but why they all continue to do junk like this makes me ponder my fan-dom and respect for these guys all of the damn time.

Not even anybody from what is considered one of the funniest shows on television can make a laugh happen.

Not even those from what is considered one of the funniest shows on television can make a laugh happen.

It’s a damn shame too, really, because these are the types of guys that comedy should be looking-up to and saying, “This is how you do it”. Nowadays though, it’s just the same old routine we seem to be getting from these folks, mainly Sandler: Get a bunch of money from Happy Madison; get the same cast, crew and buddies to work; cobble-up a plot that doesn’t even have to be cohesive in any way, shape or form; write-out a script that concerns a lot of bathroom humor, sex jokes, homophobia, and messages about how family matters; film in some back-lot that makes every movie look like it was filmed on the sun; make sure that the movies feature cameos from anybody that’s even the slightest bit considered a “celebrity”; and most importantly, DON’T FORGET ABOUT THE PRODUCT-PLACEMENTS. Wouldn’t want to lose any money over that, now would we?

But yeah, you can tell that I pretty much hated this movie, but this one hits even closer to home because it shows you just how easy it is for somebody to get junk made, solely because they’re famous, and have money, power and all the string-pulling one person could possibly get. The first Grown Ups already made showed that statement to be true, but this one, on the second go-around, we already know what to expect and yes, it is a whole lot worse this time around.

However though, this one does have FUCKIN’ TAYLOR FUCKIN’ LAUTNER around, and I guess you could that there’s at least a “slight improvement” to be found there? Then again, maybe not. Both movies fucking blow and please do whatever you possibly can to stay the fuck away from them. Mainly this hour-and-a-half-long show-reel of human feces.

Consensus: Without thinking about this too hard, or even trying to dig in deeper as to what the real problem with Grown Ups 2 is, it doesn’t matter. The movie’s not funny, hard-to-watch and an example of exactly how low Sandler and all of his buddies will go to make some more money, and continue to make more piles of dung that are exactly, if not worse, than this.

1.5 / 10 = Crapola!!

Thank you, Taylor. You've done something right for a change.

Thank you, Taylor. You’ve done something right for a change.

Photo’s Credit to: IMDBColliderJobloComingSoon.net

A Haunted House (2013)

Please let the ghost prevail in the end. Please.

A young couple, Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) and Keisha (Essence Atkins), have recently settled into what they believe is their dream house but all of a sudden figure out that there is a ghostly/paranormal presence around and they try and figure out what to do next with it. Hi-jinx and shenanigans ensue, as you could assume.

I don’t think the plot-synopsis up above even deserves to be there as I could probably describe this movie to you in three words and you’ll most likely make up your mind as to whether or not you want to see it; fart, sex, race. If that is your type of lowbrow humor, then hey, this is your bag, baby, but if it’s not and you like a little more jazz for your material, then you may not want to even bother checking out this bag, baby. Seriously, baby, just don’t!

To be honest, I’m no square when it comes to my comedy. I don’t mind if they’re stupid and just like to throw the dirty jokes at the wall, and see what sticks, just as long as it’s funny. This movie has those same, exact elements but yet, just isn’t funny. I will admit, there were probably five times (that’s one hand) that I actually chuckled during this movie, but other than those times, the rest of the hour-and-thirty-six-minute movie just felt like pure torture while everybody else around me laughed, heckled, and practically pissed their pants. Hey, I guess that’s just the life of a movie critic. It’s the road I chose and it’s the road I have to deal with, and that’s why watching movies like these definitely make me re-think that road, sometimes.

Actually, I wouldn’t even go that far but I will say that this movie is just not funny. Any time it seems like Marlon Wayans has a chance to be smart or witty with his jokes about how generic the horror-genre can get, he drops the ball and replaces those jokes with another fart-noise or scene of somebody having intense, crazy sex. The horror genre definitely got a nice refresher last year with Cabin in the Woods, and it would have been nice to see another hit at that same genre, from a guy who was one of the first to really hit it hard (Scary Movie), but Wayans and director Michael Tiddes aren’t too concerned with that. They just want to be lowbrow, for the sake of being lowbrow and not realizing that if a joke doesn’t work the first time, then by God all means, it most likely won’t work for the seventh or eighth time.

I don't think anybody told him that getting in bed with a Wayan, won't and hasn't been able to help your career out since 2000. And that's pushing it.

I don’t think anybody told him that getting in bed with a Wayan, won’t and hasn’t been able to help your career out since 2000. And that’s pushing it.

Take this for instance, the other characters in this movie that just show-up, act and make total asses of themselves, and leave. Nick Swardson is a guy I always find funny in all things that he does (Bucky Larson doesn’t count, Bucky Larson should never count) and here, it seems like he would have a scene-stealing role as the gay psychic who constantly hits on Wayans and tries to get him to turn to the gay-side. However, as soon as the guy shows up on-screen and continues to ask him if he’s ever been with another man, it just continues on and on and on, almost until the movie never feels like it’s going to end with the non-stop gay jokes. I like a good gay joke as much as the next, straight man that just so happens to be watching, but when you do it time after time, and make it the same joke, then it’s just annoying and seems like you may need a bit of help when it comes to being fresh or original. Whether you choose one or the other, this flick is neither.

The same thing you say about Swardson, could be said about everybody else in this freakin’ flick, especially Cedric the Entertainer, who really seems like he needs a stand-up comedy gig, and soon as well. Actually, everybody who shows up, at least tries and barely (I do repeat, BARELY) got a few chuckles out of me, but they are basically the whole backbone to this movie and are simply there to save it. However, saving this movie, is just something they cannot do when they are given this terrible of a script. It’s a shame too, because you have a lot of talented people here that seem like they were once at the top of their game and in ways, still are, but just don’t have any clue what to do here when it comes to being caricatures. And even if they have been caricatures before, then let me just say that these are not good caricatures that you can laugh at. You more or less want them to just go away and not come back to the flick and yet, they continue to show-up. I guess Wayans just didn’t know when to stop, in terms of script and the characters.

Oh, sweet, sweet memories of Pulp Fiction. And even worse, they fucking reference that movie in this!! What the fuck?!?!?

Oh, sweet, sweet memories of Pulp Fiction. And even worse, they fucking reference that movie in this!! What the fuck?!?!?

Even Wayans himself is oddly annoying and throughout the whole movie I just kept thinking to myself, “Wasn’t this guy freakin’ amazing as the druggie from Requiem for a Dream?!? Holy Shit! He was!!”. Now, obviously some people would probably argue with me and say otherwise, but you can’t lie, he was good in that movie and he was pretty good at comedy back in his hey-day, but now, he just seems like the old guy that can’t get rid of the same punch-lines he’s used before. He’s like that old cook who’s going through Alzheimer’s and doesn’t realize that everybody’s giving him pity laughs, when he tells a joke, because it’s the same one he’s been using for the past 10 years. Now Wayans is only 40, but it still seems like he is way far back in his head and in the game to be making jokes, let alone to be acting like a little teenager again, as if he just snuck-out with mommies car. It may be a tad weird saying this, but; I think Wayans is way past his prime and should just hang-up the mic before he gets way, way into over his head. Sort of like Eddie Murphy before him. Heck, wasn’t this guy supposed to play Richard Pryor!??! Hell to the no on that shizz-nit!

Consensus: A Haunted House will probably have any bored and sexually-frustrated thirteen-year-old, crapping his pants at what’s on-display, but if you’re a person who wants more than just fart, poop, ball, dick, sex, gay, and racist jokes, then you may shit out of luck here and don’t worry, Scary Movie 5 is on it’s way soon! Woo-hoo!

2 / 10 = Crapola!!

I guess they got a chance to see the final-product.

I guess they got a chance to see the final-product.

Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (2011)

Small weenies are so funny….

After discovering that his mild-mannered parents were huge porn stars in the 1970s, a young man (Nick Swardson) bids farewell to his small Iowa hometown and seeks his destiny in Los Angeles, where he aims to become the world’s most popular adult-film actor. The only problem is that he is not that well-equipped if you know what I mean.

Knowing that it scored a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes and was considered one of the biggest box-office flops of 2011, you are all probably wondering why I even wasted my time reviewing this. Well my friends, let’s just say I didn’t want to say that ‘Apollo 18’ was the worst flick of the year.

Directed by Tom Brady (no not that one, but it could have possibly been done by him) this is a flick that takes essentially a one-joke premise and stretches it out beyond belief, until there is absolutely nothing funny in it at all. The whole film is basically just about this dude Bucky Larson who has a small pee-pee and takes the porn industry by storm and gives hope to everyone all over the world. It’s a stupid idea in the first place but it just keeps on getting worse and worse until the point of where I had nothing to actually laugh at let alone even watch.

This is also all thanks to Adam Sandler, who actually co-wrote the script and since he has been doing a lot of PG/PG-13 comedies as of late, he’s finally allowed to once again branch out into R-rated territory, which makes this film even worse. The constant dick, sex, fart, boobs, vagina, and porn jokes just aren’t funny and instead of actually saying the word “dick”, they try all of these little cool slang words that I guess Sandler has been using for ages now but finally is able to let loose now that he isn’t catering to the whole family audience. Now of course I had about two chuckles that seemed completley forced but still chuckles none the less, but the whole formula of this fish-out-of-water comedy is just too lazy and the whole time this film just tries to resort to lame jokes that will only make you laugh if you’re the biggest perv in the world.

Now let me get to the real problem of this film and that is the title character himself, Bucky Larson played by Nick Swardson. I think that Swardson is a funny dude and I’m glad to see that he has finally gotten a chance to head-line a comedy for once but I just wish it was another flick and another character entirely since each quality is terribly annoying. Bucky is that kind-hearted, country bumpkin that was so sheltered from the outside world that he doesn’t know what to do around all of these naked chicks instead just automatically jizz everywhere that we usually get with these types of films, but it never works once here and I just wanted to punch Bucky in the face every time and knock those obviously fake buck-tooth out of his mouth. He’s annoying and he has this incredibly dumb Iowa accent where he over-exaggerates his r’s in everyday language. Poor Swardson, he deserves a lot better but the sad thing is that after being in a flick like this, it’s a little too hard to get anymore work that will even come close to having us forget about Bucky Larson.

Everybody in this film blows too, and are basically just a bunch of cartoon characters played by some familiar faces that we have seen every once and awhile. Christina Ricci is totally one-dimensional as Bucky’s lady-friend, Kathy McGee but she’s incredibly cute and hot so that was the one positive to her performance; Stephen Dorff plays the porn-industries own George Clooney as Dick Shadow, who looks like he came straight from an 80’s hair-metal music video and desperately wanted to go back after he realized what shit he just got put in; the incredibly washed-up Don Johnson doesn’t do anything here as the porno director, Miles Deep (Getttt ittt?!?!?!); and Kevin Nealon is probably the only one who had me chuckle and even that was a big-ass stretch considering this guy is so random and spends almost every single one of his scenes just screaming at the top of his lungs at something. You’ll of course see the usual Happy Madison crew pop-in every once and awhile but it’s a real shame that stars like Dorff and Ricci took shit like this considering they are very talented, and if this is the kind of material they’re going to be getting from now on then they should definitely fire whoever the hell is responsible for putting them in this crap.

Consensus: With a one-joke premise, unfunny jokes that seem to be raunchy just for the sake of being raunchy, and plenty of other annoying elements including the title character himself, Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star does nothing new with this obviously tired formula and is definitely one of the worst films of 2011.

0.5/10=SomeOleBullShitt!!

Jack and Jill (2011)

Adam Sandler’s career went up a hill, then totally plummeted.

Jack (Adam Sandler) has a nice quiet life with his family, until Thanksgiving comes and in comes strolling in his identical twin sister, Jill (also played by Sandler). She creates a huge problem for Jack especially when Al Pacino comes into the mix as a man who is very fond of Jill.

My expectations were already terribly low for this film going in considering that the trailer looked like one of those fake-films ‘Tropic Thunder’ had in the beginning, the 4% it now has Rotten Tomatoes, and the fact that it’s directed by Dennis Dugan, the genius behind ‘I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry’, ‘Grown Ups’, ‘You Don’t Mess With the Zohan‘, and the list goes on and on. Therefore, you know this is going to be shit.

In case you already can’t tell from the looks of it, this film is not funny but that’s not to say it doesn’t have some chuckles here and there. I had a chuckle and maybe one laugh-out-loud moment, but other than that, this film blows. I mean the film goes from fart-jokes, to obvious slap-stick, to anti-semantic jokes, and then randomly to jokes about Mexicans, hookers, Indians, and Al Pacino. The film varies all over the damn place. But not in a good way.

Another major problem with this film that I did not understand was how could anybody ever like Jill and her company, let alone her own twin brother. I mean she’s loud, annoying, mean, disgusting, talks loud, makes fun of chicks to their face, and gets sad at the most random things of all. I can’t really put any blame on Jack for not wanting to be around her because honestly, she annoyed the hell out of me just watching her, I could only imagine what it would be like to spend all of your favorite vacations with her.

Then the film tries to go for the little sympathetic note at the end where it tries to show that Jill just needs love, but what has she actually done that made her seem like she needed it and why the eff does Jack all of a sudden feel like he needs to give it to her despite practically trying to avoid her the whole 93 minutes. 93 minutes that I also must say felt as effin’ long as ‘The Godfather‘. As you can tell I’m trying to reference as many good films as I can just to get my mind off of this crap.

The performance from Adam Sandler that he gives for Jack and Jill really isn’t a bad one to say the least, there’s just nothing really all that funny about either of their characters so it kind of just doesn’t matter. It’s also really sad to say this because Sandler used to be one of the funniest guys in Hollywood and probably still could be if he wasn’t stuck doing shit where he gets to wear lip-stick, make-up, and woman’s clothes. Also, Katie Holmes plays his wife, as if she was trying to base her role off of a piece of card-board.

It was pretty fun to see all of these random cameos from people such as Regis Philbin, Dana Carvey, Drew Carey, Shaquille O’Neal, Jared (the Subway guy), Michael Irvin, Tim Meadows, and even David Spade. However they are all just here because Sandler has a lot of friends and keeps true to them but still doesn’t do much. Al Pacino is hilarious and shockingly convincing basically playing a nutty version as himself and is probably the main reason to see this film considering he is just so damn funny. The one laugh-out-loud moment I had with this film was because of him, which is saying a damn lot really.

Oh and there is also Johnny Depp wearing a Justin Beiber t-shirt saying that he was apart of Duran Duran. This is the most random bit of the whole movie and probably the most memorable, considering it lasts for only about 2 minutes.

Consensus: Jack and Jill had chuckles mostly thanks to Al Pacino, but other than that is just not funny because Jill is incredibly unlikable and just a person that nobody would ever want to be around, let alone her own brother.

2.5/10=SomeOleBullShitt!!

How ironic is it also that one of the last lines of this film was Pacino himself saying “Burn it!”? My thoughts exactly Al.

30 Minutes or Less (2011)

Hey, I say if a bomb is what gets us to get our pizzas faster, then I’m all for it.

Two small-town criminals (Danny McBride and Nick Swardson) planning a big-time bank heist wind up abducting pizza delivery driver Nick (Jesse Eisenberg) and forcing him to commit the robbery — giving him a strict time limit to boot. To pull off the caper, Nick enlists the aid of a former buddy (Aziz Ansari). With the law, the crooks and the clock all breathing down their necks, the duo also try to patch up their troubled friendship.

After noticing that this was going to be done by the same dude who did Zombieland, and it had one of it’s stars already in the film, I was uber excited. Not too disappointing either.

My problem with this film was that the beginning it really didn’t know what exactly it wanted to be just yet. I mean we have this story that focuses on both guys and just where they come from, what they do, and how their like but you don’t know whether it’s just going to be a dark comedy or just plain and simply jokes filled with cursing.

Though when the film picks up, it really had me going. The premise here is actually pretty cool I must say and the actual comedy that pursues it is also good as well. I laughed a lot here because it’s lowbrow humor, but lowbrow humor done right with still enough funny lines to keep you glued in. Now of course there is the fair share of dirty moments here too but not a lot of the humor was based on that, which is a real surprise since almost any comedy that comes out nowadays seems to be trying to one-up the other in raunch level.

However, though the comedy here did get a little too dark for my taste at points. Some person suffers a gun-shot wound in front of a little girl while she screams in a scary, non-comedic tone in one scene, which wasn’t very funny and more of disturbing. Also, there was a lot of moments where this film just felt crude and offensive just for the sake of shock value. There was a couple of black people jokes here that made me nervously laugh because there was actually a black person right next to me and I just kind of shrugged off the laugh, but this proved that it didn’t really need to be in there in the first place.

I also like how director Ruben Fleischer kept this film going at a brisk pace of just 82 minutes without really ever trying to get any real humanizing themes about its character, or central message across either. It’s just basically a lot of laughs, action, and some sexy women thrown in there but not too much.

The cast here is what really makes this film a total blast. Jesse Eisenberg is playing the same kind of twitchy and kind of geeky but funny character he always plays here as Nick; Aziz Ansari finally got his big role here as Chet and just lets it all out every second he gets fully making me laugh every time he was on screen; Danny McBride does the same character he always plays too but that still works once again as Dwayne; and Nick Swardson is also very funny but sort of sympathetic as Travis. All four play off of each other so well and add so much more hilarity to this film than anyone could expect.

Consensus: Though it’s comedy gets a little lost and the film itself takes a little bit of awhile to get going, 30 Minutes or Less is still very funny with lowbrow humor rather than just raunchy jokes, a talented cast, and a slick time limit that keeps this film moving along as more and more fun ensues.

7.5/10=Rental!!

Also, did anybody else notice the little “The Social Network” joke? Maybe I’m wrong but for some reason, I think that there was one put in here. Let me know if you noticed it too.