Dan the Man's Movie Reviews

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Tag Archives: Tom Hollander

The Riot Club (2015)

Rich kids get a bad rap. They’re just like you or I – except with lots more money, is all.

Milo Richards (Max Irons) is a first-year student at Oxford University and doesn’t really know what his place in the world, let alone at college. But he knows that he wants to start something up with fellow freshman Lauren (Holliday Grainger) who shows him that being popular and cool doesn’t matter once you’ve got someone special in your life. However, that doesn’t register with Milo, as he still finds himself drawn to certain people in and around the University that are deemed “cool”, or typically “posh”. That’s why when a group of young, rich hot-shots from other universities recruit Milo for what they call “the Riot Club”, he doesn’t go against it; in fact, he allows it. Once Milo’s apart of this group, he acts out in all sorts of ways he never quite expected himself to act out in the first place: Running, cursing, breaking things, partying, and generally causing all sorts of havoc. Eventually though, all of the good times Milo has with the club start to come to a close when he realizes that all of these fellas are up to no good and are absolute menaces to society – something Milo doesn’t want to be, nor associate himself with.

What we have here is another case of an interesting premise, and a movie that doesn’t know what to do with it, or how to go about saying what it wants to say in a smart, understood way. Instead, the Riot Club is a movie that wants to be two, completely different things: A) It wants to be the pint-sized version of the Wolf of Wall Street where young, British whippersnappers go around drinking, sexxing, and causing all sorts of chicanery for the hell of it, and B) It wants to be a cautionary tale for kids out there to not conform so easily to what all of the cool kids are doing, no matter how fun it may seem. The later element is a thoughtful one, but when it’s thrown-up against a movie that wants to praise the same assholes it’s talking out against, then there becomes something of a problem that’s hard to get by.

"To asshole d-baggery!"

“To asshole d-baggery, lads!”

This is a shame, too, because the Riot Club just so happens to come from the hands of Lone Scherfig, a director who seems to have fallen on the forgotten-path of life since One Day. Scherfig does a solid job of setting these characters up to be total and complete jackasses that, despite all of the fortune and fame that they may have, are absolute dicks that nobody wants to be around, let alone spend up to two hours with. However, Scherfig seems like she actually wants to hang out with them for two hours and because of that, the movie becomes a mess.

We want to not like these characters because of what they stand for – Scherfig knows this, too. However, she doesn’t allow for these characters, for the first two-halves that is, actually show their dark sides. They’re just young, rambunctious, and rowdy kids that like to cause mayhem wherever they go because, well, they can. They’re rich, spoiled and don’t have an absolute care in the world and while Scherfig may want us to like them, it’s very hard to.

That’s why when, all spoilers ahead, these d-bags get their comeuppance, it doesn’t feel organic. It feels thrown in there because Scherfig, realizing what sort of movie she was setting out to make, didn’t want to make it seem like she liked all of these characters to begin with. So, she shows them acting like a crazed lunatics that, when they have a little too much to drink, break down walls, throw tables, and beat the shit out of anybody that steps into their way. The way this is all shown at the end is a bit too cartoonish to take seriously, and not to mention that it’s all highly unbelievable.

Literally, these characters go from yelling, hooting and hollering about being rich and cool, but then, literally moments later, they’re acting like crazed lunatics in the midst of a prison riot. This would make sense of Scherfig ever made a hint of this throughout the whole piece, but she doesn’t; instead, we just see how these guys are dicks and that’s it. There’s no sign at all that they may be dangerously violent and possibly even lash-out on random, innocent people like they begin to do in the later-parts of this movie, for no reason whatsoever.

Professing your love on a roof? How original, mate.

Professing your love on a roof? How original, mate.

Maybe this is how these groups are in real life, I don’t know. All I know is that it takes an awful lot for people to start acting the way these characters do later on.

But honestly, all of the problems with the Riot Club would have been if Scherfig gave us someone worth reaching out towards and rooting for, but sadly, we don’t really get that. Sure, she gives us a sympathetic protagonist in Milo, but once you get down to the brass-tacks of this character, you realize that the only reason he’s written at all to be sympathetic, is because he doesn’t do nearly as much drinking, smoking or bad-assery as these fellows. He still does it when push comes to shove, but all he’s really got to live for is a girl and I guess that’s why he doesn’t partake as much in these hellacious activities.

That doesn’t really give us a character worth sympathizing with, let alone actually caring about, which is a huge problem where not only everybody seems to be unlikable, but are hard to really differentiate from one another. One character, played by Sam Reid, is the gay one who constantly hits on Milo, no matter how much he turns him down, but that’s pretty much it. Everybody else, from the likes of Sam Claflin to Douglas Booth, all are the same characters and hardly have any character-traits that make them seem more complex than the others. Not that there’s much to them to begin with, but hey, a little dimensions would’ve helped.

Consensus: Nobody in the Riot Club is likable, which is sort of the point of the movie, and sort of not, which makes it a non-interesting, repetitive mess.

2.5 / 10 

The bright, young faces of the new world. And for that, we're all screwed.

The bright, young faces of the new world. And for that, we’re all screwed.

Photo’s Credit to: IMDB, AceShowbiz


Valkyrie (2008)

But I thought Hitler died in a movie theater explosion? Stupid Hollywood and their tricks for making up history as they go!

After permanently losing his right eye and arm, Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg (Tom Cruise) is forced to come back to Nazi Germany, with a newfound respect from those around him, as well as a new mission on that he sets his sights on the most: Assassinating Hitler and making Germany a peaceful country once again. The problem isn’t that Hitler’s the most powerful man in Germany, whom almost nobody can double-cross and succeed at doing, but getting each and every person on the same page, so that the plot goes perfectly according to plan. There are people in high places involved, too, it’s just that they are so nervous, that they second-guess themselves so many times, that they either kill themselves, spill the beans to others, or screw up the plan while it’s going on. However, for those who are inspired to take down Hitler, they don’t back down, not even when the slightest misstep rears its ugly head. Which, during this plan, occurs many times – maybe moreso than anybody involved would have wanted. But such is the case when you’re trying to take down the powerful, almighty Führer.

First thing to mention, that is more than likely going to screw people over while watching this movie (if one decides to do so), is that every actor here, whether they be English, French, American, or, obviously, German, has to play a German character. There’s nothing different about that – heck, if an actor is called upon to do some sort of accent that isn’t of their own native-tongue, then there’s no doubt in their mind that they shouldn’t take it. However, what’s so strange here is that almost nobody in this cast, not even the German actors (as hard as they are to come by), even flirts with doing a German accent.

"So, the one Jew says to other Je-...... Oh, I mean, hey, fuck that Hitler guy, right?"

“So, the one Jew says to other Je-…… Oh, I mean, hey, fuck that Hitler guy, right?”

Perhaps the biggest criminal of this is Tom Cruise who, in the first few minutes, does a bit of German to show that he’s got the chops to be on-par with Liam Neeson in every which way; but a mere seconds later, he’s back to his original, American-dude accent that almost everybody is able to recognize right away and is distracting practically the whole way through. It makes sense if you English lads like Tom Wilkinson, or Kenneth Branagh, or even Bill Nighy in these German roles, cause at least they have an accent as is to work with, but Cruise, he has nothing. It’s just him talking, and acting like he’s Jerry Maguire all over again.

Except this time, instead of, “Show me the monaaaaay!”, it’s, “Heil Hitler!” Which, while we’re talking about it, he only does once, so relax over there ya Scientologists!

And it’s not that Cruise is bad really, it’s just that he’s playing Tom Cruise, which is neither good or bad, it’s just Tom Cruise. Especially so here, considering he doesn’t seem like he’s really trying to go for anything else other than the heroic, determined-type we’ve seen him throw himself into role, after role, after role. Nothing wrong with that, because the dude’s a pro at those types of roles, but it does get old after awhile when it seems like all you’re seeing is the same guy, play the same role, in the same kind of movie, except with different scenery around him. In this case, it’s Nazis, but honestly, throw in a scene of Cruise on the hood of a car, with that iconic track playing somewhere in the background, and you’ve practically got another Mission: Impossible movie.

Except, once again, their being Nazis and all.

The rest of the cast is fine, too, mostly because they’re easier to not be distracted by when they’re trying to sound a lick at all like German-folk, but there’s nobody here in particular that’s spectacular. Everybody’s fine and serviceable with what it is they have to do; which, most of the time, just consists of them clicking their heels, staring into space very intently, and sweating bullets, which was probably because Bryan Singer decided to douse all of them with Aquafina bottles before shooting. So yeah, that last part doesn’t count.

And speaking of Bryan Singer (all “under-aged boys parties”-jokes aside), the guy does what he can here with this material. He clearly wants to make this move, sizzle and spice like a Hitchock thriller, while at the same time, still harp on the fact that an evil man like Hitler actually existed and had immense power over thousands and thousands of people. However, what takes away from most of what Singer does here, is that it’s a story we all know the ending to. Okay, maybe not all of the little, itty, bitty, gritty details, but what we know is that the plan failed, Hitler lived, and all of those who were involved with the conspiracy theory in the first place, we’re all eventually killed anyway. So yeah, it sort of ends on a dim note, but that’s the kind of note we can expect from a movie like this, because that’s exactly what happened.

"Stop hanging out with the pirates!"

“Stop hanging out with pirates!”

It’s not like I’m saying that movies that have an ending we already know about, can’t be fun or exciting anyway possible, because they totally can. However, in order to do so, there needs to be a drive, or a certain feeling of emotion involved with the proceedings that makes us feel, even for a split-second, like this story’s outcome could happen differently than what we already know. It’s highly unlikely, but so are plots to plenty of movies; that’s why we need movies to go for the gold whenever they can, having us believe in the unbelievable, and throw all of our cards out on the table, as if we don’t know what’s going to happen next.

The problem is, we know what’s going to happen next, and Singer never gives it that drive. Nor does he do much else to keep the proceedings exciting. Just by-the-numbers, by-the-books, and that’s it.


So in a way, I guess I have to give Singer some credit for at least sticking to history as much as he could for the film’s sake, without ever allowing it to get too boring or preachy, but at the same time, I can’t help but wonder what the point was about this whole movie. We know that it wants to show us that Hitler was a bad man and that nearly everyone close to him wanted to stab him right in the back, but it doesn’t seem like anything new; person gets on top of their throne and now all of a sudden, everybody wants to take the throne away from said person. It’s a traditional story-route we’ve seen done a hundred times before, but I guess the only real aspect of this movie that separates it from the rest is that the person in that throne is, well, Adolf Hitler.

Oh, and also Nazis.

Consensus: Both Tom Cruise’s and Bryan Singer’s intentions are noble and make Valkyrie, for the most part, interesting to watch as the plot unfolds, but the problem is that we get what happens what happens at the end, and we can’t help but not really care for these generic characters more than we need to.

6 / 10 = Rental!!

"What are you talking about? These are our TPS Reports. Nothing else."

“Huh? What are you talking about? These are our TPS Reports. Nothing else.”

Photo’s Credit to:

About Time (2013)

I feel like plenty guys wish they could time travel, but only so they could bang the same hot girl, again and again.

Right as soon as Tim Lake (Domhnall Gleeson) turns the ripe age of 21, his father (Bill Nighy) lets him in on a little family secret: They can now both time travel. Of course, there are some rules; ones like not being able to travel to the future, only to places in time you’ve been to, and only that the males can perform this act. But regardless, it’s time travel, so take advantage of it while you can, right? Well, that is exactly what Tim does, but mostly so that he can pick up chicks and hopefully meet the love of his life, which he does do, and many of times too, with Mary (Rachel McAdams). Together, they build a relationship that Tim makes sure actually happens and stays put, but what he’s about to be awoken with is the fact that life shouldn’t always be re-played, over and over again. Sometimes you just have to live it the way it was meant to be lived, or else sometimes, bad things happen to the ones you love.

Since it seems like most rom-coms have been getting pretty stale as of late, it makes sense to throw the idea of time travel in there to spice things up, right? Well, yeah, because honestly, who doesn’t like a to manipulate time whenever they see fit? Especially when whomever it is that you’re manipulating time for just so happens to be Rachel McAdams, you know? So yeah, it’s definitely an inspired idea on the part of Richard Curtis, and one that he surprisingly sticks with for a good portion of the movie.

Shoes on the sandy beach? Must be a British thing.

Shoes on the sandy beach? Must be a British thing.

What this flick does so well with its idea for the first 30-45 minutes or so, is that it actually sticks to the ground-rules it lays down and also has a bit of fun with them as well. Any guy that sees this movie (seeing as that the only way that they would go is if they got roped into seeing this with their spouse or significant-other), will probably be able to relate to Tim right off the bat because he does everything with the time travel ability, that every dude would do. He goes out to meet women, and if he fails at making an impression on them, he takes notice of what he failed at, goes back in time, tries it again, and sees what can happen with this new approach. This goes on for quite some time and it was fun to watch, while also being quite humorous since it seemed like it had this honest-take on what lies within female, and male attraction, and what dudes will do to win their “dream girl”.

Eventually though, the whole romantic aspect of this movie does pillow in, and even then, the movie was still working and having fun with itself, if instead, this time, in a more “cute” way. Tim and Mary do make an appealing couple, especially since they both seem to ACTUALLY like one another, which makes it easy for us to want to see them happy, together, and always remaining in love. It’s very hard for most rom-coms out there to make us actually believe in the couple without having to make us see why they are perfect for one another, but this film somehow achieves that goal. They aren’t each other’s soul-mates, however, they work well for the other and keep one another happy. That in and of itself, made me, the cynic, happy, so yes, it’s safe to say that this movie’s magic was working on me.

And then, somewhere right slap-dab in the middle, the movie changes from being a rom-com, to a very dramatic, very sentimental movie about the sake of family and why it’s so important. And in case you couldn’t tell just by how dramatic I’m making this seem already, this is exactly where the movie began to lose me.

Not only did the movie begin to lose me because the edge of what made the first-half of the movie so honest and hilarious in its own sly, British way, but because Curtis begins to betray his own idea that seemed so key in making the film appealing in the first place. People who aren’t supposed to be involved with the time travel, all of a sudden have the ability to and are able to do it as easy as 1, 2, 3.; and terrible stuff that is supposed to happen due to time itself being tampered with, somehow doesn’t happen or seemed to be affected in the least bit. Everything just sort of stays the same, without any real effect or punishment.

But this is where I began to realize that not only did Curtis seem to be slipping up on the idea of time travel, and how to use it in a smart, well-done way that worked for the heavy-thinkers and regular-viewers abound, but he didn’t even seem too interested with it anymore either. In a way, dare I say it, Curtis was just using the time travel as a crutch for when he really wanted us to cry or soak in a puddle of our own tears, or simply, when he ran out of well-written ways to make us feel emotional. This is also where the character of Mary sort of gets thrown to the background, and Tim’s dad comes more into play, which was all fine because Bill Nighy’s an awesome presence to have in any movie, but it felt like a sudden-switch that wasn’t deserved for many reasons; the main which being that it just didn’t make sense.

Yes, maybe that’s just me picking it apart a tad too much, but I still feel like they would have had some really good material if they just stuck to their guns and cut-down the running-time. I mean, seriously: a 2-hour rom-com is enough as it is, but a 2-hour romance-movie where one-half is a rom-com, and the other is a family-drama? Yeah, you just about lost me about 50-minutes in, which sadly, is true.

Men, word of the wise, just stick around and seem interested if your lady promises you “something special” by the end of the night. Only reason why you should stay and hold your hand under your chin.

Usually, the creepy ginger kid on the subway doesn't get the girl, but that's why it's called the "fantasy genre", eh?

Usually, the creepy ginger kid on the subway doesn’t get the girl, but that’s why it’s called the “fantasy genre”, eh?

Keeping this ship afloat, even when it seems to be cruising without him, is Domhnall Gleeson who really feels like the perfect male-lead in a rom-com like this. Not only is he a ginger, but he’s a self-deprecating one that’s easy to feel sorry for, and even hate when he makes a bone-headed move. However, you always like him because he’s a lovable guy with his heart in the right place and you know that, no matter where his life takes him, he will always strive to make those around him happy, pleasant, and want to keep on living life just as much as he wants to. Gleeson definitely isn’t a big name for anybody outside of London, but I feel like if this movie gets a big enough audience, then he may be somewhat of a name to look out for here in the States. Only time will tell on that. That was sort of a pun, by the way.

Somebody who is a big name in the States, and probably in London, is Rachel McAdams who feels like she’s in her comfort-zone playing the meek, quiet, and sincere Mary, which is okay and all, but it also does feel like a bit of a waste of a very good talent who can do so much more with a character when she’s given the opportunity to. But I guess, for now, McAdams will stick with these sappy, melodramatic romance movies so that she can get a big enough paycheck and do something daring with her career. I don’t know, something like, say, Passion? Okay, bad choice. Never mind. Just stick with what you’re good with gal.

And of course Bill Nighy’s in this, stealing the show like usual. Not much more needs to be said about that guy other than the fact that I am just happy to see him doing more and more stuff to make us audiences happy. Keep it going, Bill!

Consensus: As soon as About Time begins, it is inspired, determined, smart, funny and faithful to its idea, but then soon begins to escalate into melodramatic, over-familiar trappings of what can easily make any audience member cry their eyes out, even if it doesn’t make much sense as to how they got there in the first place. In other words, it doesn’t make sense.

5.5 / 10 = Rental!! 

Must be saying something witty to her. Damn British bastards.

Must be saying something witty to her. Damn British bastards.

Photo’s Credit to:

Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End (2007)

Why couldn’t I have just boarded the ride instead?

After the last film took 2-and-a-half hours to get to no conclusion whatsoever, we once again follow-up with our heroes Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) and Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) as they venture out on a quest to free Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). Sparrow, in case you may not know this, made a deal with the devil, or should I say, The Flying Dutchman and Davy Jones (Bill Nighy). However, there’s more here than just that. Apparently everybody has their own demons to fight through and once you add the loser-government into the equation (lead by Tom Hollander), then hell is going to break loose. Oh, and apparently a Chinese pirate named Sao Feng (Chow Yun-Fat) has something to do with this story as well. Whatever that actually may be, I still do not know the answer to.

No matter how much trash this franchise gets, I’ve always been there supporting the hell out of these Pirates movies. I honestly could not give you a clear-reason as to why: maybe it’s because I saw the first one and loved it as a kid; maybe it’s because I went on the ride as a kid, only to see the movie the next year it came out; or maybe it’s because I’m a huge Keith Richards and Johnny Depp fan, and put together, then it’s just sex-at-the-cinemas for me? Whatever the cock-hold reason may be, I still find myself cheering for these movies, enjoying myself while watching them, and always going to bat for them, even as everybody tells me the same old excuses as to how they’re too long, boring, or tedious. And needless to say, after seeing this for the 3rd time; I have to say that they’re right, but also wrong as well.

Battle of the outlandish accents! GO!

Battle of the Outlandish Accents! GO!

What? You didn’t actually think I was going to give up the battle that easily, did ya? I’m still reeling for my pirates, even if they do overstay their welcome by about two-and-a-half hours.

Seriously man, this movie is way, way too fucking long and it almost never seems to end. After the movie starts off impressive with just the right air of mystery, intrigue, suspense, and action going on, the movie begins to get more and more bogged-down by unneeded subplots, love-triangles, exposition, and maps that are supposed to mean something and lead somewhere, but only serve as a plot-device to get every character in the movie to meet-up together in the end. And say what you will about the first one: at least it had a swashbuckling bit of a fun with itself, especially when it wasn’t taking-on needless myths and background stories to support all of the crazy shite these characters were getting involved in. Hell, even the second one, as long and over-stuffed as it may have been, was still fun and made you feel like all of the wait and suspense was worth it, especially once the last-act, slam-bang finale came in. Here, the movie makes you feel like you’ve been waiting forever, only to have you realize that you’re not even half-way through. You still have about an hour-and-a-half left to go, and you still have no idea what the fuck is going on.

That’s where I think Gore Verbinski really screwed the pooch with this movie: his pacing. The movie starts, and then it stops, and does the simple task of rinsing-and-repeating. It works for the first hour because you like these characters and this action enough to give it the benefit of the doubt, but once it gets past that hour-mark and you realize that you have a lot more on your hands than you actually took in, then you might start to get a little pissed, as did I, and this is coming from a person who’s seen this movie about three times by now. It never gets old to watch the movie, but next time I feel like watching this, I think I’m just going to go for the last 40 minutes, because that’s all that’s worth watching in this movie.

Man, I’d even say that the last 40 minutes of this flick is the only reason to even see this thing, especially considering how fun, epic, dark, and exciting it truly is. Verbinski takes his damn time getting to where the story needs to go and even though I’m still a bit left in the dark as to how the movie got where it did by the end and why, I still don’t care because it’s so much fun to watch, always offering something new to get a glimpse at again and again. Verbinski obviously took his budget into some serious-thought and shows us what he’s been up to, making “the most expensive movie ever made”. It’s as perfect as you were going to get back in the summer of ’07 and it’s a real shame for Disney and Verbinski that it wasn’t 3D when it first came out, or else this movie would have committed a mass-slaying at the box office. Seriously, it probably would still be making money, even to this day.

If that's jail, Orlando's screwed. Literally and figuratively speaking.

If that’s jail, Orlando’s screwed. Literally and figuratively speaking.

Okay, maybe that’s a bit of a ridiculous statement to make, but I think most of you out there smell what I’m trying to sell. The fact is that Verbinski knows exactly what he wants to do with all of the CGI and special-effects that he has packed into here, and it becomes less of a clutter of pretty-images, and more of a visual-feast that was deserved to be seen on the big-screen, as I did when it first came out. Twice. That said, thanks to the last 40 minutes for being so gosh darn fun, wacky, and wild (unlike the rest of the flick that’s surprisingly self-serious), the movie allows the “original” trilogy to go out with a bang. Ending with all of the subplots and myths finally put to be resolved or to rest and you feeling like you not only got through a fucking movie experience, this side of 2001, but one that was somehow boring, save for those said last 40 minutes.

But what would any Pirates movie be complete without jolly, good olde Johnny Depp in the iconic role as Jack Sparrow? Because, let’s face it, without him (both character and actor), this franchise would have all but folded by the summer of ’07. Nobody would have cared for another Pirates movie, people probably would have stopped wondering if Depp bothered to take showers anymore and there sure as hell wouldn’t have even been a strange fascination people had with pirates. The planned-franchise would have fallen flat on it’s face, died, and left in the banks of everybody’s memory; the ones who saw it, or didn’t even bother to see it. However, since Depp was in the lead role as Jack Sparrow and the character was as iconic as ever, the franchise was alive and well, and people expect this movie to be Depp’s crowning-achievement. It wasn’t, but at least the guy made the movie still all the better just by his presence being felt throughout the whole flick, regardless of if he was on-screen or not.

Actually, some may be surprised to know that with this flick, Sparrow is not on screen as much as you’d expect the franchise-character to be on. After the first 30 minutes, we finally see Sparrow and it’s Depp playing him at his nuttiest. The guy talks to himself, rambles on incoherently about lord knows what, and always seems to be back-stabbing anybody who takes his good faith into consideration. That’s just the sneaky-devil Jack Sparrow is and Depp plays him to perfection, still keeping him the most interesting and entertaining aspect of the whole movie. That’s a how a hard-feat for even the slickest-pro like Depp to pull off, but somehow he did it, made it work, and even got his own movie while he was at it. Then again, everybody practically predicted that one to happen.

Nice to see him show up, you know, when he wasn't climbing coconut trees.

Nice to see him show up, you know, when he wasn’t climbing coconut trees.

However, since Depp is the best part of this whole movie, that leaves all of his co-stars in the dust and left for scrutiny, no matter how hard each and every one of them try. The most noticeable of the co-stars left for scrutiny is definitely Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley who are both given more material here together or separate, than they should have ever been given. Don’t get me wrong, I like Bloom and Knightley and I think that they’re romance in the first two movies are what kept most of it humane and grounded in some sense of reality, but here, they’re just around and in love to serve a mechanism for the plot to make us happy, make us smile, and have us catch the ill-fated love bug. At the end, that latter aspect comes into play, oh so obviously, and is excruciating to watch, not because it isn’t romantic or anything; it’s just cheeky and trying way to hard to make us swoon for their love. It’s a lame way to end a romance that had so much promise, even from the first movie.

Geoffrey Rush is good once again as Barbossa and seems to be enjoying his stay in the role, even if he’s not as fun to watch because of the fact that he’s playing the good guy this time, and not the hammy-villain; there was also a lot of talk on this movie about Chow Yun-Fat’s role in the movie as the Chinese pirate, Sao Feng, which makes no sense because the dude’s barely in it and even when he is, gets annoying after awhile since he just goes on and on and on with the exposition nobody gives a shit about; and Bill Nighy is once again playing Davy Jones and plays him well, as you’d expect, but doesn’t really get the chance to let his character go any deeper than what was initially-promised. Same goes for the British actors who are all but wasted here in the forms of Tom Hollander, Jonathan Pryce, and especially, Jack Davenport who could have all been more interesting and compelling to watch on screen, but are never quite given that chance to shine and do their thang. Oh well. At least they collected a healthy paycheck from this, along with a new summer house.

Consensus: Rather than feeling like an epic event you have to see, whether it be on a big-screen at home or in a movie theater, POTC: AWE feels like it’s more of a chore to get through, rather than an actual fun, light, and entertaining movie, like the first two were, but without all of the heavy-baggage of useless subplots and exposition.

7 / 10 = Rental!!

Bigger bad-ass? Definitely that fireball in the middle. Rawr!

Bigger bad-ass? Definitely that fireball in the middle. Rawr!

Hanna (2011)

Thrillers need more techno beats.

Hanna (Saoirse Ronan) is a teenager raised and trained by her father (Eric Bana), an ex-CIA operative, to become a highly skilled assassin. But when she’s sent on a deadly mission across Europe, Hanna takes to an English family and starts longing for a normal life. She must first solve the puzzle of her mysterious past, however.

The fact that this is directed by Joe Wright (‘Atonement’, ‘The Soloist’), definitely makes this film stand-out a lot more considering this guy isn’t really known for adrenaline-bumping action flicks. Still, it’s great to see a director who can actually get out of his comfort zone a bit and actually do a pretty good job with it.

What I liked about Wright’s direction was how much style this dude put into this flick. There are plenty of beautiful visual moments where it almost seems like you’re watching a rave party go down and how he just keeps the camera moving on the action is very tense and creates this sort of “nowhere to hide” atmosphere. It takes a lot for a director to take a total 180 from doing Jane Austen adaptations to doing action films, but he definitely shows a lot more promise when it comes to action than a lot of these other directors that have seeming to been doing it for over 10 to 20 years by now.

What always kept staying in my mind the whole time with this flick was the awesome action scenes and how Wright’s style really added a whole bunch more to them. In ‘Atonement’, Wright used this 7 and a half minute tracking shot and it was not only beautiful but also very unneeded especially for that flick. He does the same thing here with a couple of scenes but there was one that stuck in my mind and it felt right to the whole movie considering it actually keeps on continuing to build up more and more as the shot continues. There was this one shot where we see Hanna’s dad get off of a bus and end up at a subway station where he is met by 4 dudes who obviously want to beat his ass and the camera never leaves as we see him walking and then kicking ass. It was definitely one of the most memorable scenes from this flick and was a really good use of a tracking shot, and everybody knows how much of a sucker I am for those kinds of shots.

Let me also not forget to mention that the score/soundtrack by The Chemical Brothers is absolutely phenomenal and what I think separates this from many other thrillers. There’s always a constant dub beat in the background of this flick and it keeps on getting louder and louder and louder until you feel like you just entered a club full of teens all strung-out on ecstasy. I never really have been a fan of those guys much but when it comes to scoring an action flick, they do the job just about as perfect as Hanz Zimmer has been doing for the past couple of years.

The problem with this flick is that even though on the technical front, it’s astonishing, everything else seems to be pretty lame. The script isn’t anything special, nor is it anything worth recommending. Too many times did this film focus on Hanna and her little trip with this family where she got to see the world and encounter all of life’s problems on her own. Right from the beginning I knew they were going to go down this road so when it actually did happen it was kind of disappointing since it seemed like this flick was going to be a tad different from anything else that I’ve seen. It also didn’t help that I couldn’t really get attached to Hanna’s character considering she’s just one of those fish-out-of-water characters that obviously looks like she is a little Coo-Coo for Coco Puffs so it’s not like I could feel anything for her since she didn’t really have much to worry about because every person that walked into her, she practically killed right away.

Still, though, the biggest problem this flick hits with its end is that there is a little plot twist they decide to throw in here that was too obvious and the end with how Blanchett’s shoes come into play was a little too goofy. The film was just a bummer because it obviously drops the ball when it came to being a cool moment and it’s just a shame that Wright didn’t get a script that deserved him because he is probably the biggest star of this whole flick.

However, the cast is pretty good and I can’t really put the blame on them for anything whatsoever. Saoirse Ronan is pretty bad-ass as Hanna and seems like that sort of weird and freaky-looking kid that would be a secret cold-blooded killer, but then again watch in 10 years when I’m calling her the hottest chick on the planet; Eric Bana is pretty awesome as her daddy and is allowed to show off his action stuff; and Cate Blanchett is pretty much a total bitch as the evil and sinister Marissa. Good cast all around just not enough on the script side to give them the love that they deserve.

Consensus: Hanna is super stylized with a pumping score from The Chemical Brothers, and some very cool-looking action scenes courtesy of Joe Wright, however, the script fails to live up to the direction and just ends up being a little too boring and obvious to ignore after awhile.